35 and Older Accountability Group

Thanks! Realizing that often it seems impossible to feel motivated but it never is impossible. it feels that way it just means the goal needs to be broken down into smaller steps, focus on that and move on to the next. Regarding PMO goal, I think i have to focus on no P for now. Yeah,Ie I did when using P as well. Feel like M isn't great, but P is like crack.

 

That's awesome to hear and motivating that it does get easier. Have to keep in mind that when we work on our PMO goals, we not only help ourselves but often motivate others.

 

Hi it’s getting difficult each day but I’m confident. I’m fighting my temptations and I know I’ll overcome soon I’ll be one week and then who knows. Maybe a month. So help me God!

 

Today I struggled a bit with wanting to explore in the internet...my mind was rationalizing from the standpoint that I am now PMO free for 94 days and I "can handle" it...lies and more lies....lol. i turned on my P blocker and never look back...I feel that the urges are weaker with every decision to live a life free of P and M.

 

checking in late today

 

Check in thursday !

 

Check in day 47! Got into a chat yesterday with a former fling of mine - this all almost turned into sexting on his part. But then I told him I'm on nofap and wished him luck and blocked him. I'm not happy for not holding my ground and going to bed later than usual because of this. And I really sensed he was addicted to P - all this sexting and talks about fantasies taken from P. Brainless talk. I deserve better than that and am not going to fill my recovering brain with all this bs.

 

Fell off the wagon but trying again. I'm try no porn instead for 7 days.

 

You’re strong!! Keep on track you’re not that far from 60 days!! That’s awesome. No feeling is as great as feeling of freedom.

 

I agree!!!
At the same time I think the whole porn is a revolution too. It makes sex so much more normal. Think about 30 years ago. It wasn’t around like this. It was taboo still a lot and has advantages. But now all there is is out and in everyone’s mouth. I think it will change humankind and sex will become way more open and closer and more natural as a result. Of course all the perversion in beteeen is not good but what we go through

 

Spot on you two (@emanuel_free and @fleurette ). A P addled brain is not what you want around you... especially when that is what you are working on to escape yourself. I think we can all relate to the P fantasy driving your desire, but it's not real. It’s often not intimate, and it’s not the connection that people often want. It’s what thought we’ve wanted after seeing it... but what we saw wasn’t real.
Freedom... yes that’s the goal.

 

Day 35 checking in.
Night #5 in a hotel... away from the family. But keeping strong despite temptation and late nights. Must admit last night was a bit more of a struggle, and to be honest I’m not sure I have identified what the trigger was... apart from just being alone, and stressed with work.
Tonight, I’m managing it by being on this site ... checking in... and probably to be followed with a mediation session and then sleep (hopefully!!)

What are my thoughts at the 35 day stage?

• Female interactions are so much easier now than 35 days ago. For a number of reasons; confidence, not fantasising or objectifying (appreciating maybe!)
• Feeling of guilt has lowered so much. That weight being lifted improves in a whole range of areas.
• Confidence and clarity of thought has been a big shift especially in the last few weeks.
• All this extra time that has been freed up by not wasting it on P. Excellent!
• P still tries to enter my head, to trick me to look... so vigilance is still required, and may be for years to come.

One big thing I realised earlier on tonight, I am so glad I found NoFap and the PornFree podcast. The reboot journey has been amazing so far, and the help on the site and in groups like this, and success stories out there are inspirational. Thanks all.

 

Check in friday

 

Checking in day 48. Yeah I know I might bump into guys who pmo from time to time and I used to as I was one of the kind as well - but I now don't want to be around them anymore. I can sense btw them very clearly.

 

Well put! I am struggling today. Tendency is there strong. I knew it I approach the day 9-13 which is now a build up that asks for release...I will have to be strong next days

 

Thank you ! Yes you’re totally right. I still have to be stronger on some areas of my life. I know I’ll get there. I’m almost there.

 

It's not only freedom - it's being self-confident and self-conscious enough to start living actual life and not just existing surrounded by fantasies - I used to live in fantasy land so I know what I am talking about. I also noticed I have recently gained a few very close female friends, both younger, my age and older than me, and I don't feel the need to prove my worth to men or to people in general. I don't feel the need to answer texts like "hey how ya doin'? wanna come at my place tonight? send me some pics" etc because I feel just repulsed by this type of energy - sucking me back into black hole. It is courage to actually talk to people and to be open to them without playing P scenarios in your mind.