Hello there, maybe I use femdom giving up control and getten loose. I assume its also because in my unconcious i lack self esteem and self worth. But right now i am doing pretty well.
Glad to hear things are going well dude. Yea same here I use it as a way to let go and let someone else bring me pleasure. An escape from pushing myself. The need for it seems to flair up when I’m tired or frustrated. I’ve had a lot of confidence knocked out of me too and it can feed trashing behaviours and become a bit self harmy. I’ve decided to have an emergency swimming bag packed and when feeling like this head out to the steam room and local gym pool. Maybe even double up on my anti depressants and get a good rest. Call someone up. Get out in nature, meditate. Easy to say now but the feelings come on strong. I’d like a decent girlfriend I could experiment with and do a bit of kinky stuff doesn’t all have to be me being alpha stuff as long as there’s no toxic head games involved could be fun. But have found with porn and escorts it just escalates into more extreme tastes. Visiting dom dungeons I’ve seen the size of the huge toys men must take and I’m sure they don’t start with that crap. It very often leaves me feeling like I’ve degraded myself with dom stuff but if the woman enjoys and gets off on it it doesn’t feel as bad. There are loads of times it just fires me up and makes me want to smash the dominant woman and get told off for trying to top from the bottom Maybe it’s the adhd part of me that likes the attention of being in trouble lol
