Hi, It's been a little bit. Was busy with graduation stuff//finals. Walked but failed my writing class because I did not do much in it. Ironically, I was taking it online. Sucks but no ones to blame but me. So my graduation is not happening because I failed to pass my lower div writing class. Procrastination was definitely a problem but porn was def an enabler. Here's one more interesting fact.. the professor actually gave me extra time until May 10th to finish the work for the chance of a passing grade. But still did not manage to complete the assignments. I am really sad today. But it is 11:50pm here and tomorrow is a new day. Thank you for checking in. I will be MIA for a bit here and there. This was a huge wake up call. But, lets be honest, I have had several wake up calls and always vowed to do the same only to fail miserably. But I will keep trying. I love you all and thank you for your communications, insight, kind and supportive words. M
Guys, its me back again.. I am further destroying and wasting away my life. I don't think I can be helped!
Bro, you must fight hard. It doesn't come without battle. The first 20 days for me were like actual fight. I didn't count edging as relapse in the first 20 days, but I struggled to not O, so that I get used to not releasing seed. It was a nightmare. Each time I edged, I tried all my best, so that I can escape the situation(shower in my case). It's really hard. But I decided that after 20 days are past, i will not edge anymore. And so I got to where I am right now. You must fight like you're a donkey, who is attacked by lion. It's really hard, but if you want to live, you must fight, whatever it takes.
Guys, this is bad. I am falling again. I have screwed myself over again. I almost got kicked out of my program for failing this one class twice. I have one more shot at it. I dont want to mess it up. Family thinks I have gone crazy or maybe I am on drugs. I have explained to them my situation several times and finally they seem to be taking more of a serious interest. I hope I get better. Thank you for your support.
So I was able to reinstate the class and will be retaking it. It is tight but I have to buckle down and do it. Staying postive
I still have the problem but I am really wanting to change this time. I am willed to get this out of my life!
Seems like Nofap may be your only way out, as you are required to bring your shit together and find a solution. Start the Nofap journey! You will become productive confident & happy.
Not good But I am still trying. I have also started to escalate. Its just sad. I can't pity myself though. I am not a victim. I hope I get over this. I am limiting my potential so hard right now. Its like I have no will power against it.
Keep trying. And don't feel bad about your setbacks, it's part of the process. At first it's just plain willpower, which is tough. But after some time the changes become more of a part of yourself. It's like a muscle that you have to exercise. At first you're just kind of faking it, like when first working out lifting weights and everything feels weak, and it sucks. But if you have faith in the steps you're taking, slowly it stops feeling lousy, and you start enjoying the feeling of having more control over your own life. This good feeling of empowerment eventually becomes stronger than the temptations we've all had for instant gratification. Don't give up, have trust that positive improvements can happen if you follow the path of change.
Beside the social anxiety, how are you physically? Did masterbe got you short, stocky and fat? Just as a question, because everyone I see that has social anxiety it's either very short or overweight.
There is a way out , you can do this. Pray to Buddha , or Jesus , or Allah or whoever you believe in to get you through until the end of the night. The go study for that final exam. Just do your best to stay away from porn until midnight. You can't over stress yourself , we all are going through the same struggle. As a team together we can overcome this porn addiction. NOFAP BROTHERHOOD/SISTERHOOD working together to help you win.