first time rebooting..

hello i'm anthony, i'n 21 years old and i realized i have a problem. for years i never thought of it as a problem ,just a way to pastime and nothing more but lately i've come to the realization that it started to interfiere with my life ,my routine is usually to look at porn 2 and on lazy days maybe 3 times a day or even more depending of whether or not i have something to do.
i started like many when in highschool , i always was more promiscuous but looking back i can see the turning point, i started with porn like many, with movies then when that didn't suffice i moved to internet porn but even that wasn't enough, slowly i started to peek underneath my classmates skirts even when as far as to film them in the bathroom when we had a class sleepover ,i'm not very proud of it i have long deleted the video but still i look back and see why things are the way they are. i no longer do it but still haunts me that i was that way, worst things is they all knew what i was doing and i knew that, they knew but i just kept doing it.
i graduated from high school and started university , before i had guidelines, i had limits to how much i could sleep how much time i could stay up late on the computer but now i'm all on my own. those who raised you can't control you anymore so you have to figure everything by yourself and with a father who recently left his family things aren't in the best of shapes.
i have had sex on many occasions, but i never had a stable girlfriend for more than a couple months at most.the rest of the time i found myself frequenting escorts or browsing tinder (which i no longer do to self esteem issues), but now even that has lost its appeal.
i have a problem, i spend a lot of time in front of a computer if not for studying for recreation and that always leads me astray , whenever i have down time i go into one of my "go to" pages, always start with dirty comics and then move to videos .it's so easy to fall that i don't realize i'm doing it until something inside my brain clicks and i realize what's in front of my pc i close the window but i know i already lost today's fight.
i never thought ,what's the harm in what i'm doing? before i was a way and now i find myself recluded from reality i let go of my obligations, continually i use porn as a way to escape them.
the breaking point was the other day, after climax i realized, i did it in a very short time: and looking back it's been happening for a long time, maybe i developed the habit out of necessity , it has long moved from being a thing i do for joy to more of a thing i do out of necessity like a daily chore i just need to get out of the way.
i no longer want to feel an immediate need to fap. i just want to look inside myself and not be disappointed for what i see.