So how have guys been able to find a girlfriend?

Well, totally passive is not enough.
You must push it a little bit. But just a little bit!
And when a girl comes closer to you then just let it happen. It will work.
Never rush it, she will flee, and you will be devastated.

 

Never happened to me, tbh.

 

I met a girl today she was on the bus singing and I just looked and keep quiet then I seen the same girl in the meat store she worked there and I said hi have a blessed day she said the same to me then I left after I bought the food

 

Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean that it will not happen to you. As you progress toward sobriety, you will not be the same person you were.

 

Honestly, the only true solution here is putting yourself out there. It's a numbers game. The more places you attend - work, school and college, hobby clubs, going out with friends - the more women you meet - the more the chance you'll find someone that likes you.

I believe there was a psychologist who said it is women who 'let' the man choose them. They give you signs they're interested and you go up and invite her out. I think there's some of truth to this.

I was a shy guy, no friends, almost never out of the house but as soon as I entered college and several part-time jobs the attention I got skyrocketed. I never made any first initiations, never did 'cold' approaches, never complimented a girl and even never invited them out, yet I still managed to find both short-term and long-term partners.

So if you're 'struggling' with getting a girlfriend, ask yourself this - "Do I put myself into situations with lots of girls?". You could literally go out to a bar tonight, stick around long enough and you'll bump into a girl who'll dance with you.

Now, as for keeping a girlfriend, that I'll leave to the veterans.

 

I've read some of your other posts and you yourself admitted that you don't go out that much. So from the get-go the chance of finding a girl that likes you is low.

Looking for a girl to marry before having sex is also not helping you. I guess if you were still in high school and you meet a girl with similar views/lack of experience etc. I respect that, but realistically, how many girls do you expect to actually go through marriage and set up their entire future with you before getting intimate - especially in our culture where sex is about as casual and leisure as you can get?

There's also the question of how much are you working on improving your looks, because these are crucial to that initial attraction.

 

You have received a lot of advice from many people, how do you feel now? Has it made a difference in how you view things? If so, let us know.