Anyone with a severe addiction…how did you recover?

First of all, I want you to take the Sexual Addiction Screening Test. You can find it here.

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/sexual-addiction-screening-test.346839/

My score is 18, incredibly high. I'm really wondering if you can beat my score. I consider myself to be severely addicted like you are mentioning. And I don't want to get into all the stuff I've gone through while seeking relief. But I do know that God is bigger than all of this. And I do believe that He'll lead you to the all the right paths to healing. As long as you keep seeking and never give up, ever. I really do believe this. And it's completely worth it.

 

I'm in a similar boat, been addicted for 20+ years. I also live alone so I know how hard it is to resist. 3 days is usually my limit before the urges start taking over and it all seems like too much of a conscious effort.

 

Only a 17? Rats! I was about ready to crown you the new king of NoFap. Lol!

Anyways, there are quite a few 17's on this forum. I know of 19's and 20's from other communities. Just waiting for some to be revealed here in time.

But yeah, don't be discouraged. Don't lose hope. I've had a lot of therapists scratch their head with my behavior. A lot of them just didn't understand how to help me. I've had to search for a lot of unique tools to get me to a better place.

Speaking of tools, are you going to a support group? SAA, SLAA, CR? That would be a good start. I'm sure you want to see more than single digits of sobriety before relapse.

Anyways, I'm so glad you're still there. Never give up, ever.

 

You nailed it when you said "The smart phones and constant alone time make it too easy."
You need to change your lifestyle, find a way not to be alone. I suffer from being alone most of the day. I work out of my house and it sucks, I'm on the PC all day and have little interaction with people for a face to face meeting. Realizing how easy it is for me to go to a porn site, I am doing everything to keep busy and interact with other people. Try the app meetup.com, it's a way to find people and do things you enjoy, go to a gym, go to a pub, go to a support meeting for alcoholics anonymous and learn how they fight their addiction to alcohol. Addicts have the same problems no matter what they are addicted to, and most addicts find a support group of people is what helps them beat the addiction.

 

I took that test and got 13. So not as bad as some I guess.

 

I’m a 21

 

Stop it. Lol!

 

Seriously, took it and got a 21.

 

Speaking of smart phones, I have Covenant Eyes installed. And it's a great help. It even comes with a decent porn blocker. But here's the thing, what I do is not as important as what's going on in my brain.
So I take a very close watch on where I allow my eyes and mind to roam. My porn and MB are simply extensions of uncontrolled eyes and free-racing mind. If I don't deal with my inner man (lust and fantasy), my brain's toxicity level will continue to rise. By the time I'm typing in that nasty search to find a PSub, it's already too late for me. I keep my toxicity level low by saying "No" to the only look or thought that matters, the first ones. It's easier for me to say "No" to the first one, then it is to the second, or the third, or the 5th, or the 8th. Do I do this perfectly? No. But I'm winning significantly more battles than I'm losing in the area of lust and fantasy. And thus, I'm going to win this war. But if I keep losing battle after battle after battle with lust and fantasy, I'm going to lose this war.
My trick is that I don't let my addict out of its cage. If I don't give myself permission to think about it, I'm not going to crave. If I don't give myself permission to check out all the women in my view, I'm not going to lust.

And if I don't lust, I'm not going to crave
And if I don't crave, I don't cave.
Game over. I win.

 

This one: https://psychology-tools.com/test/sast

 

Wait, that's not the right test I was referring to

 

LOL
I know guys here who scored higher than me.

 

Yeah, you took the wrong test. I just took the one you referred to, and I scored 36

 

I cut myself off from the internet for four months and I feel more detached from porn than I ever have before, you could try that if you're really serious about this. It's not my longest streak but if I'm being honest, on all the other streaks I still felt like I was just merely abstaining, I still couldn't accept the idea in my mind that I'll never watch it again. This time it feels different but I know not to be overconfident, if I start to feel myself wavering I will drop the internet again, I have no problem doing this.

What this has all made me realise though is that at the heart of it I'm a total sex/woman addict, just one who has funnelled it all into porn up to now. I really don't think I can change this, I can suppress it but I can't just make it disappear. I'm actually ok with this though, anything is an upward step from porn.

I scored 16 by the way but some questions were a bit awkward to answer given my lack of real life sexual experiences to this point.

 

En mi experiencia de casi 19 meses sin pmo, te puedo decir que no hay una fórmula mágica, es solo aceptar que tienes una adicción y que te haces daño, tu cerebro está muy estresado provocado por la pmo, yo lo corte de golpe y pues al principio fue difícil, y con consecuencias no muy buenas, pero en el tiempo son más los beneficios que he recibido que estoy contento, aún sigo en recuperación y toda mi vida seré un exadicto que puede recaer, mi día a día para mí es una bendición que trato de disfrutar, aún me dan síntomas feos que van y vienen, percibo que mi cerebro aún le falta por recuperarse, quizá aún un 10%, deseo que te recuperes y ten mucha fortaleza en el proceso saludos

 

Well there you go. You’re the master now!

 

I scored a 14 on the one you originally referred to.