So, I just relapsed while wearing panties. It is not the first time I've done this, and I want it to stop. 3 months ago, I was fired from my job because I asked my crush/co-worker for undie pics. Before I was fired, I was feeling absolutely amazing. I was eating healthy, working out, meditating daily, and was on my longest streak of 48 days no pmo. All I wanna do is get back to that, but I'm so depressed as shit, and am slowly falling back to my old habits. I'm lucky these days if I can get through a few days without relapsing. My new job doesn't pay as much as my old job. It's 3 times the walk, and about twice the work. I had a dream the other day where my parents were making fun of me about some cryptocurrency assets that I hold, and I ran to the bathroom with a knife in my hand and I sit in there crying and screaming. The suicidal thoughts have been strong lately. And although I never really allow myself to do any physical harm in my conscious state, the thoughts have been stronger than ever. I have to beat this shit, because I deserve greatness. Help!
I hope everything gets better soon. Dont take any unusual step that your parents friends and relatives might regret. Lately I've also been having suicidal thoughts I never thought that I might feel such way. I'm very scared to say about it to anyone But with time everything will fall in its place and we will look back at this time as a life changing period of our existence. Good luck and try not to get into trouble
I have to agree with what has been said above, having suicidal thoughts is very dangerous, because the feelings that accompany those thoughts are very powerful. It's good that you are talking about it and looking into professional help would definitely be a good idea. Many, many people have lost jobs, made bad investments and/or gotten hooked on porn and panties . . . and eventually ended up living very happy, healthy and successful lives. Everything that you have described can be overcome, except for suicide, there's no turning that one around. I remember your posts from before. It's good to see you posting on here again. I can relate to a lot of what you share. Some of what I experience has been very compulsive, and very risky, and it's gotten me into trouble. Again, very powerful desires and impulses that we are dealing with. I've met a number of guys who wear panties, some of whom are happy with it. But if you are not happy with it and it is causing you distress and feelings of shame, I believe that it can be stopped. I wore panties almost 24/7 for a few years and had well over a hundred pairs (that's a lot, but it's a lot of money, too!). What seemed to work for me was developing an interest in men's underwear that I really like (and yeah, I have about three drawer's full) and little by little, getting rid of the panties. It wasn't always easy, but sometimes I would grab a pair (one of my least favourites, of course) and just muster up the will power to . . .just . . . tear them apart and throw them away. After a while, it started feeling pretty good to throw away a pair and usually found ways to reward myself with some sort of treat for every pair that I disposed of. For me, it's been a long process (years). I still have about a dozen pairs, but they're stored away most of the time. It's nice knowing that if someone was to go through my stuff, they're not going to find all those panties, and all the receipts and catalogs etc. That's my experience. Hopefully it helped a little. You're going to be alright.
Little update. On Day 6 no pmo. Went out for a 4 mile walk, but otherwise pretty relaxed day. Had the day off, and added a little usd to my crypto portfolio. Thanks for the support guys.
The dream is demonic - demons want you to commit suicide so they emulate your family and provoke you in your dreams, I could give many examples. Regarding the other things, pornography makes you weak and effeminate, unstable and suicidal, is that what you want? And you say have to beat this because you deserve greatness? Surely you recognize the folly of this statement. You're defiling yourself in women's panties for goodness sakes.
Everybody deserves greatness. What makes me any different? Just because I'm going through some shit doesnt mean I can't come out of it better. Why remind me of what I did? I know your trying to help, but seriously? We all have our dark secrets. Writing them on NoFap helps me get through it. Yes I masturbated in panties. Yes I will beat this. Yes I deserve greatness.
And I'm aware porn makes me weak, unstable, and suicidal. I think that's why were all here. You seem to be on a pretty high horse right now. I've been there. Just chill out.
I disagree with you that I should just ignore it. I do agree with you that my actions are no different than all our actions. Were all here for the same thing at the end of the day. That's why I felt the need to respond. And I'm sorry that you are also having suicidal thoughts. We will get through this tough time together!
Update. Just completed 8 days. Sounds crazy, but this is my longest streak in a couple months. The urges are strong tonight. Just get me through this night.
Don't be alone until you need to sleep. Find something to do, something engaging. Exercise, out if you can. Make it through and get through this day.
