NoFap's Official "Masturbation-Free March 2017"! Continue or start your PMO-free commitment here.

Yes - it helps. Thanks for sharing & well done for putting the whisper in its place.

 

Don't give up - good to see your commitment to carry on to the end of the month

 

I can definitely attest to that. When I first started, I made it a goal of going 1 day. I did and each time between relapses got longer...3 days, 5 days, etc.

Your brain is rewiring itself. Keep up the fight and your brain will keep on creating the awesome.

 

I know I'm late to the party but I have been trying. Relapsed once. Now on day 5 of reattempt.

 

That's a good idea. Incrementally larger goals.

 

Congratulations! Put some positivity in this post! You're now late, you're chasing awesome. You are not "just trying", you are striving for greatness. You are building awesome. You will fall along the way, but you will get stronger and wiser every time you get up.

 

That worked for a while..up until about 15 days, then I had a new hurdle. I couldn't get past that milestone. I actually regressed. So, I switched strategies. I stopped trying to focus on willpower and just observed and being accountable. I didn't stop myself from masturbation and/or porn but I had to report it here. As I started to notice how many times I was posting, I got back on track.

My current challenge is 30 days (Official March 30-day) working up to 90 days (***). I ended up in these challenges by accident. I joined a group on Twitter (#MenofMarch) and the first rule (I never expected it to be) was NOT to masturbate or look at porn. I was nervous, but then I was like "What the heck..."

So far, it's been working. I'm already 12 days in...no mess ups, no edging, just tents.

 

SIGH I relapsed.
I was meant to have sex LOL and when it DIDN'T happen and I was still really horny....plus more work and money stress.

DAMN IT WOMAN STOP RELAPSING!

HOWEVER,
My fetish though still arousing, the pathways are much weakened compared to before and it horrifies me a lot quicker now. And I want a real person to have sex with, not my hand lol. I always feel a bit blue after I relapse too :-(
And even though it will take longer maybe and have its OWN challenges, I think I need to be normal mode, not hard mode.

One bright spot is, someone was saying about the times between relapses being longer? I have that. It was a week, this time it was 11 days.

 

Day three completed. Going back to classes tomorrow I'll see if that makes me want to PMO. I hope not, but I will see.

 

Amazing!

What helps you wake up at 4:45?

Were you always an early riser or did you develop this habit?

And if its the latter, how did you do it? I have always been the type pf person who wakes up later rather than early and from many tries I always tend go back to my old wake up times.

 

Had sex last night with a woman. Ended up having an O no P involved. The no PMO streak is still alive right?

 

Day 13 of 30: Almost nearing the halfway mark and close to crushing my previous NoFap record of 15 days. Yesterday was difficult but not because of what did happen, but what didn't happen.

I'm flatlining on the physical side. I recognize the signs from earlier NoFap challenges. I don't know if it's going to last a day or a little longer (I think a previous flatline lasted about 3-4 days.)

Part of the issue may be my exercise routine. I stepped it up MAJORLY in that department. I do 1,000 pushups, situps, dips, air squats, and 10 1-min planks now (only this week, Sun-Friday).

The other part might just be hormonal.Maybe it's tired of all of those tents I was getting. I don't know. Frankly, I don't give a damn. I'm not really using it for now, besides to pee, so it'll be back when it's ready. Getting to that point where I can say that has been a journey, though. When I first flatlined, I freaked out and immediately relapsed. Then I read about it on the NoFap. I was still freaked out, but a little less concerned.

Then a few days later, I had the biggest tent in a long time. So, it's cool.

My "little guy" isn't limp, but he's around 70-75% of strength right now.

Still in the fight, despite my "little guy" taking a rest.

PS I'd never thought I would post details about my penis on a forum, but life is weird....

 

I actually wake up earlier than 4:45 a.m. I usually wake up around 4 a.m.

I don't consider myself an early riser, even though other people do. I joined #0445club when I got tired of the way my life was going. I had read Jocko and Leif's book "Extreme Ownership", thought it was a great book, but didn't really apply the lessons.

I had to research something about Jocko for a freelance article I was doing and found the #0445club Twitter after Google-inspired searching started by this article: http://www.businessinsider.com/retired-navy-seal-jocko-willinks-morning-routine-2015-11

I also read this article by Craig Ballantyne: The 3 C's of the Perfect Day http://www.earlytorise.com/the-3-cs-of-the-perfect-day/ after hearing about him on a podcast.

I was still having a rough time experiencing my goals, so I said to myself "Screw it. Let me just get up early and see what happens."

I loved the quiet.

I wrote down some goals and I spent the first part of the morning chasing those goals down.

I messed up the next day and got up later than 4:45 a.m. but I eventually got the hang ot it. It required me to cut down on crap that I didn't need in life, set my priorities, etc. but I became MASSIVELY productive, more fit (currently doing 1,000 pushups, situps, etc. because I was inspired by all of the fitness stuff posted by #0445club members), and more intentional with my life.

My basic advice: If you want to try it, START.

My advice in 4 steps:
1. Set your clock to get up just 15 minutes earlier than you normally do.
2. When you get up, daydream about how you want the rest of your life to be like.
3. Circle the top 3 goals on that list that are awesome and you can make some achievement in 30-60 days.
4. Do something that moves you one step closer to the most awesome of the 3 goals you listed in Step #3.
5. If you like getting up early, keep pushing the time back at least 15 minutes back each day or each week. You'll need to go to sleep early to compensate, though.

Having said all of that, realize that the club I keep referring to (#0445club) is not all about getting up early at 4:45 am. Its chief mission is to push you towards your goals, whatever they are (we call "getting after it".) So, if you don't want to get up early, you don't have to. You can still join. The only requirement is that you are actively going after your goals. Just use #0445club to get started!

 

M on the 51th day of the NoFap, feeling motivated

 

oh cool i found this site last nite. and already had 3 relapses. owch. longest reboot 6 months last year... i knew i had a problem with porn. maybe i can do 6 months again. hard mode. cheeehaw

 

Day 2. Backing to fight. Thanks for inspiration @darkenedverse . Good quotes

 

Thanks!!!! Hope ur killing it bro!

 

Hell yeah brother!

 

Day for completed.

 

Hey Everyone
I want to congratulate you all for your efforts and for being exactly where you are.
There is no right or wrong place to be. Just where you are, is perfect.
Though it may not always seem perfect, life gives us exactly the journey we need to grow.

So it's been a while since I've posted in here. A few days I think.
For me it's been 24 days without porn.

There is certainly a deepening. I am learning to be conscious about when I ejaculate and when I don't.
I used to have no control over that. Now, I feel I am getting mastery. I have ejaculated three times in the past 24 days. That's marvellous. I initially intended not to masturbate or have sex. But since I went without sex for 5-6 months, separated with my wife, it was a gift to my soul to enjoy lovemaking and also to honour some masturbation time. Now comes the time to be celibate again for a period.

My experience is that porn is very stimulating, it certainly is drug related in it's effects on the brain. Research has shown this, and continues to. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hope-relationships/201501/is-porn-the-most-prevalent-drug

Predominantly for me the journey has been getting easier as I continue my commitment to a life without dependancy on porn. Over the past year and a half I have strengthened my determination.
It has not been easy, in fact at times I have been completely devastated, driven to the brink of suicide in fact. The only thing that kept me alive was embracing the pain in presence and compassion.
It's not the addiction that's the problem at all.
It's always been my lack of presence.

If I cannot be with life as it is without filling it with something to get me high like porn or sex, to avoid the pain and problems of life, than of-course seeking an end/escape becomes the auto-pilot way of reacting.
Addiction comes from an inability for me to respond. Response-ability is the capacity for me to take action when required. Addiction avoids life.

For me addiction is a clinging to something that eventually destroys a capacity for life. An addict discounts the impact of addiction on life and others in it. The fix becomes more important than the consequences. Hence the shame, the pain, the suffering. Once awareness grows, the pain can be witnessed and presence can hold that pain.

Asking these following questions can open up a new space in life that can hold and resolve the pain that drives addiction. Sit with these questions without trying to answer them with your mind, but listen for the answers with your being, with the energy in your body. Meditate on them as if they were an open door to a new life.

Can there be space for pain?

Can there be a silent witness that can hold the attraction to the old patterns that want to run from the suffering in life and hide away in feeling good masturbating and watching porn?

Is it really true when I hear my mind saying I can't last any longer and have to give in to the urges and watch porn and masturbate again?

Who am I really?

For me, I find solace diving deeper and checking who am I really beyond this mind that believe/s/d that I am never going to break this addiction. I like to sit with the question "Who am I really?"
Because sure it's easy to imagine who I really am is not simply an addict, but to dive in deep and check, am I really much more than an identity that imagines I am a porn addict?

When I meditate on this question who am I really? I find a massive amount of peace. I find a deeper satisfaction than I could ever have found anywhere, no glamorous porn, sexy woman or anything in the external world has been able to match the degree of peace that comes from discovering that I have no clue to who I am, and yet that is beautiful. No content in the external world can match the deep contentment that is available within me.

If porn is a drug, it's a drug because it distracts us from who we really are. It distracts us from our discomfort that we feel. From the sense of separation we feel from who we really are at our deepest most fundamental level. Since we cannot run from this sense of separation, we hide in pleasure, but we can only hide for so long before we feel it again.

Our only true salvation is to know who we are. To end the separation within. Yet, we cannot know ourselves intellectually, because who we are is beyond the mind. Beyond content. Knowing ourselves is communion. It's why we look towards sex to find ourselves. Because we desire that communion. The deepest form of lovemaking is found within ourselves. A perpetual orgasm is available beyond this physical world. But it will not happen from a clinging and seeking state of mind. It will come (pardon the pun) from a state of grace. An opening and surrendering. A letting go and embracing all of life. If this sounds anything like the most sublime kind of lovemaking, it's because it is. When this is accessed from within, our stranglehold and expectations on the physical world to satisfy us dissolve and we discover the pleasure is already available to us without needing to go anywhere or do anything. We do it for the pure joy of living and playing with life.

Bless you all!