A Woman sees me as sex object

Oh, and most importantly remember that the guy poops.

 

"What repulses me? Ignorance, arrogance and an undeserved sense of entitlement.
Once she thinks herself above all rest, just in terms of looks, not professional achievements or even personal growth, she goes lower on my scale." I'm more likely to think that I'm NOT good enough for them. Sense of entitlement? Ha! I WISH! My inferiority complex is wondering what it would even FEEL like to feel superior!

 

Thes

OK that is AMAZING.
I really love this reply, thank you!
But sometimes I only see handsome guys on the train, what then?

But I will try I really will. And yes I will approach first, keep going to meetup groups and go to some singles ones too. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

 

You can always fall at the other end of the spectrum.
Start with the most interesting, nice thing about you. It can't be physical.
Maybe you're reliable. Maybe you're friendly.
Hell, maybe you're even decent.

In this day & age where technology has adapted to serve our narcissistic habits, I think a bit of humility shows a LOT of character.
Meaning you don't have to think yourself as hot shit, just think of yourself as GOOD ENOUGH.

Whatever it is, I'm sure there's something you like about you.
Your face, your body, they must have nice qualities.
So make a list.

And read it every day until you start believing it.

I, for one, do not consider myself beautiful.
I know, objectively, I am quite attractive. When I was a kid, people would often ask my Mom
'What is it? a boy or a girl?' because I had my hair long.
Now I leave my hair long and after I shave, there's an attractive woman staring at me from the mirror.
Then I realize that's me.

I'm straight as it goes, but that's just a little reminder that perhaps, there's a little hidden narcissist inside of you.
Be warned:

a woman with an inferiority complex is an assured victim to all kinds of predators (sexual, energetic, you name it).
People are selfish beings.
Not all out there will treat you kindly IF you reveal how you feel about yourself.

So, for starters, I would suggest keeping that stuff sealed from the eyes of the public.
Remember, people will treat you as you treat yourself.

If you think you're trash, you will be treated accordingly.
No joke, here.

I was mistreated a bunch of times in my life. But I got up, dusted myself and kept going.
What I learned is that

People will only see what you allow them to see.

Once you get used to the so-called beautiful lie (when you established a positive image of yourself, but are NOT quite convinced) then you can appear confident.
People will treat you as a confident woman, even though deep down you are not.
They CANNOT READ MINDS (thank God!).

So trust yourself and always be working to be a better person.
Sure, what I want form my ideal woman is someone attractive but more than that, I want someone who evolves constantly so I can expand as well.
Together & separate, that is the destiny of a good relationship.

Have faith, there is a shadow out there for every tree.

 

god dammit lmfao

 

gross

 

dude this Darkstar guy can go from fullblown devil shit to saint sent from the highest sky in a matter of posts.

 

You should see me at parties

 

LOL! Well so far, I think he's pretty awesome.

 

I don't WANT a guy to like me for my looks, cos all I get told is "beauty fades"
I want guys to see things in me that DON'T fade.
It annoys me that for guys apparently getting girls is a skillset - skillsets you can have for LIFE. For women it's beauty, which we keep getting told is temporary so how freaking disempowering is that.

I want to be able to attract men REGARDLESS of my age. So I don't WANNA attract a man through my looks or through JUST my looks.
I DO have more to offer than just that.
And I wanna find ways to LEARN and USE the skillset! Something that NEVER fades!
Like, it's hard not to feel - as a woman - like my ability to attract men is finite?

Whereas for men at whatever age, they can still attract someone?

Cos THAT is part of what makes me feel FRANTIC to find someone before I run out of time. It's healthier to feel like i have the all the time in the world and that I CAN focus on other stuff in life and it's gonna happen in the perfect time and - for example - if he don't get his cute butt into my life into I'm 50 or 60 that it COULD still happen.

if I was a GUY, I KNOW I'd believe that!

that it could happen at ANY age.

I wanna be able to believe that as a WOMAN.

Even though society tells us the opposite over and over again.
SCREW society - seriously!

 

What I've learned about myself and women, after dating for the first time in over 20 years (yep, I'm divorced), is that we all need to look for the "right" person for ourselves. Someone that gels with you, that just clicks with you. I'm a real believer in that at this point, *almost* to the point of looking for my "soul mate." I'm not sure about the one person in the universe that's right for you, because I believe that can be a lot of people, but ***your significant other should be significantly right for you***. Oh, and if it's too hard (that's what she said!), it's the wrong girl/guy. You'll know pretty quickly if the other person is right for you or not. If you can't get along, you argue too much, you don't have enough in common, then that girl/guy isn't the right one for you. Birds of a feather flock together. And I do think sexual compatibility is certainly a factor too. I think knowing a little about the other's love languages (from the book The Five Love Languages), and how they like to express their love/affection, can help, but I'm really curious at this point if I should sign up for eHarmony just to find out what the "twenty one questions of compatibility" is all about, then come up with some way to grill all newcomers to see how they match up with me...

Women (and men) that are older can still be very sexy. There's this one lady that's close to 65 or so that's extremely appealing to me (I'm almost 50). Great personality, and I've danced with her several times in a singles meetup group. If I were 15 years older, I'd be all over this single lady. I don't understand how she's still single. She's in pretty good shape, but she's just attractive to me (heavy women are a major turn off for me). Just a lot of appeal somehow. It's not all about age. Older women can be extremely sexy, and this woman would never consider herself "sexy" (I don't think), but her feminine wiles are still hard at work on me, even though she's a senior citizen! It honestly surprises me (I'm not normally into "grannies", lol), but IMO we just somehow kind of click. So, Tess, shallow Hals and jerks may talk about age, but real guys that are worth your time won't consider age to be a problem. If you're with a decent guy, you're gonna both be getting older together. Big age discrepancies can be awkward, but it's never a problem IMO if you're close to the same age. But, for me, the key is to always at least stay in shape. Call me shallow, but heavy chicks are a pretty big turn off to me. You can almost always do something about your weight. I certainly do. I'm 6' and 190 pounds and hit the gym regularly, and pretty much expect my significant other to as well. My current girlfriend is athletic and fit, and has a better body than me. I kind of stared when I first met her, and still do. She's a "hottie" IMO, and that's quite attractive to me. Hope that doesn't make me sound like a pig, but just being honest. Girls like "hot" guys too...

So, this is just one regular guy's contribution to this hijacked thread. Sorry for the long, but hopefully interesting, post. When it comes to putting some women on a pedestal, I'm guilty - yep I do that too. A really attractive woman just takes my breath away, sorry. I'm human. My mouth hits the floor and I'm really bad about just gawking. After I drool a bit, haha, jk, I'm sure I have no chance with Wonder Woman. And, honestly, I'm not looking at her body when that happens. I'm locked in and mesmerized by her face/eyes. I've connected visually with some women, where we've just locked eyes, but she's staring back at me too, and sometimes I like to think she's just as interested in me. But I almost always freeze up and don't say anything. Bad, bad, bad. Like Darkstar says, it's 1's or 0's. And if I'm interested, say something, for Pete's sake. Some dating self help audible books I've been listening to say that you've just simply got to put yourself out there and take some risks. It gets easier when you get blown off (no, not that way...) and helps you to "practice", so to speak. It helps you in talking to girls down the road. I think that's from "The Dating Playbook for Men: A Proven 7 Step System to Go From Single to the Woman of Your Dreams."

So, from a guy's perspective, I'm extremely flattered/interested when a woman steps up and talks to me. Now, sometimes, the time may not be right - maybe I'm dating and not interested in cheating on someone I'm seeing. But from a guy's perspective, I'll always be at least courteous to a girl, even if I have no interest in them. I think I need to remember the same thing when it comes to those women that make my mouth hit the floor. If they're not nice to me, then, well, I'll have no interest in them anyway. You just gotta talk to them to see if there's mutual interest. Because, after either of you initiates contact, the nervous energy evaporates, or at least some of it does for me, then you can decide if you're compatible from there...