Checking in Fellowship Friends! 12 Day Free of PMO Quick check in today, very productive day. Stay Strong!
Day 31 It’s a nice feeling to have been free for a whole month. Urges have been a real problem for me over the past few days, but as I’m writing this I realise that they only surface when I’m at home, alone, and find myself bored with whatever I’m doing. Identifying these three triggers will be very helpful going ahead, and I’m looking forward to making more progress.
Have not been on here in a long time. My new therapist was asking me if I post on Nofap. A nice reminder and I am glad to be back. I will try and post here every day. 0 days. I learned some techniques from my therapist today. To help bring me out of the hyper something state. They worked. I have never felt more calm. On the drive back I did not even get mad once in rush hour traffic. Amazing. haha Went to the grocery store and bought healthy food because I did not need to comfort myself. I am doing these things every day. Soon as I get home from school and when I get back to work. Probably in the morning too. Maybe with these I can start to build a good life. Nice to be back.
Day 20. 20 days hardmodes. Quite nice. What's the most surprising for me, that I haven't had wet dream yet. On March it will be 6 years that I am trying "no pmo". I don't have much to show, but I think I deserve a medal for being stubborn. In these years my philosophy about this completely changed. I started this because I wanted benefits and to avoid the dangers of overindulgence. Now, that I realise that most benefits are just the placebo, it's more difficult. But it's doable. I am trying to do this for the right reasons now. Respecting other people, respecting God's laws, respecting myself (not making my body just pleasure gratifying machine). And, of course, I still avoid dangers of overindulgence. You'll say that I am a lunatic, but I am more and more fine with serving God and His plan. Even though sometimes it's very difficult and I fail, I see beauty in being obedient. I am fine with that. Spoiler: Journey stuff Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 20. No caffeine (no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.). Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day. 10 done.
I'll be honest. Your posts make me sad past few months. You used to be very serious about this and now I see my friend regressing. Maybe I am wrong, but it seems that healing from addiction is like last priority in you life now. Usually addicts become free, when they make this number one or two priority in their life. Everything else is just delaying a relapse. These sentences apply to me too... Usually I just slide by luck in this with just few epiphanies from time to time that I still want to be on the right road.
shit shit shit first time in 43 days home alone. Approx. 1h Edit: Pretty much safe now. Gonna try urge surfing until gf is back
10 days Low urges yesterday, worked almost all the day. Today I worked out and took a cold shower. Keep strong my brothers.
Checking in Fellowship Friends! 13 Day Free of PMO Busy day overall, work has been time consuming but I'm getting some great feedback. I have been consistent with no screens the first hour I'm awake, which has been a huge game changer in my life and I've been consistent for about a month where I read about 30 mins to 1 hour before bed. Stay Strong! 13 days – The PMO forces were at your tail but you crossed the Ford of Bruinen, leaving them behind. The House of Elrond is in sight! @kaerhal Congrats on your one month! @Anew2019 Glad to see you back brother, I hope your new therapist helps you overcome the roots behind your own addiction. You got this! @PeaceOnEarth108 You got this brother, you crushed 43 days. This next bout will be cake for you! @Paul S. Hey brother, I know this is coming from a place of concern and I'm grateful to you for that. However, I will tell you that you are wrong about me not being serious. Part of overcoming addiction is spending time living in the real world and facing the trials and tribulations of your day to day life, as opposed to avoiding, as I did in the past. I have been facing my issues. Also, my work schedule swapped. So I don't have time to check in early. When I finish work, I typically spend time doing exposure and study a bit, so I minimize how much I write on the forums. Part of the roots of my addiction is avoidance, which I have been tackling for the most part. Keep in mind that I stood up within a few days of a relapse, whereas last time I relapsed and disappeared for 4-5 months. Do not worry my friend, I am quite serious about this. As for you brother, I think you are on the right road, even if at times it may feel foggy or you might have a slight disbelief in yourself.
1 day @Redemptionisrequired Thank you very much. I know she will. @PeaceOnEarth108 Thank you very much. It's good to be back. My therapist had me fill out some assesments. My assesment for depression and adhd are in the green. That's good. My anxiety is a different story. My general anxiety is in the very high range and my social anxiety is in the extreme range. My porn addiction is in the very high range too. This is good info. I always knew I had a bit of an issue with anxiety. I did not think it was to very high and extreme levels though. I have gotten much better too. Crazy. She taught me a couple ways to relax at my session. We also talked about other things that help me relax. I really like those 4k mountain videos with relaxing music. Reading novels is very relaxing for me too. I need to learn to relax. I did not realize my anxt was so high. I am not putting any pressure on myself. I now do want to do these things that will help me relax daily. I am not well. These things will help me get well. I have been emotionally sick for a long time. I thought what I was experiencing was normal. It's strange. I feel like I can relax now. I need to relax. I need to take care of me. I have been through a lot. It's time. When I was sitting in the waiting room to wait for my therapist I had old feelings come back. I was myself, as a kid, finally getting help for all those things that hurt so badly. It was kind of a special moment. I am excited about this therapist. I have had 2 before. This one has already taught me more in 2 sessions than in months with the other therapists I have had. She specializes in porn addiction too. Studied under people who studied under Patrick Carnes. I am feeling very hopeful right now.
I made a week of almost no internet which is unheard of for me so I'm glad about that. I did give into masturbation on the 28th, but I won't be doing that anymore. I wanted to test if I had pied still which I think was just me coming up with excuses. I will keep with minimal internet for the next while I think.
44 days. Tomorrow I'll leave the Misty Mountains behind and enter Lothlórien. Super happy about that and I hope I never have those mountains in front of me again. Thanks a lot for the encouragement guys, it helps @Talz well, congratulations on reaching 4 weeks and good to see you again! Avoidance is my main tool of fighting PMO... Yesterday in the first 30min of being alone at home I numbed myself with loud music. But then I tried urge surfing: I knew exactly wich clip I wanted to watch so I went through it with my mind and ir was just riddiculous, illusional and toxic. This really worked well I believe.
Day 32 Feeling quite low again. Facing a lot of personal challenges at work and I’m not yet sure how to address them, just need a bit of time and some space to process how I’m feeling. Urges have been difficult given my mood, but I’ve managed to stay resolute.
