35 and Older Accountability Group

Ugh
So I've been spring cleaning parents old shit that has been in storage shed for ages (lots of photos, memories, good and bad) and I came across a couple 1980s copies of playboys out of nowhere (must have been fathers). Despite knowing better I flipped through them before throwing them away.
2 hours later I can't get the images out of my mind and completed an M/o session. Didn't journal, didnt come here first. Didnt go exercise. All of which were coming in clutch before this. I'm Disappointed I didn't even try to stop myself. Was caught really off guard, but can't accept any excuses. I was so happy to be at 14 days and then I mindlessly, like a zombie, threw it all away. I consider this a full reset since I both peaked and then later acted upon it. It's strange for someone like me who cane to this addiction through internet to get hit by something so old-school....
Start building again, one day at a time. Just need to work harder on self kindness....

 

Checking in

 

I'm familiar with the zombie mode. I have even used this phrase many times over the years, because you could become like a robot or a zombie and undo all the good you are trying to do.
I feel like it's like a person who has an attachment to cocaine. When they don't have it, they're generally okay, but as soon as they get a chance to try it, their mind remembers and tries to hand you over to the zombie. The zombie's mind want to feel the "buzz" it knows will happen when the two are mixed. Even though you know it's not what you want, your mind doesn't care (is agnostic) and keeps looking for that short-term rush you're looking for.

You are not alone my friend.

 

Me too. Not in the group but still like to keep tabs.

I’m hoping some recent clarity and motivation will help - which is a trigger for me lol.

 

Day -4. Checking In.

 

Checking in. Things are not the easiest right now, having some inner battles. All good on the PMO front.

 

Checking in...still going strong and on a roll currently

 

Slipped yesterday

 

Failed again today l.

Reset

 

Checking in - is it normal that after a while of no PMO you get less random sexual arousal? Like you can go a whole day without getting a random erection or getting aroused by naughty thoughts? Seems to be what's happening to me at the moment and unsure if it's a good thing or not! In a way it feels good as I can focus on other things....Thanks brothers......

 

When I did my 60 day streak I went 3 weeks without any urges happening. Even now, I can have up to a week of no urges after resetting. I think eventually it just becomes normal, assuming you don't have anything triggering you.

 

For me, getting aroused is a good thing when it's an opportunity to connect with a real person. I'm married, so right now that person is my wife, but I feel like it would be the same if I was single.

When it happens randomly, because of my own thoughts, or something I saw, then it's just a distraction and I'm better off without it.

 

Checking In. Day 7

 

Updated counter. Went on a binge Thursday pretty much all day; . One day under my belt, hope to get some more.

 

I’ve had a string of resets the last week and feel terrible about it….sometimes the strength of these urges that come out of nowhere is frightening. Not helped by not being happy in my job. I’m basically shut in a cubicle all day with minimal human contact, but it’s all I can get right now.

 

Check in 114 days!
One week and i m gonna hit 4 months after a year strike that stopped just for one day.
That means
365 days,
then 1 day PMO
then 114 days and keep going
;-)

 

You are inspiring us!