Changing myself from Incel to more succesful Incel

Day 16:

I did studying and also I did a walk, which was overall much better day, I also got one certificate regarding IT system administration, though I will study more and get the final one. My main goal is to achieve it and then I will start applying to jobs that will pay x3 of the average salary in my country.
I really hope that I will be successful, but I know I will feel like a fraud but it's only an imposter syndrome.
If I could get proper job, I might even try to invite girls to dates, though I would still act as I wouldn't have money, but I would be able to just pay for simple cafe date that is cheap and not worry about bills and maybe I might then break my circle of inceldom.

What I did:
1 hour of walking
10 mins of meditation
5 hours of studying

 

Day 17:

The day repeated the same way as before, it will boring and repetitive overall mostly, as I didn't do anything special.

What I did:

1 hour of walking
10mins of meditation
5 hours of studying

 

Day 18:

I will do now positive thinking and enforce it, I will see how I will do it.
I will also start journalling, I will go forward and enforce my own success already in my mind.

What I did:

30mins of walking
10 mins of meditation
5 hours of studying

 

Day 19:

More of studying and repetitive stuff! Nothing really changed much.

What I did:

30mins of walking
10 mins of meditation
5 hours of studying

 

Day 20:
I finished finally my studies, which were like 6 month course in like 20 days.
Now I will be searching job in IT, now going to get my life out from poverty to lower middle class,
then I will see how far then I can go from that.
If I can achieve higher upper middle class within end of the year.

I would get often pervert thoughts and I could say I would feel frustrated regarding that, as I often think currently like
"I could reward myself, it wouldn't hurt", but no I will keep strong and go on with NoFap as my life is getting better and
if I want to change my life really, I must be consistent with things.

I will have now 2-3 days of holidays.

What I did:

30mins of walking
10 mins of meditation
4 hours of studying

 

Day 21 to 25:

I was relaxing and I was happy that I received first emails for interviews in IT sector, I'm literally changing my life fully.
Literally from Incel Hikkimori to IT dude who gonna make decent cash and the crazy thing I'm without IT degree and all,
self study for 20 days and It's rapid change.

No porn, no masturbation and full dedication towards studies and I feel much more confident about my future and perspectives.
If it goes on and I'm gonna keep winning, then NoFap will have changed my life fully in so little short time.

 

Day 26 to 29:

I prepared for interview and I went trough it, now I gonna take maybe some cake or something to celebrate the experience and then will most likely relax trough the day, though I said that I know Azure which I don't know anything about, so I will have to get fast free cert from coursera and I will be getting back to my regular schedule, as these days it has been an mess.

 

I could say it's ultra difficult, as kinda I'm so far an loser in my life and as I'm nerd too, it makes me even more difficult for me as the women won't have interest in me anyways mainly because I have no career yet even when I'm pushing for it now and because I don't connect with so called ''normies'' and less educated women at all.

So a lot of times even if I end up talking with an girl then it's from abroad far away most of times and as I'm brokie and even if I click, I wouldn't be able to establish relationships as I'm brokie.

 

Day 29 to 32:

I've noticed I've been so exhausted and emotionally I'm struggling very much though I'm pushing myself with Nofap and studying, improving myself and everything that It crumbles on me in massive way, because I would release stress trough porn and all frustrations, walks and such things don't do for me much.
As I was doing the thing for at least twice a day for many years, being a virgin without any girlfriend or really any future.
Though I have been also currently too harsh on myself and also calling myself in more harsh terms, even when nobody really would describe be as incel when it comes to personality.
I think It's overall pressure and mentality how I treat myself without any self respect towards myself, but I also know that I'm really pushing myself.

My posts stopped being daily, as I had interview and then after it all I was feeling depressed and not good enough.
Though it's all self sabotage by myself and wanting everything to go perfect and if something fails, I want to be like turtle hiding from the whole world.
It isn't healthy at all or good in any way.

 

Day 33:

I've been mainly reflecting now and then I will fix my sleeping schedule again, as it's essential for me currently and then I can pick up studies in more normal way, otherwise I wake up too late and the whole day already has passed.

What I did:
1 hour walk
Relaxing