Hi All I'm new to nofap and have been struggling over past recent months/years. I have been reflecting on how best to move away from porn addiction and associated struggles and decided that I will endeavour to commit to making 2017 a year to move away from it, and focus on family and God being first in my life. Is anyone making a similar commitment to journey with? I hope I can learn from you all and gain inspiration. At the same time I hope that I can share some of my stories as I post because I have successful experiences of moving away from such struggles in the past and hope this will help and bless others. God Bless to all my brothers and sisters in Christ on this forum. I am praying for you now. Have hope, have life. Nothing is impossible with God.
Hello, everyone. I am a roman catholic struggling with sexual sins all my life. I'm 29yo now, but I started back when I was a little kid, I can't even tell when exactly did it start. I've been an apostate from 12 to 25, but since then I decided to fight porn and fap. I haven't succeeded in any try but ENOUGH is ENOUGH. I can't let my soul be killed by this. I may add that I also suffer from ADHD, I don't know if it fuels the addiction or if the addiction fueled it. All I know is that I could have achieved more in life, but I didn't. For quite a good time, I lost my power to concentrate almost completely, I am having really hard times to read a book and even to watch a movie! I want a pious and healthy life, I really don't want this anymore. My ultimate journey to Mount Doom begins now. My last attempts to overcome the addiction have been stopped by both urges and NOCTURNAL POLLUTIONS. I need a solution, because everytime I have a nocturnal pollution, the urges become impossible to deal with. God bless you.
@Amakusa , welcome to NoFap. I hope myself and others can support you on your journey. I can relate to a lot of what you say. I also started as a child and have struggled with sexual sins for most of my life too. Nocturnal pollutions/emissions has featured for me too. It may, however, be helpful to know that according to these links nocturnal pollutions/emissions is not a sin in itself - see discussions here: http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?t=146504&page=3 and here: http://www.ewtn.com/v/experts/showmessage.asp?number=313524&Pg=&Pgnu=&recnu= It's an interesting subject actually because I found I suffered from it almost as a withdrawal from not masturbating when awake, but it did seem to be a phase and I stopped doing it (this is in my thirties so not down to teenage hormones or anything like that). I did also have some more "hybrid" nocturnal situations where the desire and the intention of doing it was built up in my sleep and then I might half wake up and semi-consciously masturbate. I suppose that's a complex one because there was an element of consciousness, although I would not say I was fully aware of what I was doing and I would be shocked in the morning thinking back to what on earth I did and what was I thinking. On a more general note, have courage and know our God wants to lovingly guide us back to the right path. He is patient with us. In summary, pray, pray and pray because that's how we let Him step in and help us. He won't give up on us no matter what.
@Amakusa, out of curiosity what is it that leads a nocturnal pollution to urges that prove impossible to deal with? Is it because it has essentially triggered the lie that "the damage is done"? (I know I previously fell into this trap..)
No. I get REALLY horny after it happens. Involuntary thoughts and an urge to further empty my bladder.
Thank you for your support. I know it is not a sin, but it causing me trouble. I notice that empty bowels help me a lot. By the way, I've been dealing with IBS, anxiety and exhaustion - Feel tired all the time. I just reached 30 years, I REALLY wanna do something else with my talents. This thing has been impairing me for too long, I hope it is not too late.
Invoking any member of the Holy Family, including the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and Chaste Heart of St. Joseph, is particularly efficacious for subduing or surviving these urges, I find.
I got some signs that I was hoping meant something would happen today, but they didn't. Disappointed is all.
I can certainly echo @Dr. Jekyll's reply that it's never too late. Welcome to the thirties by the way; I sincerely pray it will prove a change in a really positive way for you. For my own journey I can report both failures and successes and, whereas suddenly refraining from such sin is possible through God's grace, I've found a lot of my journey is about a gradual "untangling" of what's going on inside me and getting to the bottom of how to deal with my feelings, what's causing anxiety and how to deal with the urges. Boy, I've got it wrong and have got it wrong recently. But I know it's possible. And I've journeyed from where I felt helpless and thought it was impossible. I once heard someone share their story on a Catholic men's retreat, and they said that something they were once inspired to do was, rather than simply wallow in shame and helplessness after they had sinned, they turned their attention to worshipping God there and then. Without even getting cleaned up. It struck as a bit of a shocking suggestion but actually it's reality. And it's good. It's reaching out to the very guy who can help us and acknowledging it's a lie that God doesn't want anything to do with us before we get to reconciliation. We can start that reach out straight away. I don't mean pretend we haven't sinned. And I don't mean we don't need to get to reconciliation; of course we do, but I do mean that we can acknowledge who God is, how awesome He is, say sorry, recognise He loves us and start that repair... and I know it might need to happen again, and again, and again... many times, and perhaps over many years (I hope not but that's my reality) .. boy I'm glad He's patient.
@Amakusa, this is totally off topic and apologies if this isn't helpful but I happen to know celiac disease is often misdiagnosed as IBS and also that when it sets in it can cause exhaustion. Have you ever been tested for it by any chance? If it is celiac, for many it is good news when it's discovered because then there's a known route to recovery and it's so much easier to manage it and live normally than it used to be.
Amen. All along I have known that the healing and untangling and so on goes on and on and on, but it's probably only in the last month or so that I have really and truly internalized, accepted, and believed that. But it's not that I'm not healed from my addiction; it's that I've learned one's entire life is a process of learning and improving. Again, always knew and accepted this as a younger man, but never really understood it and assimilated it into my view of the world. I knew it was true, but it didn't always feel true. Haha hey do I sound like a guy who's about to turn 35 by any chance?
It's IBS, pretty sure. My colon hurts like hell when I have a crisis. About how to act after a sin, I found it very helpful to read Peter Kreeft's "The Angel and the Ants". I highly recommend it. I know I haven't beat this addiction yet, but it is much better than it was before.