My story starts around the age of 11-12, almost like everyone else. At first, I watched regular porn and it was fun, but then I moved on to joi videos, then to femdom, and now to some kind of sissy porn. The problem is that I hate it and I want to leave it forever, but I always come back and I get depressed because of it. What if I can't have a girlfriend because of this?
I don't block content, just try not to think about it. Usually it lasts a week and i comeback to this shit. in the summer I tried to have sex with a girl, but I just couldn't get erection, I blame it on the fact that I was worried
yeah bro. I'm trying to practice nofap. in the moments when I am free from this for 2 or 3 weeks I feel very good, I am like a monk. I feel some kind of purity. but for a longer time I can’t manage further, the addiction in my brain controls me and I check femdom content. it kind of happens automatically
Fact: this kind of stuff gives you a strong and shocking dopamine/oxytocine/endorphin kick. It is really a drug. I know this happy feeling what it is causeing, I know the shaking when the affects starts to get weaker, and I know the fallback. But I know that it is only long-term, when you repeatedly give it to yourself. If there is no other chance, then go 100% offline. Leave the house, go to yoga or dance class, or any kind of class, if you have money or possibility. Or just go out to the nature, and walk/run as you wish, but be offline for days. Step by step you will feel the difference. And I love all of the HIIT trainings on the youtube, when I do one for 10-15 minutes, I feel menthally stronger too. Do not give up. Now that the whole internet is full will visual manipulation, it is really hard, but possible to step forward.
I have a similar issue, I struggle with cuckold porn and whenever I relapse, it is usually with that. I too get concerned I won’t be able to get a girlfriend because of it, or that I’ll be really tempted to proposition her to give it a try if I do. I even have a fantasy surrounding it where me and her get a hotel room with a separate living room area and every time we meet up with the other guy, the first sex session is always just for the two of them and I only listen from the living room. Then after they’re done, they come to the living room and she tells me how it was, then eventually starts fooling around with him again in the living room and takes me by the hand and leads me back to the bedroom with them to watch this time. This is not healthy and I’m very scared this could become reality if I were to get a girlfriend. Porn has made me this way.
That is really common, on first times with a woman there’s a lot of pressure we put on ourselves to preform. Our d does the opposite to what we want it to do. I have an emergency viag. In my wallet on first dates Just for back up.
I think a lot of that type of stuff comes from feeling inadequate. I guess semen retention will boost testosterone and give you more confidence up to a point. But there’s probably some counselling work you need to do about shame and negative self talk. I think it’s also a type of emotional pain that’s getting you aroused. But sometimes it’s just more shocking stuff.