Anyone who lost their virginity in their 30s: how did you do it?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by himmelstoss, Nov 3, 2015.

  1. rabbitz

    rabbitz Guest

    I am 25 and still a virgin, a few years ago I've lived with room mates with toxic behaviors - filled with drugs, alcohol and one of them in particular would annoy the heck out of me, constantly bringing his new ex-girlfriends that would always break up with him a few weeks/months later and leave him depressed and crazy.

    One time he brought this one chubby girl that used him and manipulated and would have sex all the time, none stop, that's all they did - like mutual masturbation, it was right next to my room and I yelled at them to stop and then they go out to take a 'break' and they try to walk slowly thinking I am sleeping and I told them I am not sleeping and you both need to stop and I am tired of this, he got 'bummed out' and I told him I don't give a shit, its done if I am here this isn't happening. And that's the guy that would say 'never let girls use you like in the movies!!' and that's what would exactly happen to him everytime, right now he's dating his next ex-girlfriend and its going downhill already.

    I also have a friend that uses Tinder and prostitutes to have sex, he gets off one night stands and random prostitutes that cost a lot of money, he's full of ego and he's not interested in any relationship at all, he's even proud of the fact he manages to sleep with prostitutes and random women with no physical or emotional attachments.. I guess if you want that you can pretend you have a huge ego and a lot of self-esteem and put some hair jell or something and act cool to get masturbated by random women..

    I guess I am keeping myself a virgin until marriage, which I should start thinking more about in the next few months, from what I've seen people that go from one relationship to another in hopes of having sex all the time just end up in a disastrous emotional distress, but I also fear rejection and fear being hurt and fear going down their path of retardation and stupidity + when I do get married I don't want to be with a woman that's been with several dozen men and been fucked in every corner, I want to be with someone like me that has saved themselves for marriage and wants to fully commit to starting and raising a family, so I either get an arranged marriage by my family or somehow I meet a girl and things click and I propose and stuff.. Which leads me to the final self-observation

    I don't think I am great looking and I got a low of low self-esteem issues sometimes (Not always) and I have my m.a to finish, so after February I pretty much have no excuse not to look for a girlfriend/future wife, all the thoughts of 'I am unfuckable, undesireable, unloveable' and so on are nonsense!.
     
    Lazarus Shuttlesworth likes this.
  2. manfredswang

    manfredswang Fapstronaut

    188
    65
    28
    Im sorry but that is just hilarious.
     
    Rav70 likes this.
  3. Tobo

    Tobo New Fapstronaut

    4
    6
    3
    DO NOT LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO A WHORE! I did that at 18, you will get hooked and it WILL lead you into another spiral of sex addiction. I know it is tempting, but I really do not recommend it I started it at 18 and to this day, 16 years later, I still struggle with escort addiction, don't start! After that even if girls do want you they will not interest you because you will have had supreme hotties and trust me, it will fuck your capabilities to connect.
     
  4. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    968
    431
    63
    That's what I thought
     
  5. Zinc

    Zinc Fapstronaut

    205
    83
    28
    Dunno about that, I stopped fucking whores at 20. Yeah I banged some really hot strippers in my teens, but once you stop and you get into nofap average looking girls look good. But thats me.
     
  6. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

    510
    256
    43
    Just talk to women. Be honest, tell them you "haven't been with a girl in a long time" if you are embarassed about being a virgin. Just talk to women and you will eventually find one. And find one in your range. If you're a 2 on the 1-10 scale... you can go as high as a 4. If you're a 5 you can go from 3-7. Don't pick someone out of your range too much in the combination of looks, status, health, money, age scale. It's not perfect, but we are most comfortable with people in our own bracket. I just finished my masters and would try to get the hot 22 year olds. It didn't work even though several thought I was attractive. I was 8-10 years older than them. Life is too different. Concentrate on women 3-4 years from you in either direction. Don't go too old or too young (although there are exceptions). It'll make your life easier. Also, learn how to talk to anyone. I found that travel really chilled me out. When I took a trip to Thailand by myself, I had to make friends all the time and I learned a lot of social skills and learned how to talk to people. I didn't get laid, but the skills I learned were immense. Plus I now have something cool to talk about.


    I recommend travel, find a place that is cool to you. A pilgrimage of sorts that will change you. Also let go of the attachment to having sex.

    There was a young bull and an old bull on a hill overlooking a field of cows. The young bull said, hey dad, let's run down the hill and fuck one of them.

    Tho old bull said, no son. Let's walk down the hill slowly and fuck all of them.
     
    Safranski and volt2187 like this.
  7. Imtrying

    Imtrying Fapstronaut

    47
    18
    8
    I was over 40 & still a virgin. Not something I was happy with but at the same time, I didn't want to just hook up. I fantasized about it & watched tons of porn but never wanted to be casual. I was at peace with it.
     
  8. noexcuses

    noexcuses Fapstronaut

    875
    1,373
    123
    Can you expand a bit more on your situation? Have you ever dated women? Are you "putting yourself out there" to meet women? One thing I would not count on is meeting a girl through your friends (for example a female friend of you friend's girlfriend). I always thought this would happen for me, especially when one of my friends started dating someone new - but it never did. Also you have to take some risks. Even if it's difficult you need to meet and ask girls out if you hope to have sex. Personally I would make having a relationship your goal. The sex will naturally follow.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2015
  9. himmelstoss

    himmelstoss Fapstronaut

    968
    431
    63
    I'm really not putting myself out there at the moment, just working, saving my money, and planning to move out next year. Hopefully everything's going to be easier after that. No way I'm trading whatever freedom I have for sex though. Tat would completely defeat the purpose of everything I'm trying to do.
     
    Merlionno likes this.
  10. Lone Horizon

    Lone Horizon New Fapstronaut

    4
    6
    3
    I'm 41 and still a virgin myself, and I'll wait till I'm married to lose it. Right now, I'm focusing on recovery from PMO. If later on I should find someone, then so be it, but if not, then I just remain one till otherwise.
     
    Lazarus Shuttlesworth likes this.
  11. Zinc

    Zinc Fapstronaut

    205
    83
    28
    Jesus christ man, I feel bad and anxious about not having a partner at 22, but being a virgin at 22 would be too hellish for me. I admire your strength, how the hell can you not feel anxious about your situation at 41? You ain't getting any younger and half your life is pretty much done.
     
    phwrancesco likes this.
  12. Lone Horizon

    Lone Horizon New Fapstronaut

    4
    6
    3
    @Zinc LOL XD! Though half of my life is done, as you put it, there is still another half that I need to live. At this point in my life, I'm not anxious anymore about my virginity at 41 than when I was younger. What I want to do first is be free from PMO which I'm currently at day 46, surprisingly, and I'm happy. I think I can make the 90 day challenge and probably will shoot for 365 day one afterwards. So, as I see it, I still have something to look forward to. As far as women are concern, we'll see what happens, but I'm not going to hang my whole life on whether I get involved in a relationship or not. I'll moving forward in life with or without a girlfriend.
     
  13. Zinc

    Zinc Fapstronaut

    205
    83
    28
    Right, what do you do in life? You work or own a business? What's your hobbies?
     
  14. ChrisZorander

    ChrisZorander Fapstronaut

    5
    3
    3
    I'm 26 and a virgin. And this is probably going to seem stupid to a lot of you, but I want to have sex with someone I actually like, not some random drunk person I picked up in a bar who doesn't know shit about who I am. I haven't had a relationship, so I'm still a virgin, which I feel shit about. But I think I'd feel even more shit about myself if I had sex with someone I don't actually know or like just to not be a virgin anymore.
     
  15. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

    510
    256
    43
    It's not a bulletproof theory, just a general guide. Its a mix of stuff... looks, confidence, age, job and all that factor in. And my opinion. I'm much more relaxed around women who are achievable for me, and they range from a 6 to 9 on my personal scale. And to play the dirty old man card..... a 7 looks like a 9 when shes in your bed. Or as george carlin said... i never had a 10, but one night I had 5 twos.... i dont even know where I'm going with this. Too much coffee and too little sleep. Did you meet a girl to lose your virginity to yet?

    Sorry if I'm being obnoxious, I don't mean to be. I'm trying to be funny but I don't know how its coming across.
     
  16. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

    510
    256
    43
    Still theres an inbetween. There are some girls who like to be sexual without randomness, serious relationship, but more than friends with benefits. I guess its termed dating. I remember the virgin days, so much romance on the brain. Just go out and have a good time with girls and find one you like to be with. Remember to treat them with respect. And sometimes respect means fulfiling their more carnal desires. If you knew how many wiuld be willing to sleep with you now given the right circumatances and some conversation you'd be amazed. Women arent so difficult... but I guess it only took 31 years to figure out.... and 2 years of working on Nofap helped greatly.

    My point is... go out there and have fun with a girl. Whatever that means to you... i like walks in the park personally. If you're a virgin at 26 you need to get out of your own way... however easier said than done sometimes.
     
  17. Blake_1980

    Blake_1980 Fapstronaut

    70
    31
    18
    I feel like my virginity is growing back... Does that count?
     
    Rav70 likes this.
  18. BigPete89

    BigPete89 Fapstronaut

    30
    17
    8
    Why don't you just wait? wait for the right time and the right girl? why make a mistake now just to have sex, that you are going to regret later? Why don't you just try to find the right girl first and have sex later when you both are ready and it feels right? Your age has nothing to do with it. And if it makes you feel any better people start entering their physical and sexual prime in their 30's and into their 40's so you should have nothing to worry about. Trust me, I'm a Biologist :)
     
  19. Andrew0268

    Andrew0268 Fapstronaut

    510
    256
    43
    Wait what? Is this true? I thought we peaked earlier than that biologically.
     
  20. IGY

    IGY Guest

    As you are a biologist @BigPete89, perhaps you can show a link to the research that states this. Thanks. :)
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

Share This Page