Day 3...was fatigue and frustrated but at the end of day ..I'm very much relaxed and loving it I stare girls but not sexually ...started meditation from today ...I'm feeling amazing now
Day 4/21 Urges are coming back again.. Today I worked, worked out, mediated and studied. So really productive and new habits and activities feel very satisfying! Success!
Days 3-5: Friday I worked and then relaxed which was good. Saturday was my last day waiting tables and we were quite busy and it was a bit emotional to say the least. It felt like the end of an era to me a chapter in my life closed and a new one has opened and I'd be lying if I said I was not scared. Sunday was my last day as a volunteer at church and then I went to the mall where I now used to work for the rest of the day for the Tree lighting ceremony. It's a big deal there and the place gets busy, I enjoyed lunch and some drinks with the family. Went to the movies as well and saw Murder on the Orient Express which was quite good. Met up with some family friends at the Wine Bar I go to quite often at the mall and enjoyed the festivities though I was quite exhausted. Went to bed early and woke up early for my first day of on the job training. A lot of information coming thick and fast at me and the job is much more than I realized. Safe to say I'm stressing about it with not wanting to mess up too frequently and learning the ropes quickly. After 90 days I have a test to see how I'm doing and I feel like this job is an important stepping stone for my future. I feel this is a time of great change in my life and reformation for myself but my goodness how I feel terrified when I think about it. But I have God with me and an amazing support group from the community here, to coworkers, friends and family. Great men throughout history never loitered in their comfort zones they continuously strived for greatness and that is what I want to do to remove myself from mediocrity to greatness and this is just the begging.
Day 3 of 21. Was better than yesterday. Got invited by a friend to a lecture about P's influences on your brain. Turned it down. I've had enough of P's presence in my life, and I've EXPERIENCED the negative influences already.
Day 0. I miss the feeling how I felt on day 20, it was such an unreal state I was in. I need to stay focused, mind over matter.