I am now dating and we engage in sexual activity. I feel bad because he can't make me cum and if I want to I have to touch myself for a while while we are together and even then it seems I take forever. I find I a bit unsatisfying although I feel selfish for wanting to O. Ive also noticed I'm not in the mood as often and it's hard for me to get aroused and wet. I just want to enjoy the intimacy and make love to him and not be focused on myself. I don't want him to feel like he is not enough because he can't make me cum and I've tried reaching him how to touch me but as good as it feels I can't get off. I also can't help worrying that his hands and arms will get all sore trying lol
Ever play fetch with dog? it take a while to teach them... and once they got it, everyone have a great time. i guess it is sort of like that.. in ur case. U got to teach, and he got to practice and when things are on track, Wa la, everyone happy. I never own a dog... I am just guessing.
I guess I just need to give it time and not be afraid to direct my bf and tell him what I do or don't like. I just am scared I won't even be able to get aroused or in the mood anymore. It's hard to get turned on. Even alone it's been taking forever to 0 although I'm trying to stop MO to regain sensitivity and to detox
I think this is the key by far. I used to MO on a daily basis and struggled to maintain a full erection and usually could not orgasm without going into extreme fantasies. Even then, sometimes I could not have an orgasm. In my sick raised-by-porn mind, I imagined that I was the best lover ever, because I could last a long, long time and was often content with not having an orgasm. Yeah, I was neither studly nor generous, I was desensitised and physically exhausted. (Also, my gf masturbates a lot and sometimes it seems like it takes me forever to get her to orgasm from oral). Not MO'ing will change everything. It may take time, but it's worth it. The less you can touch yourself the better. Good luck!
That's rough. How long do you think before it gets easier. I usually only MO like once a week now for at least a month. It doesn't seem to get better. Sure I can definitely tell when it gets harder because I MOd more that week but not doing it doesn't seem to help a huge amount either. I've been trying to stop and yet it seems to be getting harder for me to O with my bfs now and I'm not changing anything other than I trying harder to stop
We're all different, so there really aren't any guarantees that you will be able to O more easily after a certain period of time . . . but why not try going for a 90 day reboot? A hardmode reboot would usually mean no masturbating and no orgasms (and no porn) . . . and no touching for 90 days. If that seems unreasonable seeing that you have a bf, maybe try only having orgasms with him. It's not easy and many people fail, but it is possible. And you will find a lot of people on here who will encourage you along the way.
I don't know if I could give up sexual activity with my bf. I could probably give up all orgasms or give up MO. It's so hard. I'm so tempted to do it. I don't get why doing it once a week is harmful. I want to make excuses. I should be able to M occasionally without it affecting y sex life
I get that. I still am very tempted to M sometimes. But I am holding on and trying to save that energy for my gf. Remember - you're only giving it up for 90 days. Try it! After that you can decide what you want to do next, and that might be that after 90 days you will decide to go back to M'ing once a week.
