It has been 3 years that my ex broke up with me and I still miss her terribly. Not a single day passes without thinking of our times together and what I could have done differently. We had very nice moments together and even planned to get married. I had my faults I admit, I didn't always appreciated her enough at that time and I only wish I could go back in time and give her all the attention and love that I could give her. I had tried to reach out to her after the brake up and found she already had moved on and had a new boyfriend. I was devastated and she ended blocking me. I have no idea how she is doing now. What can I do to get over her? I also tried to find a new girlfriend but I haven't succeeded in that, and afraid I'll be alone forever while paying the price for my faults.
Amen amen I say to you: it's ok to still have feelings for someone years later. This person has changed, just like memories of home, you can never go back to your childhood as it was, you are like everyone-else stuck in the present. Still nostalgia is real and can help. Your past was real and your feelings too, even in the present. Before you can move on, you must figure out what calls you back into the past. I do not know you so it may be anything, but if you're anything like me: it's actually a form of escapism. Thinking about her and what you could have done to still be in heaven (though it never was) allows me not to think about my now completely distinct life. Still I recognize the happiest I ever was, was with her. That's not her fault though, it's mine and simply too, I could be even happier but I prevent myself from being so free, so validated, so biochemically on top of my game with critique, shame and poison (which honestly I did to myself even with her). Amen amen I say to you: before getting over her, you must get over yourself.
I was in the same situation, years passed and I was still thinking about how I could've done things differently. You just have to accept it and move on. Accept that that person is NOT the same as it was 3 years before, you are just craving for the beautiful moments that happened, and those are not coming back, they are just good memories and that's it. It has a lot more sense to just move on and forget that if she found another person really quick, it's not worth your time and pain. Don't worry about FINDING a new person, you are not going to find it if you are still damaged inside. Focus on yourself and see.
I would like to offer you a perspective from my angle, by telling my situation. I am 21 years old and soon turning 22 (still very young) and i have never had sex nor kissed nor had a romantic relationship with a girl (except when i was 8 but i was there a small child). And believe me bro, i have been yearning very long to make this happen. And i have some similar thoughts like you, too. There was a girl in high school. We were good friends and we could have been together, but i did not give myself the chance to love her. Because at that time, i did not find her beautiful enough. And i will not do this twice, i will be patient and appreciate a girl's beauty before avoiding her. So, what is the difference between your desire and mine? Almost none. Because i think that what we are truly dealing with is self-worth issues. I mean, how was it going in your life before you had met her? Did you feel miserable or happy? I trust in the future and Jesus Christ and God. We must fight and keep working on ourselves.
