DonkeyKong Life After 90 Days

90 Days ago I had a real private goal yet to mention on NoFap I have always said I want to get to 3months of porn before I try for Children as I want to be completely clean if were lucky enough to have any.
Ironically after realising porn was an addiction for me at 17 I have always dreamt of 3 months not realising it was a common reboot goal on Nofap.

So am I rebooted?
No!
but I am so much closer than I have ever been. And this thread is now about reaching a year porn free, possibly masturbation free as I havedone so far but I haven't decided on this completely.
But my first goal is 120 day PMO Free as I like smaller achievable goals. But I will be celebration the 100 day milestone as it's a nice round number.
I am loving this mental challenge where as previous attempts it's been daunting. So I need to keep climbing.
My main benefit is self respect and a better use of my time. I have done so many things where I have wasted time previously.
I am going to limit my usage to twice weekly now as sort of a weaning process. Wednesday nights and Sundays as I am a bit conscious of replacing too much of my porn time with blogging, but it has been so influential in helping me hit 90.
I am going to try so hard to keep this thread updated once weekly until I hit 1 year.

 

I am also starting a tracker for not shouting, I don't want to sound like a nutter because its not all the time but I do get a similar feeling to relapsing if I do. So as I'm aiming for self satisfaction i'm going to give it a go. But I won't beat myself up too much as it isn't a major problem. I'd love to reach 3 months for not shouting.

 

Evening, Failed the shouting! Determined not to reboot for pmo as a consequence. Really need to sort this out thoe. I'm normally very calm but every now and again I lose it like an idiot.
If I can conquer NoFap I know I can master this too..
On the porn front, I'm reading peoples journals who have relapsed after 90 days I find it really helpful as it lets you know there is still a long way to go. Are there any threads about people relapsing after a year? Or any threads about people that have recovered for a long time then gone back to porn? Also any great recommendations of threads for people that have been successful for 2 or 3 years?
Look Forward Not Back!

 

Boom, 98 days. Had a fantastic weekend with the wife. I know I am one of the lucky ones on this site with a partner and i'm very grateful for that. We had an amazing night together and she drove me crazy teasing me in her underwear. My concentration is completely on her and sex is so much better now i'm living without porn. I never struggled with erection but she has said how I am always harder for her now.
I'll be honest I have had quite an easy week urge wise. There was a few moments early in the week while the opportunity was there but no real tests.
I'm sure there will be plenty to come (again no pun intended).
Really concentrating on only using the site twice a week now and reaching 120 days. I would also love to make 3 months without shouting.
Fingers crossed to keeping solid!

 

DarkTunnel. I absolutely appreciate the opinion " If I was married or had a steady girlfriend I wouldn't even think about porn again.". But in reality it's easy to convince yourself of this until the time comes.

I became addicted to porn at the age where my only space was my room, there happened to be a computer in it and sex wasn't regular. When I first started watching porn I would watch the teasing parts of the film and the parts where the story was set. And as my habbit grew I would skip "straight to the money shot" or the orgasm etc, and as my habbit grew further I became more picky. I would browse through different videos until a particular girl or situation aroused me.
And actually I try to convince myself it didn't affect our relationship but it did. I would request to do things that I was only requesting for because this was the particular thing that I would ejaculate to at the time. And this did make sex probably less natural and less enjoyable for my wife.
Ironically sex sometimes was a trigger for my porn use.
See my addiction was far more than sexual relief. There were times where I would masturbate so much my skin on my cock would be red sore.
I would purposely stay up later than my wife so I could go on porn and I would get up at 5.30 in the morning the next day to watch porn.
It was bleak. It got to the point at one stage where I was masturbating at work.
I would get excited at the thought of a cam show at 2 in the afternoon and it would be the first thing I would do when I got home.
I appreciate I am not selling myself particularly well but please do not convince yourself that a partner will be the complete cure.
Just Imagine your as horny as fuck, it doesn't man you can order sex and with internet porn you can wank on demand. If your wife doesn't want sex do you fight cravings or go on porn.
I appreciate it is insanely hard to give up pmo hard mode, and having a sexual partner is a massive help but please don't be naïve enough to think a partner is the solution.
There are married guys on here who are not giving there kids and wifes enough time and instead they are wasting it on porn.
That is the motivation that has got me to 100 days.

I massively appreciate your post and really genuinely hope your addiction isn't or doesn't become as serious as mine was.

Yeah I appreciate the question about the shouting thing. I don' know if I have anger issues. I'm really laid back and don't argue at all. But if on the occasion I get drawn into an argument I lose it and shout a load of shit I don't mean. Its just something else I would like to get rid of sooner rather than later.

 

Thanks Phelynx

 

101 Days..
I'm really pleased I have kept of NoFap this week until tonight. I have decided only to blog on Wednesdays and Sundays as I found that before I would come home, be lazy and go on porn I was starting to use NoFap as an excuse to be lazy. That said I am one for learning as I go along and without the time I had spent I wouldn't be at this stage.

Slight danger, because it's quite a long time sine I pmo'd I am starting to forget the feeling of guilt after a porn session.. I also keep teasing myself that one way of seeing I have rebooted is by going on porn then seeing if I binge afterwards. I know this is bullshit and it's just a type of urge.
Because of this I read my first ever post on nofap which was straight after a 4 hour binge session and this really helped me relate to my feelings after.
I also keep running all the bad experiences of porn through my head, and this is really helping me.
I will blog again Sunday bring on 120 days.

 

It Sunday. Really struggled with google adwords this week. The wife bought underwear and there are loads of underwear models popping up on my laptop. I have successfully got these taken of but it was a real trigger.
All in all another solid week. Speak on Wedneday!

 

Day 107.
Good evening. I had decided on my comment tonight and then I read Ruso's comment.
He summed it up pretty well with the conscious effort quote.
Urges aren't as strong but they are more like a conscious thought. And I need to make sure I don't become complacent and fail.
I think because the urges aren't as strong they could still be dangerous, because the further on I go the more distant the feeling of relapse is, it could be easy to slip.
But I am still feeling solid, I'm reminding myself of this to prevent failure.

I do feel I haven't emphasised enough how much of a change this journey has made to me. It hasn't created miracles in other aspects of my life, in fact I made one of my biggest errors at work the other day. But I can promise whole heartedly it has made an enormous impact to my frame of mind and my self belief.
It's a battle I have wanted to fight for a long time and the thought of not being able to overcome it used to get me down. I achieving this far has massively increased my self respect.
So despite the days where you feel like your not benefiting for the amount of effort your putting in be aware this is a type of urge. It is a great rewarding thing to do.
I just felt I had to emphasise that because I have regular commented in other journals saying there are days where I also feel the benefits aren't as obvious.

Also Ruso. I have made graphs. But the wife was funny about me uploading documents.
Finally no arguments lately either.

 

Good Morning. This is my Sunday Update.
It's been a mini challenge keeping of the site and only updating 2 days a week. But I think it's the right thing for me as at this stage I haven't felt any overwhelming urges lately. However if I feel like I need the support from the site I would happily break it.

I have been thinking a bit about what Ruso said. He said it's a conscious effort for him and at day 111 it is starting to feel like that. I am still reacting to triggers but instead of an overwhelming urge it's a conscious choice that I'm making three or four times a day not to pmo. It is still a challenge for me and i'm beginning to wonder whether I will have to make these conscious decisions as frequently throughout my life or weather they will reduce In frequency.
But in myself i'm feeling great. There was a stage a couple of months ago when I read about people putting pressure on their partners to replace there pmo addiction with sex and I have been extremely cautious not to do this with my wife. My wife has always been hot but sex is such a stronger feeling and emotion for me now. It's crazy to think that I jeopardised my relationship with her for porn but I did, but luckily i'm starting to feel like i'm on the road to complete recovery.
I didn't think I suffered from erectile dysfunction but I am definitely harder now during sex.
I appreciate I am very lucky having a partner to support me.
I am staring to feel ready for another personal challenge now. I'm looking at starting a business and getting more involved into a sport. These are things that I feel would've been a much bigger part of me if I hadn't struggled with pmo addiction.

Daily benefits I am feeling all the time.
Punctual
I feel cleaner
More focused
Better frame of mind
More productive, gardening, cleaning, playing squash all instead of wanking

So I will browse the site to read a few of your journals then I will write again Wednesday or one night in the week.

DK22

 

Happy Wednesday.
I had a crazy dream Monday night. I dreamt I was watching a video about not watching pmo presented by a good looking female and half way through it turned into a porn film. This is a new one on me.
This lead to stronger urges on Tuesday but again I reminded myself of the feeling of relapse and this seemed to get me through.
I am a bit frustrated with how much porn is still on my mind. I have been very strict with myself throughout this challenge. And although urges are no where near as strong as they were I am very conscious 4 or 5 times a day that I am trying not to go on porn. I was hoping by this stage it would be a rare thought.
Does anybody know if this will continue or weather there will be a stage where I can last days without considering porn.
It's like continuously having a chocolate bar and having to chose not to eat it.