FYI: Quitting porn but still masterbating is not a reboot

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Skyfall1125, Dec 6, 2018 at 12:52 PM.

  1. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    Just so you all know...

    Maybe it's a good first step for some of you new guys, but it's not a reboot and will not heal your heart and mind long term. This is especially true if your past includes coupling PMO together for multiple years. Below, I expect to find many posts and replies of excuses and justification for continuing a self-indulgent and disgusting addiction.

    I have good news for you though. It's very possible for you to still find success with no PMO. Wanna know the secret? ONE DAY AT A TIME.

    Have a great day nofap! :cool:
     
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  2. Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Can i do two days at a time? Or only one?
     
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  3. yaaz

    yaaz Fapstronaut

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    You rock !! True AF , either hardmode or no PM . Otherwise i dont want it
     
  4. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    You're right, I'm going to argue with this point. I believe it's possible to reboot with No P and limited M. I don't think you can make a blanket statement for everyone. I now M about every 1-2 weeks without P and without fantasizing about P. I plan to never watch P again, ever in my life. I really have no desire for P anymore. I still don't consider myself rebooted because some thoughts still go to my past, but they are significantly less and have been improving daily. Also, sex is much better now too, I would say back to normal. So, for me, No P is the way to go. It's healthy and more natural for me, so I disagree with calling it an excuse and masturbation itself is not disgusting when it's done in a healthy way, I think it's harmful to spread that kind of message.
     
  5. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    Also...there are people in relationships, having sex in a relationship is healthy as well. Telling these people that you can't reboot with no P or no PM would be inaccurate as well. If they want to go full no PMO that's fine, but your're saying the ONLY way is no PMO, that's just flat our false.
     
  6. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    Please explain.

    We fundamentally disagree here. To me, there is no healthy way to masterbate. It's all unhealthy every time.

    Now, because you masterbate occasionally do I think you are a sex addict and a disgusting human being? No. I think addiction to masturbation and idolizing/addiction to sex is unhealthy for a human being. The more you do it though, the more you are playing with fire and the more you are preparing your body to become addicted.

    People that have been addicted to PMO daily for multiple years should not masterbate at all during or after reboot. It's akin to a heroin addict using again just once in awhile after getting clean. It doesn't make any sense, and will only lead to becoming addicted again. Most people here can related because most people here were heavy daily PMOers for multiple years.
     
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  7. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    For folks in relationships, my suggestion would be to talk to your significant other about this and be honest and open about your addiction and struggles. Chances are, he/she will give you 90-120 days to heal that will help the relationship for the rest of your lives. If not, maybe that person should visit nofap as well.

    We disagree here. I'm fine with that. Not trying to change anyone's mind. Just my knowledge and experience.

    Thanks for sharing this and have a great day!
     
  8. Kamakiri

    Kamakiri Fapstronaut

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    Why? What possible use is it? You are sexually active, so it isn't even necessary as those without partners may claim.
    I agree with @Skyfall1125 100%. I am also speaking from experience as a chronic and heavy PMO addict. However, I am now 442 days free from PMO. My observations on this site over several years concur with the insight of the opening post.
     
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  9. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    Children masturbate, it's natural/normal. I think you are linking P with M and that doesn't always have to happen. I can M without P and without any thoughts of P. M is a natural human practice. We are all here because we are PAs, not MAs. P is the real problem. Most of the human population does M, not everyone who does it has an addiction.

    Maybe you're assuming everyone who masturbates has some problems with it? Maybe you're taking a religious view? I'm not sure...If you look up masturbation on WebMD, you will see medical experts say it's healthy.

    Your analogy is flawed because the heroin could be just P. I do agree with you that most people here cannot do just No P, but you made a blanket statement that I think is incorrect.

    Yes, we disagree. I think it would be unfair to your partner not to allow them to have sex if you can handle rebooting that way. Again, I'm not saying it's for everyone, but you're making a blanket statement which is incorrect.

    Even the creator of this site allowed people to have different goals, hence P mode vs PM mode vs hard mode. So you guys are arguing with the original creator of NoFap and medical science...
     
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  10. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    There can be many reasons...Your partner doesn't feel like having sex, you are feeling horny, you have blue balls.
     
  11. Kamakiri

    Kamakiri Fapstronaut

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    Oh, come on! These are not reasons. Masturbating just because you feel horny or your partner doesn't want sex! As for blue balls, guys just have to dangle them in cold water - masturbation is completely unnecessary.
     
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  12. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    We're humans, we masturbate when we are horny, it is natural. What doesn't make sense about that? It's not natural when P is involved. The argument was never about whether M is necessary, it was stated as the subject of the thread that you cannot reboot with M. Here is information from a medical source, WebMD:
    "Who Masturbates?
    Just about everybody. Masturbation is a very common behavior, even among people who have a sex partner. In one national study, 95% of males and 89% of females reported that they have masturbated. In young children, masturbation is a normal part of the growing child's exploration of his or her body.
    Why Do People Masturbate?
    In addition to feeling good, masturbation is a good way of relieving the sexual tension that can build up over time, especially for people without partners or whose partners are not willing or available for sex. Masturbation also is a safe sexual alternative for people who wish to avoid pregnancy and the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases. It also is necessary when a man must give a semen sample for infertility testing or for sperm donation. When sexual dysfunction is present in an adult, masturbation may be prescribed by a sex therapist to allow a person to experience an orgasm (often in women) or to delay its arrival (often in men)."
     
  13. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    According to WebMD (It won't let me copy paste the words onto here)
    https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/masturbation-guide#1

    It basically states that M is normal, healthy sexual activity that is pleasant, fulfilling, acceptable, and safe. It is a good way to experience sexual pleasure and can be done throughout life. M is only considered a problem when it inhibits sexual activity with a partner, is done in public, or causes significant distress to the person. It may cause distress if it is done compulsively or interferes with daily life and activities.

    You guys are confusing normal/healthy M with problematic/unhealthy M. I do agree with you that most people on this site don't have the ability to have healthy M in order to reboot. The whole reason most of us are on here is because we have problem/unhealthy M. But not everyone does and that's why your blanket statement is incorrect. Personally I have gotten rid of P and have no more desires to use it anymore, my sex life is much better, and I M sometimes without fantasizing about P or any of the other twisted stuff I was once into. I know this makes you upset to hear, but that's what you should expect when you make blanket statements.
     
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  14. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    Did you read the Getting Started Guide we get when we sign up here: https://www.nofap.com/getting-started/ ? It is pretty clear
    It goes on to say
    Now there are pitfalls, and I would advise people to give up masturbation for the duration of their reboot, but saying that "quitting porn but still masterbating is not a reboot" is not true, it works for some people.
     
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  15. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for sharing. I respect your thoughts around this topic, but like stated earlier, I just disagree here. I also DO NOT trust WebMD with my the health of my heart, mind, and body. Now that doesn't mean there isn't good information to be found there, but I would not trust it 100%.

    Have you done 90 days no PMO (hard-mode)? And if so, how did it feel to M after you denied yourself for so long?

    I've completed 49 days as of writing this response and entering day 50. I'm certainly not at the 90 days yet, but I already feel major changes in my brain and body. To be honest, it would feel very strange to masterbate at this point. That doesn't mean I don't get sexual urges because I most certainly do, but the difference now is that I don't act out on them. I'm a single man in my 30s, and I have no clue when or if I will be married, but I feel like I can say at this point that I would never intentionally masterbate and not think it was a mistake. Will it happen again? Maybe. Will I ever again embrace an amount of masturbation as "healthy" as a means to justify doing it? Absolutely not. To me, it's never okay to do if you are by yourself and unmarried.

    Now, if you are married, and your partner is unable to have sexual relations with you because he/she is physically unable to perform at that moment or he/she is not in your proximity (maybe traveling or something) then maybe you can justify masturbation next to your partner (or video chat) so that the moment is still shared with the one that you love.

    My point is that O is meant to be shared with your lover 100% of the time. There is never a healthy way to have an O by yourself. Never. I want to be clear here, these are all my opinions and not meant to be me telling you what is true and what is not. At the end of the day, you are free to do whatever you want to do. Again, thanks for your responses. Have a great day!
     
  16. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    Nailed it dude. But like I said in the OP, lots of folks will come in here and start throwing out excuses to justify their actions. At the end of the day, they are addicted, but maybe can't see it yet.
     
  17. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    We're humans? true
    We masterbate when we are horny? Some do
    It is natural? 100% false. It is conditioned.
     
  18. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    No, I did hard mode for 2 weeks, then switched to easy mode, and I'm basically fine and doing great. M felt great and it squirted out instead of oozing out, it was very satisfying.

    That's fine, if that's what is important for you, but you're applying your thoughts and ideals for everyone else by making blanket statements. I disagree with your view and that's ok too.

    Not true. A man may need to provide semen for infertility testing and his wife doesn't have to be there. Also, I'm fine with having an O without my partner, there is no problem with that.

    I'm not throwing out excuses, I'm giving you facts. Yes, I am a PA, but that has been resolved and under control now. Masturbating no longer makes me want to look at P and I have decided P will no longer be in my life.
     
  19. ClaritySeeker

    ClaritySeeker Fapstronaut

    False, children do it. Please get your facts straight.
     
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  20. Skyfall1125

    Skyfall1125 Fapstronaut

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    Not facts. Still opinions. We are different and we disagree. I'm okay with that. You are okay with that.
     

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