ALL addictions are caused by one thing

You are good enough!! Don't let yourself forget that.

 

dope homie, really well said. It's so easy to get caught up in the sort of tertiary 'causes' of addiction without really heading to that deeper level. Right now, I really feel like I'm at a point were I'm trying to fix things externally, rearrange this, start doing things this way, stop doing that- we're it's sort of like this endless game of never being good enough. There's always another problem that hits to that underlying fear that just keeps you running and never satisfied, never able to just really relax into the moment and feel good enough. All this time I keep running around try to fix these things outside while all the while it's really gonna take this inward recognition of these fears.

Yo thanks for sharing dog. It got me thinking about this whole thing in a light I haven't thought of it in a while.
Best of luck to ya homie.

 

Good catch!

Fear and pleasure are both the oldest feelings and emotions the humans experienced. We are former cavemen after all. The primitive mind, or "reptilian mind", is there to help us survive. FEAR and PLEASURE are about the only things animals and primitive humans really cared about. Sad but true, even in 2016, the primitive mind in us is STILL acting just like 2 million+ years ago (sorry I failed evolution history class, so I made the 2 millions up).
Fear to die, to be eaten by a predator, to be beaten by a bully, to lose a job (fear to lose security), to under-perform in a job (fear to feel like shyte), to have an accident....and causes stress in our lives. Pleasure (which causes a dopamine release), on the other hand, caused many people to binge drink, to indulge on drugs, to over eat, to over spend, to be workaholics, to be known (to be Kardashianed LOOOLZ), to be keeping up with the Joneses, to watch porn, etc..

So our goal on this planet is to transcend our primitive mind fully...sounds like we need to be shaolin monks or running for the Dalai Lama title (or insert your ideal SAGE figure).

And to be honest, I think that a therapy of "primitive life" such as fishing and/or, hunting and/or camping are all ways to get away from actual life and re-connect to our inner-primitive person. I found that what humans are trying to achieve by camping and living on the land is basically a tentative to re-connect to their inner-primitive person. And I think that the outcome is telling us that we are all "beasts" that feel better around a camp fire cooking marshmallows and sharing spooky stories, on a lake fishing (and catching a meal) or in the woods hunting a deer (catching a meal).
Trying to sleep while hearing crickets has a very natural, a very "primitive" taste to it. We are just beasts in a civilian attire....lets not forget our past!

It's worth a try to analyze this!

 

Anxiety is at the heart of the modern condition. There is pressure on individuals to 'make it' at the material level. The reality is that not everyone can do this simply because societies are always triangular based.... equality is always an ideal, or an abstract idea. Then addictions serve to numb this sense of 'failure'. The way out is to find the consolations of philosophy and/ or religion. This helps to open up a critical space, where the 'realities' of the economic world are taken less seriously. The reality is everyone fails in the end.

 

Wise words @Buzz Lightyear . People can gain some "critical space" when they engage a mature religious and/or philosophical tradition.

Our culture tells us that the person who dies with the most stuff wins. How crazy is that?!

The fear of death & the fear that life has no meaning or purpose, are two biggies that we have to face.

Good post Tj720.

Strength!

T22.

 

Here's the thing about "failure". It's an invented concept. We made it up (by "we" I'm referring to humans as a whole). Success can be clearly defined: You reached a goal. But what does "failure" mean? You didn't reach the goal? Or does it mean You didn't reach the goal... this time? Who's to say you won't reach it in the future? Really, why do we waste our time worrying about failure?

One of the reasons we develop a fear of failure (and I've done this myself, many times) is because we allow others to tell us what our goals should be. Then when we don't succeed in reaching that goal by a certain time we consider ourselves to have "failed". It's completely ridiculous, because we've allowed others to tell us what we should be aspiring to in the first place, so often we don't have a real heart-desire to reach the goal in the first place. That means we'll probably "fail" more often than not.

We need to start defining our own purposes. Right now I'm trying to rid myself of the toxic poison BS that "success" is measured by how many women we can sleep with. I'm sure I'll find plenty of other examples of social conditioning to get rid of before I'm finished.

 

Great post! You're so right in that our primitive minds are often influencing us. This is particularly relevant with a porn addiction. For most of human existence, we've lived as hunter-gatherers. We had to hunt our food, pick our berries. Then we had to store then, because in the winter the bison would stop running and the berry bush would stop flowering. That instinct served us well for thousands of years. It helped us survive tribal wars, medieval wars, the Plague, famines and numerous other things.

The thing is, we live in a different world now. Instead of hunting our meat, we buy it at a supermarket. Instead of having to chase our lunch, we go to work to earn money to pay for it at our convenience. Yet our brains haven't had time to adapt. If you're still functioning on the lower, sub-conscious brain, you'll binge on things instinctively. That's why so many of us give in to over-eating. It's also why we binge on porn. Previously we had to take sex whenever we could get it because... well, the population of humans wasn't that great and there were so many things that could kill us. Now we can pay for sex if we want to, or we can download videos of other people having sex and try to simulate their actions.

What we need to do is wake up. To get control of ourselves, get out of our thoughtless habits.

I love camping too. Two particular nights of camping have stuck in my mind. One was in New Zealand, the other was in Japan (of all places). These were places that were so quiet, so far removed from civilisation that I could watch the moon rise over the mountains, and the ambience felt just like prehistoric Earth. A time with no Internet. No phones. No porn. Just peace. We are so far removed from that time, and not always for the better.

 

you seem like inteligent person.

The fear is the problem of everything for humans. It's sad as fuck. At least someone shared this info with me. Now I can learn.

Also I wish someday to have few sessions with good therapist, just to talk it out, and see how fucked up I am

 

Hmmmmnnn,
Ok. So today I hava known what causes my Pmo addiction. It is indeed fear. Fear of Failure(am a very bright student though), fear of shame, fear of rejection....

Thank you Mate for this Indispensable Thread. Kuddos to your therapist.

 

In addition, Action towards what you fear is the Only cure. Posponding what you fear Only makes it worse.