I am married for 1.5 years and I have a baby. I was a hard-fapper as long as I remember myself. When I was having sex with my wife who, by the way, is beautiful and super hot, also very caring and affectionate, I had to imagine lesbians or other girls to be able to ejaculate. Some days were so awful. I did not get erection so I had to blame it on some bad circumstances like fatigue. Then I would just seclude myself in the dining room, browse some porn, opening them tab by tab and fapping. After having my dose of brain fog, shame and anxiety, I would go and sleep scolding myself for lack of stong will. I never believed that real sex can be so refreshing. When I had artificial sex with my wife, I was getting headache and weakness. Sometimes my wife would feel so bad when craving for sex. So two months ago I decided to take back my life. At that time I started reading ''The Power of Now'' by Tolle. The book really opened my eyes wide. I really never adhered to some programs like abstaining myself from fapping for 90 days or some hard mode unfapping periods. I just needed time to pull myself together, to understand that all those fantasies were fake and as a breadwinner I had to be a role model for my daughter. I love her a lot. So I did not masturbate for 30 days. I had many bad moments. I had stormy cravings and my dick was in pain. But I never knocked off my course. Why do that then feel bad? I learnt to face the problems and to solve them. So after 30 days on the day 31 I had sex with my wife at Christmas night. I was like a beast. I never thought sex can be so blissful. So today I had sex again with my wife and it was indescribable. I feel human, I feel good. I feel real....... I won PMO.
Congrats mate. Very happy for you!! I wish I had ED too, because it seems easier tl cure.. But I have PE.
Hi Barron, Amazing story and something I can related to. I got married a couple of years ago and have never really been able to enjoy sex with my wife. Its been 15 days since I quit P and the last time I M'd was the same 15 days ago. I had a question, my wife knows about this and is cooperating but some time she get a little 'handsy' and I am not sure if I should do that. Just for some more info, I have started getting morning wood and the discussion of sex (or spooning)does arouse me. I hope I can get my life back for the sake of my lovely wife
Some do hard mode, some don't. As long as your wife understands to be patient, to focus on intimacy and connection, I say go for it. Also make sure she isn't over city moe saying.0, trying to "compete" with the porn. Emphasize the relationship and intimacy above all else.
What a great story! So happy for you. And your wife! Also: I would suggest you two talk about trying karezza. It's sex without O and while it can be done with only the addict not orgasming I highly recommend the wife try it too. I did and we gained so much from it! See my signature for links. As for your specific question, I would say it depends on how far along you are into your reboot, but I would say it would be better to go monk mode for at least a couple weeks in the beginning when it can be the most difficult for the addict. Have you heard of the chaser effect? http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-chaser Having said all that, I do totally understand where your wife is coming from. I struggled with wanting to throw out the reboot and just have sex already, when my husband first started his reboot. After all, sex is good for a marriage/relationship, right? Right. But holding off for a while for the sake of a reboot is too. The rewards are worth way more than a hand job that is over in a few minutes.
Thank you for this motivational story I can't wait for my wife to come into mylife by following nofap until I meet her I know I will be good enough I will vision her and vision myself without faping my future away
Hello! I have heard a lot about Karezza and I will give it a try after some research. My plan right now is to just go with hugs and kisses till atleast day 30. If I start getting hard regularly with my wife I will try this out. Thank you for your help!
That's a very good plan! Have you heard about FANOS? See my signature. I recommend it to all couples!!
I would switch PE to ED at any time, ED is easier to cure and at the same moment you don't have to go 9-12 months without having orgasm or sex with your partner just to make the 10 seconds, 2 minutes, I guess...