It is that reasonable. So now it is time for you to begin to change. As you begin to advance in days sober, appreciate those days. If you should slip, no matter how many days sober you have been, appreciate that you have once been able to obtain a certain amount of days sobriety. You will still be disappointed that you made a mistake but you are surrounded by men and women who have made the exact same mistake and have gotten up and began again! You may have failed but you are not a failure. You are only a failure when you quit because that's where journey story ends. Once you get up and begin again, your journey continues another day. You continue that process each and every time. One of the best aspects of NoFap is how we encourage each other. When you spend more time encouraging others, you spend less time focusing on yourself. The less time spent on yourself, the faster the days of sobriety seem to pass. I have counters but I don't look at them. I come on NoFap to encourage others and by doing so, you would be surprised by how I gain strength from other people. I am constantly inspired to continue on and resist those weak moments because of you and others. Those who have relapsed, I resist to give them hope. Those who have remained sober, I see their motivation to remain sober and I do not want to disappoint. These are ways that keep me positive when I am weary. I hope this helps!
You and I have many similarities my man. I, too, have failed many times which also included a situation with a woman from last year, just as you have. However, I think you should give yourself credit for trying. And when you've failed many times, something within you starts to make sense, and apparently you're at that point. At the same time, I'd suggest that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Sounds cliche, but it's something I have trouble with as well. On the other hand, I think you should give yourself a second chance. I've come to the conclusion that most of what you've said to the other Fapstronauts was not only helpful, but at the same time, you have trouble improving yourself given the fact that you have the wisdom and experience to share it. Just because you've read everyone's posts and have felt their hardships, doesn't mean you will face the same fate. Like I said, give yourself a chance, work on yourself, and be the best person you can be. To say that a woman should only be your friend is heartbreaking itself, even if they are willing to be with you. I know this is a lot, but once in a while I find someone on Nofap that has a unique similarity, and this is one of the reasons why I enjoy being a member of this website. I believe everyone deserves to be loved and appreciated, but this can't always happen. Because people go through different levels of hardships. All I know is that I feel you man. I hope you can find yourself, but continue to give advice to others just like I have.
I think you should be one of the staff members of Nofap. You would make a huge contribution to them just by the things you say, and the encouragement that you give to others. It's just a thought
As much as I appreciate your sentiment, I have a freer range of expression being only a member and not a part of the staff. I would tend to believe that the staff can only go far far and have to be more impartial to any given Fapstronaut, having to refrain from talking about religion or other potentially controversial topics, even when it may be allowed. I may be completely or partially incorrect in my assumptions. As it currently stands, I can help as many as I can without the restraint and responsibilities of being a part of the staff.
Great posts my friend, you made me reconsider my own perspectives on this matter. To be honest I've been free from drug addiction and video game addiction for 1 year, PMO for nearly 3 months; however, I still find myself thinking that I would be happier in a relationship. The truth is that I've only begun to change myself from a vice-ridden addict into to a constructive human being. I know deep down inside that I have to undergo the long process of self-transformation before I can offer something special to a woman. Thanks for helping me to re-evaluate my beliefs on this matter!
@Namekian23 and I was doubting this guy was from the staff. If you see his profile he's full of thank yous. We should celebrate a party in D. J.'s name sometime
I've had a couple of girlfriends. All ended terribly! Patience is key, I guess...the right one will come along, eventually! (Well, hopefully).
I was always very successful with women, and here is my secret: I think of them like wild cats. If you want that a cat comes to you, then offer something interesting, but then be patient and wait. Give her the time to find trust in you, then she will come closer to you by herself. If you chase a women, she will always run away. Also, life is short, and take it easy. Women like to play. I always loved that exciting moment, when a woman suddenly hooks in you, and opens up herself to you. When she literally says with her body: "Here I am, take me, do anything with me". That's a magic moment in life. Like a flash out of from universe. Your heart beats and it's totally exciting.
Ironically, I'm almost legendarily good at socializing with cats, even with those who are known to be extremely shy. If I was that good with girls, I wouldn't be here...
hm, well .... you need a lot of patience ... 'tease' them a little ... when you get a dismiss, keep absolutely cool - it's like a paw hit, they come back to you ... overall, show that you are stable and trustful. trust is super important. only when she feels full trust, she will open up to you.
Very difficult in my case as I do not frequent places where women gravitate. Moreover, I live in a provincial town where everyone seems to be married or engaged, at least those in their 30s and 40s. Apparently, we turn invisible at the age of 39 too so I am quite resigned to the fact I am abstaining for self-development and enlightenment. In a sense I am fortunate as I do not have many temptation around me to make me relapse. Also, that option would be dating websites, however there is so much sordidness and exhibitionism that I would rather concentrate on my path and struggle. I believe in quality over quantity that does not correspond to money and material possessions. Alas, the there is not much glut in this regard. At the moment I'd rather work on my self and clear my body and soul from all the endless aberrations I fed them with.
As a girl.... Let me say this is bull shit (no offense). There are at least a few girls out there willing to date you, and I'm not saying that to make you feel better. You just need to be willing to date those girls. I have a few questions for you: 1) What women are you interacting with? If you go to work, home, and occasionally a bar, you aren't going to find ANY woman worth your time. 2) Are you asking women out? Be serious. If you're asking them to "hang" or only just talking to them, they aren't going to just turn into your GF. When you fish, you need to bait the hook and put the line in the water before you can pull them into your lap. 3) FRIENDS FIRST: how many girls are you actually friends with? I know people plague the friend zone, but let's be honest, you're going to have to be friends with them at some point and if the feelings are there, the friend zone can go fuck itself! 4) What is your definition of a girlfriend? Because if you're looking for a person to listen to you, go places with, and have sex with, you can do that with a therapist, a friend, or a prostitute. A girlfriend is actually a responsibility... not just something to have to make you feel better. Not every girl is the same, but we all are human: Get to know a girl. Find out about her. Take interest in her life and support her dreams. If she doesn't appreciate all of that, then the problem is that YOU pick the wrong girls to invest into. Hit me up if you want more insight into a girl's mind.
1. I really don't have many right now. I'm mostly at work, or school(Pretty much no girls in my classes), I stay mostly at home. I don't really have much time for church right now because of work. 2. Not really, I'm pretty shy. I don't really any friends that are girls. 3. I don't really have any friends that are girls, I like to have some friends that are girls in real life. 4. I'm waiting till marriage for sex. I'm pretty just looking for someone to spend my life with.
You need to be able to connect to a woman through conversation. Someone you have something in common witTo create a sharing space for getting to know each other. And make them laugh. All the best. POTM