No fapping, no porn, not even thoughts for most of the time. I went to sleep with flashbacks possibly induced by weird dreams the night before. I woke up and searched for what I had in my mind. I watched and masturbated. Not to be discouraging to new fapstronauts but I have persisted for about 5 years. I haven't lost hope but I am so disappointed right now. I honestly don't know what to do. That was my longest cleanest streak. My life is great though! I'm running a business that I enjoy, I cycle, run, swim, do home workouts, eat very healthily, and spend time with friends. I am not with someone, however. I need some perspective because I can't talk about this with anyone else right now.
Good Job for the streak! Let's go. Reset. Keep going. See it from a wider perspective, it doesn't matter.
I'm in the school of looking at it like this: 120 days of healthy behavior. One day of unhealthy. If you go the next 120 days clean again, then you'll have been healthy for 240 out of 241 days. And that ain't bad at all. Overall, I'd say you've done a LOT more good for yourself and your health that you've done negative. It's okay to feel like crap after what happened. But feel like crap and then let it go. Have compassion for yourself in that you are human and not perfect. Instead of feeling disgust (or other negative emotions), take some pride in what you've done so far and build on it. It happened and you can't change that. What you can affect is what you do next. How optimistic you want to be. How hard you want to continue on this path. Because you are at a crossroads right now and you do have a choice as to what path you take. Today may be the trickiest day you've had in a long time. You'll be challenged for sure. So just be aware of that and make it through the hour. After that, take on the next hour. Just because the horse bucked you off doesn't mean he won't eventually carry you to the town of Freedom. Strength and inner peace to you today.
Just rememember one slip doesn't erase all the progress your brain has made in healing those 4 months.
Think about it bro. You are at your best right now! I promise you if you can break through the 1-week-2-week cycle of resets you can aim for heights you would’ve never imagined before. 150 days, 200 days, and one day we could all stop for good.
Hi DesertExplorer, I was on a PMO streak for about 3-4 years, then I relapsed when I was going through some difficulty. I think the reason I relapsed is I never truly let go of pornography. I was searching for pornography through trying to find a partner that would be a replacement for porn. However, I realised I don't need porn/a replacement for porn. What I need is a loving relationship. Once we have realised deeply that we don't need pornography anymore the path is a lot easier. Keep on going and have faith!
Hi DesertExplorer, you made a great progress. Dont give up. We can only beat this addiction for good if we learn to get up again and move forward courageously after we have had a relapse. By the way, I had exactly the same experience as you, my streak lasted 5 months and I fell 3 days ago. Take courage.
You just accomplished a 4 month streak, that sounds pretty good in my books. Everyone makes mistakes, now it's time to learn from the mistake, dust yourself off and carry on.
