21 months PMO free: I became and adult

Today I celebrate my 21st month of PMO free life.
When we turn 21 years old we become adults and we are responsible for what we do from that moment on. This is what I feel today.
After 21 month of reboot I really can say that during this months I have became an adult. I am 52 years old , nevertheless I just became an adult only now. I struggled with the addiction during 40 years of my life, trying to hide all my problems behind PMO , avoiding becoming an adult
Staying in PMO make us stay as eternal teenagers. We resist to grow up instead of moving forward. We prefer to stay leaving a deceitful life because it looks more comfortable. We know we are leaving a lie but we pretend to be OK with it. We become Great Pretenders, as the song says. After 21 month I'm not blind anymore. I know that PMO is deceitful. I know it's a lie. I know I have been lying to myself . But I also learnt how to recognize the enemy, It's a treacherous one because wants to make us believe that it's a real friend. We got so used to live with him.
After 21 month I still got some urges once a week. When I feel stresses at my job or I have a problem at home it reappears again . I hear the song of the sirens : -"Do it one more time dude, it's not that bad, it will make you feel better. "
This last month was particularly tough for me. My wife started her menopause and she doesn't feel like having sex with me. This is a new challenge for my reboot. Other guys can fap to release when they cannot have sex. I do not have that luxury. I'm a former PMO addict. I need to endure, resist the pain, in order to keep living a free life. The type of freedom I have been living for the last 21 months. I have decided that any stress or pain is much better than getting back to that shitty life. I'm not coming back to PMO. That is my past. No room for that shit in my future.
Thank you once again to all my fellow Fapstronauts who helped me during the past 21 month to get to where I am today. For those who are starting the challenge remember Freddie Mercury : " this is not a bed of roses, this is not a pleasure cruise ,I consider it a challenge in front of the whole human race, and I will not gonna lose. "
Keep on fighting
Fercho

 

Thank you very much for your support @Harry Maclad . Using stress in a positive way is great. You will find you have much more energy to workout, run, ride bicycle or any other thing you want to do
Fercho

 

Thank you very much @AppyB , i am glad my post had inspired you.
You are right, we only live once and we need to try to make this life as good as we can.
Which is funny because YOLO was the excuse I used to watch porn and hire male escorts and hooked up like crazy with hundred of guys while I was "under the influence " of PMO. I lived such a promiscuous life , even being married with the most wonderful wife.
I feel guilty now about the shitty things I have done to her.
I have promised myself to be the best husband I can and try to compensate her for so many years of neglecting her.
Valentine Day is a good day to try to do that, this is the first Valentines in years that I can focus just in her and not in my fantasies and PMO
Keep on fighting
Fercho

 

Stay strong @dhw87 . It looks hard, specially the first few months. But if you got to 21, you can make it happen
Did not lower your guard
Fercho

 

Thank you @DbArcher , I am glad this encourage you to keep fighting for your own reboot

 

Thank you @chuka

 

Thank you @Smartboyj , I am glad you found my post interesting!

 

You will @Smartboyj , it just require being stronger than the addiction, and understanding what makes us feel weak and relapse.
It is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.

Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take the NoFap Academy course if you can afford it. The course is great but the best value are the weekly video calls with @alexander (the creator of NoFap and NoFap Academy) and Mark Queppet, where you can chat with them in real life and listen to other guys's stories and problems too.

I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
Let's keep on fighting

Fercho

 

6 months is great @Strength And Light . Is it not amazing how we grow up so fast when we can get rid of the PMO deceitful life we were living?
Good job, man!
Keep on fighting
Fercho

 

My wife went away on vacation for three days with some friends. This is a big challenge for my reboot.
In the past, when she left me alone I always " took advantage " to have a feast of PMO, random hook-ups and hiring many escorts ( some times more than one at a time).
I spent hours watching porn and MOing until I was exhausted and had nothing else to ejaculate. I used to be hours in the chat rooms or the hook up Apps, leaving and reading messages until I got a date. Most of the times the meetings were very disappointing, usually met guys that had nothing to do with the pictures they posted, or even guys who never showed up.
This time is different. I have been sober for 21 months and I am not planning to relapse. It may seems tempting, with all the house just by myself for three days. The Gremlin soon started talking inside my head: " why not to take advantage of bing alone? What do you think your wife is doing with 8 friends in a beach resort? Come on, let's have some fun! Just once, after 21 months it will not harm you! "
But I know this is not true. I do not trust the Gremlin. He has deceived me so many times in the past, promising the paradise, but just delivering hell.
I have all my alert alarms tuned on.
I know my weak points and know how to avoid them.
When I arrive home, I stay downstairs with my notebook. I will just go up to my bed when I want to sleep, no notebook nor TV or other devices in the bedroom.
I will go out with friends every night, so I am not too much by myself at home.
I will come back and go directly to sleep.
If I got an urge I need to get out, go somewhere with people.
If it is too late, I will meditate or practice Tai Chi until the urge is gone.
In case of an emergency I will text my AP.

I have confidence in myself, this is one more step in my reboot and I will win
Fercho