[365-CHALLENGE] THE THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS CHALLENGE !

Check-in day 113 of 365.

 

101/365

 

Day 10.5/365

 

Day 14/365. 2 weeks down

 

A different angle I sometimes take is a thought experiment - suppose there was someone I really admired and at one point in dialogue the topic came up, and after being asked he said that he has adopted a strict policy against provocative female images. Would my reaction be You fool!, or my admiration be lessened at all? Would his lovely wife express horror or any sane objections, or would this realization about his character cause her ever to think did I always want to marry a man like that? How about his children - would this trait mar the image they may have had of their role model?

A few considerations that come up in the internal tribunal (obviously not a complete list):

• Was this intentional or accidental - keeping in mind that even most accidental exposures are foreseeable, what were my active roles and decisions in this scene? Is any of this a familiar script or pattern of behavior? Do I think that this is something random that passively happens to me by chance?
• Duration. If a minute of my time was worth only a dollar, would I basically have just lost a couple pennies in the sofa, or did I just throw out the window enough money to take my future wife out for a very fine and romantic evening? How much value do I actually place on my time, less or more? If the answer is less, wouldn't I want to change that if I could? Why can't I?
• Am I raising or lowering or redefining my standards? How do I feel about this? Have I given myself a free pass for this at any time(s) in the past, resolving to do better? Do I want to do better now or do I admire the standards I have just now endorsed?
• Is what I looked at honestly not something similar to anything that may have led to M'ing or edging in the past?
• If I'm watching a clip from a movie, why am I not bothering to watch the whole thing? If I am watching a full movie, did I check for content first? Do I have better things to do?
• Is it just coincidence that I only do this when nobody else is around? The future wife or children example - if they happened to silently be looking over the shoulder, would they really think oh, he's just a connoisseur of 'art'? Am I embodying now the values of the man not only that I wish to be seen as, but that I want to actually be? If not now, when?

The following clip is a metaphor for the kind of conversation that I've had to loosen my collar, sit down and have with myself. Instead of how to get the gangster Al Capone, it's beating the enemy within - the Chicago way!


www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFWfOBfTQLg

 

30 days clean!

 

Well done! Yours is the first post I've seen on here today & it inspired me. I haven't been PMO free for more than 28 days in years. Keep it going.

 

Day 2 for me. It might not seem much, even to me but the difference this time is that I am present on these forums.

 

Day 70.

 

Suffered a major relapse yesterday after losing some money in a forex trade. I was very frustrated and also became anxious. I watched porn from 11pm to 2 am. And let me just say it felt so good to escape and live in a fantasy world temporarily forgetting what was troubling me. Reality has dawned on me this morning. I am groggy, tired and once again feelings of self pity and depression have rushed in to take the place of optimism and hope that I once had. I am very disappointed with myself. It is not the end of the world that I lost some money. I have a place to stay, food to eat, a warm bed to sleep on and in college almost through with my degree. Yet, at that moment, it felt like the end of the world.

This is brutal. I am struggling to see the bright side of this relapse, I mean the lesson. Once I orgasmed yesterday, it felt like I came out of some trance or "zombie mode". When I woke up this morning, I was curled up in a foetal position scared to get out of bed and face the world.

I need to stay clean today and regather my thoughts and get back on the journey. I fear that I might binge with the depressive thoughts that are running in my head right now.

 

well,yes i understand what you are saying.
At first the right beliefs needs to be repeated to become part of ourselves. (the power of subconscious mind is a good book)
but after a time that your body have become your mind,the pure mind that it has no negative and harmful thoughts like angry, hatred, false outlook on women's body, (men's search for meaning and as a mans thinketh is a great book)at this point this body have a capability to be changed easily and quickly just by increasing your knowledge and changing your belief ,becuase the addicted body don't respond well to thoughts since its learning center and its focus center is sick.)
by saying boundaries my mean was not to avoid ourselves from enjoying things because i reach to the point that i see no joy and pleasure in sexual stuff even with the most hottest one ,say ,i don't know Marilyn Monroe ,because i reach to the point that i know there is no real pleasure with sex ,it is just a momentary physical pleasure it is the lowest level of enjoyment and pleasure,the thing that makes it sounds very enjoyable is the rumination of this thoughts in our mind that in the long run makes one addicted and deteriorate his intellectaul ability and understanding by releasing a lot of pseudo dopamin and another subsequent hormons that end up in changing one's brain and this brain then chenge the outlook and feeling of that person for a same situation, i geneuinly mean this .
this happened to me after working and pondering a lot on my atittude and lookout towards things and also a lot of writings.
at the end i came to the conclusion that if one really wants to gain mastery and control of his or her subconscious mind and his body, one needs to know that he should clarify and put the framework on his sexual part of life(like we know that we should not use meth or narcotics or drugs ,this kind of boundaries) in a way that i think it is wise to choose one love or one woman for the rest of our life and then he should know that he should do sex on purpose with his wife and not for pleasure ,by saying on purpose my mean is to have a baby,to deepen the relationship,use physical sex as a drug and ..but not become addicted to it.
in this way your body (reward system) learn to act goal-oriented base ,your body and your subconscious will no longer be influenced or manipulated by seeing woman or by their tricks , even in relationship with woman just pay attention to their character and their inner world and also their intention of communication and not their curves or ,,,after a time the effect of triggers on your body will vanished and deteriorated and that triggers will no longer be trigger for you.
2-and another point is that ,as time goes by the promises you made to yourself is becoming deem and foggy which i am aware of it ,the solution is that one needs to know we are learning in every minute in a daily basis,so open your mind for learning and hold it open always,then one needs to relax his body in every single minute and free his mind from thoughts in every single minute("peace is every step" is a good book)
at first yes ,there will be cravings base on the habit of the body,and also arousal that contribute to shutting down your rational thinking centers of your brain and it contributes to fogging your mind ,but i experienced it man, one's need to handle that situations and push himself toward doing the things that are related to his goals. at this point the sensitivity of your brain toward the wrong things will decrease (i no longer have arousal myself )
it is like a nicontin addiction that one's brain has to tea ,once he avoid drinking there will be some headaches because the natural neurotrasmitters was replaced by tea's mineral and after a time that body notice there is no tee it starts to release its own natural neurotransmitter
any way

in sum, body needs to be inhibited from doing the things that release pseudo dopamine and the images that poison his or her mind and at the same time ,for taking complete control of body and subconcsuios mind,he needs to set a goals ,in another words put a framework in the sexual part of his or her life. mine is choosing one and best one and focusing on building a good life and then sticking with the manner and lifestyle that to have sex just on purpose ,and not for pleasing ourselves or having joy. in this way our body and our reward system learns to act on purpose and also based on long term benefits.
as i feel that my thoughts,body and subconscious mind have become calm and obey and follow my orders ,their not wild anymore and not invasive to other women pants. it is a power that you sit near a woman and your thought in your mind be in your control to which direction it goes,and it is the way that we can write our own destiny and feed our brain with desired things and to gain a mastery over desired skills by our body. otherwise our body and subsequently we would be the puppet of women or environment stuffs that were devised to attract us to themselves to wast our money and time on them.
And perhaps the most important thing is to have a goal ,to focus your mind and body on it,and work on it to achieve it ,like d getting a specialty in one thing or learning new athletic sport and it is in this way that we can achieve the level high performance body and thrives our potentials that are latent.
i myself passed a university entrance exam with a very high score and i got accepted in a great major,it thrive my potential but the thing that prevent me from reaching my careers acme and it contribute to deteriorate my intellectual and physical ability that i didn't aware of was sexual fantasies and porn that had become and addiction for my body and hopefully i now know my problem and the reason why i was performing under my standards and also i was feeling sick when i was away from fantasizing ,or why my heart beating and breathing quality was not ok,even my speaking was shaky and it made me feel bad then i didn't participate in seminar for presenting my great ideas,i didn't know at that time and i thought that it is the the capacity of my body and i didn't know why i lost my ability to understanding deep perceptions and memorizing them and also being good in gym.
now i am glad that i have found the knowledge and how to succeed.

I say to you my friend ,dr Jekyll that you have a great potential like Michael Jackson like steve jobs like Elon musk that you need to find them and use them.


God bless you.

 

one of the major problem is the thing you mentioned, so learn to relax yourself in every single minute from now on in every situation ,and the fact that we are always learning at any moment in a daily basis.
escaping from reality (toward drug and porn or fantasy) is not the way it makes you weaker and the problem is still exist and will be increase.
peace is every step is a worth book my friend.
now you have one more experience than before the relapse which you don't need to worry about trivial things,the most important thing is to have a good healthy body and feeling with yourself then it enable to do great in real world.
God bless you.

 

30

 

Day 3

 

Check-in day 114 of 365.

 

I commend each and everyone of you today is a fantastic day date 96 for me hitting the triple digit on Saturday of 100 towards 120 180 275 / the absence contract between me and my wife or 365? I'm going to take this thing as far as it's going to go I understand that people have their own little plans and I've used all these tips they are just tips don't remember you control your brain you control your body with your mind your little puppet dick filled with dopamine is not an excuse to go backwards. Everybody has their own little forms of recovery the name of the site is nofap let's try to honor that I could never even consider a relapse right now because I've actually promised myself that I would have to put Icy Hot on it and slap it with a ping pong paddle before I did that that is commitment what is yours? Me and my wife are doing hard mode pmo and we're doing it to get rid of lots of bad behaviors the particular me I've come off my ADHD meds doing this, my antidepressant doing this, I've lost 16 of 30 lb so far my goal is to get down to 195 and stay there. Per God I only want to have sex with my wife I don't want to masturbate I will not masturbate I don't want to look at porn I will not look at porn I only want to have orgasm with my wife as it should be in the eyes of God. When God decides and my wife chooses is when shall we shall resume. If anyone would like to I would like to open a forum for hardmode pmo only on WhatsApp but beware only do it if you're committed if not well reading around you'll see a lot of people going around on the nofap roller coaster that's far let's not?
https://chat.whatsapp.com/0QligykLpA2FOBPYwWUW1e

 

Welcome buddy...

 

Check in day 3/365

 

Day 141/365

 

13/365 completed