One way or another, we are meant to reproduce. We can have sex without fertilization with a partner no problem. With Porn, there is nobody else but the watcher/fapper involved. I think that what it does to our psyche is to instill "looser-ness" in our mind...we fap because we can't have real sex, or not enough, or physically not able to after an accident or other issue, etc... With Virtual reality porn coming, there will be more people jumping into the artificial porn stuff...And im sure that sex robots aren't too far behind...so males will have sex with their expensive robots, and women will be busy running the planet..... I'm joking here ,but we have to be careful, if not we males will all end up with a gag-ball and a chain around out neck, chained at a computer...
Sleeping Beauty..i think you nailed it. the bad part of PMO is MO. it makes me crazy why NO ONE is research in this direction. Since Your Brain On Porn, people get stuck and think only porn is the problem. All the energy, concentration, power, will power is lost in MO. I know yoga, and i practice moving energy. I can masturbate without ejaculation, and the energy..electric showwave, can move up my spin to my head and hands..pleasurable. and also i don't lose the energy, it feels great without the feeling down and tired after. THE PROBLEM is, i still stay horny. i can masturbate without ejaculation and have endless orgasms, but i still want more and more. I suspect this is because of porn since i work all the time on computer. There are practices for women also for not losing energy. you can MO without the losing energy part.
When you are totally engrossed in an activity it doesn't matter whether you're a man or woman. Both the male and female exist in both sexes just in different quantities. I've also had some invasive thoughts previously and questioned my sexuality which caused me serious mental anguish until recently on this NoFap journey where i've realised that I need to do what is necessary for life and the things that make me happy as a priority, these worries will fall by the wayside.
Though I can respect the idea that porn decreases masculinity. I personally don't believe it as 100% fact. I believe masculinity is based on mind set, upbringing, self confidence etc. I watched P for 13 years from a very young age and I consider myself masculine. But still if your a weak minded person (no offence) P can quite possibly shape you into a sissy. But P isn't the major factor I believe. The rest is down to your mind as a whole.
PMO isn´t a stand-alone it come with certain qualities, for example a lack of self-control and discipline. So yes, if you take the society written traits for masculinity into account, PMO most likely promotes a decline in certain masculine qualities. That doesn´t mean one becomes more feminine or whatever, just that these social traits seen as masculine are diminished in your behaviour and personality. Still, there´s a big MAYBE in front of it and you have to judge everyone individually.
Yeah, I really wish people would research more into MO, too! I think porn is unhealthy, it wires your brain to see people as two dimensional beings who are only good for sex. But it's the MO that really causes the depression, the fatigue, weakness, lack of motivation, lack of charisma, lack of "manliness" and power, etc...This is just my opinion, but considering I'm not the only one who has come to this conclusion about orgasms, I'm pretty sure there's something to it. I just don't see how staring at a screen by itself can be the main source of the the problems these PMO addicts have to deal with on here. However, since orgasm and semen are used to create an entirely new life, it makes sense that such an activity would be exhausting on our bodies and spirits, even if we don't entirely understand why from a literal, concrete, scientific perspective (yet!). Huh, you can orgasm without losing any energy? I've heard of that, and I'm curious but it kinda gets me wondering what other possible downsides there are to that. I would think it would still be hard on your body to get ready for such a huge release and then have it circumvented back up the spine like that. Or maybe it would still numb your brain to other pleasures, because you get used to the shockwave of pleasure, like a drug. I'm just wondering. I guess you say you still look at porn, but have you ever tried going for months and months without any PMO, and compared it to how you feel overall when you have these oragasms without draining your energy on a regular basis? I'm curious :O
I don´t know SleepingBeauty. People have masturbated since way back in history. Your biggest sexual organ is your brain. Though it has more uses than being a sexual organ, it still is. And internetP fucks the brain up the most. P rapes your mind.
People have masturbated since way back in history, and some of the world's oldest religions have warned against the dangers of it, too. Yes, porn does mess up your mind. But I don't agree that it's the worst part of it here. Why? I've been MOing since I was 7 years old, and it's caused my life to be a black hole of misery (and it now getting better since I'm quitting). But I didn't get exposed to porn until I was a teen, and even then it never became such a huge addiction for me as MO was. I could go indefinitely without P, couldn't go three days without MO. But MO still caused me to have all these problems other nofappers are reporting on here. Maybe for some people the main problem really is porn. If you take an honest look, give hard mode an honest, thorough try, and then decide for you the main problem really is just the porn, then more power to you. But I still think that MO is the bigger problem (at least for most people), and P mostly just encourages it, judging both from the plethora of success stories on here and my personal experience.
This has been very interesting reading. I have never felt gender anxiety brought on by PMO. There were times when I didn't even use porn to M, it could happen thinking about some girl at work, or someone I found hot. I found that generally speaking men need to bond first in order to communicate personal matters, where women communicate first in order to bond. Women see men as oversexed dogs, where men see women as conniving cats, go figure? It's a wonder any of us were ever born. Porn perfs simply see us as "marks" waiting to be fleeced. I know when I call them "trained seals" some folks may get upset, but in our case they are just that. They even have "checklists" on how they should interact with fans at these so-called conventions. To me when I actually realized how they try to legitimize their "industry" I finally realized that by denying them my attention and my money, I was halfway to my goal, of course NoFap was a big part of that.
After the energy jumps up my spine, having the release. I'm not horny any more, i should not continue..right? but no, I LIKE, I LOVE!! watching porn..and fapping. I would do hours sessions of clicking and masturbating. moving my energy up, again and again (which is VERY HEALTHY! by the way). The problem is after hours of orgasms, which are amazing (body orgasms are much more pleasurable than the tiny explosion) I have a need, to ejaculate..to because i'm horny but i got used to ejaculate. ejaculation feels differnt, small orgasm but the wanting is crashing deeper. When you ejaculate, the wanting, crashes down...and it takes time to recover. when you only orgasm, the wanting crashes down, but you can get horny again and orgasm again..immediately if you like. even though the wanting is not there... porn, reawaken my wanting faster. The good news is, today, after 3 days of NoFap...No PMO or MO. I got crazy, horny. and decided to MO without porn...WOW...i could hardly get it hard! i had to close my eyes and focus on sensation. very different masturbation without porn. Anyway, in the end, the way in my opinion, is fapping/sex without porn, and moving energy up. its the only way to survive long term with "nofap". because, "sexual desire" sexual energy is accumulating in the pelvic area..and at some point it will get stronger. which will make you crazy and you have to release it. thats why so many people fail. even months of hold, some guys eventually "release" OR they are having sex, which releases them..having the illusion they didn't lose energy (but they did, porn is not the energy sucker). I studies yoga, and i didn't masturbate. no sex. for 4 months. no computer. and i didn't have a need! i was relaxed. because i moved my energy like crazy up, even without masturbation. but i also did A LOT of yoga, several hours per day + meditations. The moment i bought computer, BOOM..porn..fapping..bye bye energy.
Ah, thank you for sharing That's an interesting experience. I think I like the thought of energy transmutation (or helping the energy flow through you, rather than getting stuck in the pelvic area) by just doing yoga and meditation like you describe. I feel like I am already a little bit able to transmute the energy by choosing to be creative when I feel sexual urges... Maybe one day if I feel stable enough in my level of well-being, I will explore the different kind of orgasms you describe. Right now I still feel I am sexually exhausted, and need to stick to abstinence to regain a healthy level of energy. I wish you well in nofap!
you can do it. 1. there is a meditation. but most people in the beginning are doing it really bad. you need to learn to move energy, it takes practice. 2. you can do Asanas which are much easier than meditation candle pose ardha sirsasana and the full one you can do https://www.youtube.com/results?q=uddiyana+bandha all these poses will move your energy without meditation, simply by the physical movement. candle pose and uddiyana bandha you can simply do without much preparation. head stand you should do if you know at least some warming up exercises, you don't want to hurt your neck i cannot do these because i got fat after delivery of my girl also life with a child, takes away my energy and most of my time...have little patience to do yoga or meditations you can ask me if you need help. i generally love the yoga world, i wish i had the time and energy to go back to it.
I think the decrease in masculinity comes from the fact that porn makes you become seriously passive and you get stuck in destructive cycles with not enough energy to break them. When I was younger I was self assured, confident, went out and got what I wanted that I thought would make me happy, but now that i'm off the porn, the drugs the other sensual pleasures that are bad for you I feel real joy, real peace and contentment.
I think in my case it was a "chain" like: Porn addiction ---> Being passive, less outgoing ---> isolation ---> getting overweighted ---> loosing my confidence and hating my body ---> don't hang out with guys so I am lost that "one of the guys" feeling ---> think they are hating me and everyone hating me (even myself) and I'll be never deserve to get a woman ---> envy the other guys why they can have a woman and me not, and feeling angry to them because of this ---> gender identity and sexuality confusion. This chain is how I can describe my "road down". What do you think, is it possible to reverse this? (I am in this "state" for years and it became my comfort zone, so I am really know that I want change but my mind sometimes convincing me that I even don't really want this change but I know deep down I want it.)
Your body is the most sophisticated gadget on the planet, when you save your sexual energy it can re distribute itself without your help. Lust is inside of us. We give the meaning to the beautiful girl/guy to say sexual things in ourselves about them. I've found when you can refocus your thinking at the first sign of it descending into sexuality then you've transmuted energy, you've chosen a higher possibility to and for yourself. The techniques the big O has prescribed are more advanced yogic techniques, i'd do a 12 posture series you can do in the morning called Surya namaskar. Do 7/8 repetitions of this and all of the pelvic lifting is covered. Just my 2 cents.
Yeah, 100% sign. I think for sensitive persons it's particularly hard. I feel with you, this also happended to me in a similar way.. And I tell you it is possible to reverse this! I really went back to my roots, and feel really good now, and this is just the beginning. What should help you is do something you're good in, what maybe others can't do. This will help you to get your confidence back. It's not easy, to find out, "who you are", and i think this journey may never end, but only the journey can tell you. Don't let others tell you "who you are".
And how you feel now? Are you totally sure in your gender identity and sexual orientation? How long have you been in your own journey to reverse this chain?
Hey kriss93, ah sorry, i was a bit inaccurate here. I never had to struggle with gender identity or sexual orientation. For me it was only this becoming very passive and isolation thing. And i struggled with a feeling that some thought i'm gay, maybe because I'm a very sensitive person and never had a relationship with a girl. I think the real journey started about 2 years ago, when i started to leave all false "values" behind me. And at the moment NoFap seems to be the last piece of puzzle to my real me without a wearing mask to fit in somewhere. In some moments now i feel so good, i haven't felt for ages. Free of all anxieties. Somehow like a little child. About a year ago i discoverd a book called "Power of Now" by Eckhardt Tolle, which was one big starter for my spiritual movement. I can recommend this to everyone.
