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First Time, Long Time

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by GroundhogDay01, Jul 6, 2016.

  1. Jul 6, 2016 #1
    GroundhogDay01

    GroundhogDay01 Fapstronaut

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    Saw the article in the Times today, immediately bookmarked it. Came here tonight at a time when I might normally be sitting down to look at porn.

    The last video I watched (yesterday), I found by Googling "weird porn." According to all info on this site, that clearly indicates I'm an addict who's been at this for awhile — and in very deep. I'm heading into my late twenties now, newly married to a wonderful wife.
    And so of course I had long ago tricked myself into thinking, "Well when we're engaged, I just won't need porn anymore because we'll have so much sex," and then it was "Well when we're living together..." and then it was "Well when we're married..." and then it was "Well, it's not hurting us anyway..."

    Lately I'm experiencing PIED and DE during sex, which has scared the crap out of me. I already know porn is the cause and I'm deathly afraid of this hurting my marriage. Nothing motivates like fear!

    I'm just glad I found this now. I had no idea the resource existed and would never have thought to look for one. Here's to hopeful success.
     
    GroundhogDay01, Jul 6, 2016
    GroundhogDay01, Jul 6, 2016
    #1
    ILoathePwife likes this.
  2. Jul 6, 2016 #2
    GroundhogDay01

    GroundhogDay01 Fapstronaut

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    My god, I was just writing up my profile and calculated on-the-spot that I've been progressively viewing porn or porn-like stimulations for 15+ years. That is shockingly sad. Wow.
     
    GroundhogDay01, Jul 6, 2016
    GroundhogDay01, Jul 6, 2016
    #2
  3. Jul 6, 2016 #3
    ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

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    Welcome. You're in a good supportive place. 11 years ago I got married to a man I didn't know was a PMO addict. He didn't tell me for 5 years. Even after he quit watching P he continued to MO and fantasize and he didn't do the work he needed to to to imprive our relationship. (P is an intimacy killer.) When he finally found nofap a few months ago our marriage was nearly over. Now, with the help of the reboot, FANOS, nonsexual cuddling and karezza, we are falling back in love again. It's wonderful!

    If you haven't already told your wife, please, please do. PMO thrives in darkness. Don't continue the patterns of secrecy and lies.

    I'll leave you links, which will lead to the things I mentioned that helped us. As my husband and I agreed tonight, it's not enough to stop watching P. You need to repair the damage P has done to your mind and your relationship. Also, we have a private group for SOs, your wife is welcome. I also highly recommend individual counseling for both of you.
     
    ILoathePwife, Jul 6, 2016
    ILoathePwife, Jul 6, 2016
    #3
  4. Jul 6, 2016 #4
    ILoathePwife

    ILoathePwife Fapstronaut

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    ILoathePwife, Jul 6, 2016
    ILoathePwife, Jul 6, 2016
    #4
  5. Jul 7, 2016 #5
    GroundhogDay01

    GroundhogDay01 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, fupornwife. Being new to this commitment, that's something I'm struggling with and as you can understand, it will take some time to think over how and when I disclose this. I'm just now coming to grips with the full scope of harm this may have caused.
    She is my wife, she 100% deserves to know. But I've got a lot of personal shame to sort through over this. I'm hoping I can start my journey now and gain the confidence along the way.

    Very much appreciate the supportive message and thanks for the warm welcome.
     
    GroundhogDay01, Jul 7, 2016
    GroundhogDay01, Jul 7, 2016
    #5
  6. Jul 8, 2016 #6
    Junaidi83

    Junaidi83 Fapstronaut

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    You not wrote very detail regarding your addiction so i cant give to much advice on here

    However what you need as young husband is quite simple
    1.Sleep well (9 hours/days)
    2.Eat regurally (try to focus on sea food like : shrimp, oyster, clam)
    3.Eat one piece of garlic everyday each time you eat your lunch, i know its may smell bad in your mouth, but trust me its worth the smell
    4.Stop smoking or simply reduce the amount of cigarrate you use by half
    5.Quit drinking also or reduce the amount of beer you drink by half
    6.Do walking just slow walking , every single morning, do it just for 1/2 hours not spent time to much right ?
    7. Finally stop fapping and watching porn
    8. Also try to not doing sex during this periode

    Here the result
    1.First week : you will feel your body start recovering
    2.Second week : you started feeling your body getting back like teenager
    3.Third week : hell basicly you feeling so normal full energy
    4.Fourth week : You can try to made a love with your wife and compare the different

    I dont ask much of your time, just do what i say for whole 3 weeks, and reap the effect on the fouth week. If you feel there is no single things i say worked for you, then i recommend to check yourself on doctor, probably your body grow cancer or something :p (just kidding)
     
    Junaidi83, Jul 8, 2016
    Junaidi83, Jul 8, 2016
    #6

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