I overcomed porn addiction. I was like 5 months without it. And let me tell you that it is awesome because I felt so much better with my sexuality. But I still masturbated to pictures of hot girls. But then one day the idea of watching porn came to me and I was like "It is okay, one day hurts nobody". But you know what's the problem? You can't watch only one day. So I kept watching and watching, and escalating to the same crap I did before. So pretty much I have to start again. Fuck!
Yea big fuck up there, but at least you have experience now, how likely will the same thought cause you to relapse. You aren't at the start that's for sure, try focus on your average number of days that you don't relapse instead of just 1 long streak
Shit happens, I've been in your shoes and know how this feels. This is just a stumble along the road, now get back up and keep going.
The problem here is that you were still jerking off to p/subs. So, you were getting some dopamine from it. But it is never enough. The way we are wired means that eventually we will escalate as you did all over again. Lesson learnt, I hope. I would encourage you to stop looking at p/subs and stop masturbation. They are a 'gateway drug' back to PMO addiction.
I can echo that sentiment. Personally, I'm pretty close to de-activating my Instagram profile, as it's basically jailbait for porn.
You might be right with that. But I don't know how to stop masturbation for good. I need to unload from time to time. I don't know anyone to have sex with and it is hard for me to find one.
One option is to make a conscious choice to stop seeing masturbation and sexual activity as a way to relax. This line of thinking probably leads you to act as if sexual release is inevitable, when (in my opinion) it really isn't. Find and cultivate other ways of relieving stress.
This is your addicted brain rationalising the need to keep getting hits of dopamine. You need to confront this narrative pal.
You fell off the proverbial wagon. Just get back on....You fapped, now you have to put on the fapstronaut suit again. See how long you can go this time. A TV series finale comes to mind:
don't call yourself a idiot. It is an addiction, and you allready had 5 months. So start again and things will be fine.