I cannot find my way out

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through worse situation. And I want you to know most people in NoFap community gone through the exact stages as you are going now. So I want you to know that you are not alone!!. If you truly want to quit from pmo you must truly decide to quit it . Pmo addiction is not a simple problem don't think it as a joke . I had a worse life like you - I losted my hope , suffered from depression and even cried at nights cause I don't really don't know what to do . Then I started having faith in God and started to read Bible. I want you to know if you want to make a real change you must come out from your comfortable zone you must take pmo recovery as a challenge. PMO RUINED YOUR LIFE IT TOOK AWAY YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE MADE YOU ITS SLAVE , ISLOATED YOU FROM RELATIONSHIPS . DONT LET IT DESTROY YOU ANYMORE NO MAN CAN SAVE YOU BUT ONLY YOU CAN
DONT GIVE UP BUDDY!
DONT LET PMO DESTROY YOU
PRAY TO GOD
READY TO CHANGE SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE REAL CHANGES
( sorry for bad english but i hope i helped you if i am not i am sorry )

 

Hi mate! I am really sorry to hear that. I completely understand what you are going through. The following things are helping me overcome this (it is a long process but I am getting there):

1) Find a therapist. He/she will be able to help you explore your emotions and find out where that void that you are trying to fill with porn is coming from. It took me almost a year and a half to actually understand that my low self-esteem and porn-related issues were as a result of hiding my sexuality to almost everyone and not accepting me until I was 25 (I am 28 now). The fact of knowing what led me to this addiction has helped me understand many episodes of my life which seemed incoherent and blurry.

2)Share this with a loved one. Telling someone who cares about you and loves you will make things easier as you will be able to be yourself and ask for help when needed.

3) Get educated. Read articles related to porn addiction, watch videos on this website or yourbrianonporn, post on the forum on a regular basis... All those things will help you understand yourself and make you realize that there are many people in the same boat trying to fight this beast.

Hope this helps!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE ARE IN THIS TOGETHER!

 

I'm here to tell you something, you can change. It won't come easy, but it is possible.

First things first, you need to accept you are an addict and ask God for help. This is the only way to freedom.

Secondly, pick up a Bible and learn more about God (start in the Book of Matthew), He is your friend in this fight and the only Being you can rely on besides yourself.

Third, you need to look inside and find a reason, any reason, as to why you suffer. Why are you an addict? Why does porn appeal to you? A bad childhood? Poor self-esteem? Find a reason why and work towards correcting it in a healthy way. Addiction is a symptom of an illness, not an illness in and of itself.

Fourth, have mercy on yourself. You made mistakes, you aren't a mistake. You can rise beyond this and become a good man, a better man.

Fifth, devote yourself to healing. You must do this, or else you will never heal. Healing starts with you, no one else.

God bless.

 

Brownie, I think you are in luck because your sad state seems fairly typical from what I've read on these forums.

Those may be the things that turn you and right now it may feel like you're the only person who likes those things. But a quick look around the forums will show you many people in the same situation. You don't have to feel guilty or shameful about it, because you are not unique. You did not uniquely develop these tastes. You are not some kind of monster who developed these tastes because of your "natural" personality.

What I'm trying to say is because you are just human(I'm pretty sure) you were able to warp your tastes. And because you are human, it is not a question of "can I recover" but "how will I recover".

 

You know Brownie, I'm 30 and when I discovered this NoFap thing I thought "ah shit, why couldn't I have discovered this thing 5 years ago". And yet if I was 25 and had discovered it I'm sure it would have been "ah shit...", you get the picture...

Don't think anyone comes into this thing at an age and situation, financial or otherwise, where it looks easy.

In fact, to speak gibberish even further I'm sure if I had come in at say 20 I would have said "oh no, that can't be my problem, I'm too young" or too much denial anyway. And if I came in later say 40 it would have been "there's no point, by the time I finally kick this there won't be enough time to really make a new life". I mean that's probably why I'm here at 30 right now! And if I don't kick it now, I will be that 40 year old who has given up.

I hope that helps and makes sense. Just trying to say, things look dire at every age.

That being said 25 is not a bad age to get this settled!

 

Hello Brownie--it sounds like you have a lot going for you in your life and you've lost your way somewhat. Based upon the seriousness of your concerns I might recommend you seek a professional counselor who can help you "get started" on the right path. There are many certified "sex therapy counselors" out there who can help--then once you have an established path you can rely upon NOFAP as a support function. I hope that makes sense.

 

Thank you for shareing this. It's exactly what I needed to hear right now, for I too am struggling. I'm on my second day and sh*t is getting real. It's healing to know I am not alone and other people out there feel what I feel. As far as advice goes, well this ain't my first rodeo so to speak. Porn isn't my only addiction I'm also a recovering alcoholic.
And what's helped me stay just on this side of sanity when things get bleak has always been being of service to other people. And the thing about service is it's not cureing cancer or giving away all your personal belongings. It's doing something for someone else without expectation of reward. Asking someone "how there day is going" is service. Holding the door open for someone is service. It might not sound like much, but small things like that allow you to get out of your head For a few moments and maybe, just maybe feel more like your apart of ,rather than apart from.

As for feeling helpless and hopeless, well that's kind of normal in early recovery from addiction. The addicted part of your brain is going to f&ck with you. Why wouldn't it, its dying. So stay out of your head, it's a bad neighborhood. Do your best to stay in the present moment. If you got one foot in the past one foot in the future then your pissing all over today.

 

You can't find your way out but good to know that you are looking for it. The situation you are in is terrible but believe everybody here knows this terrible. Yes we all know in different ways, but the double persona thing I can relate. In my case its not only porn persona but the persona also include depression, fear and anxiety. But there is a way out but the road to that way out is different for us. We all are here for the same problem but we all are different in our own ways. First of all start your NoFap ASAP. Initially you will feel disgusted, frustrated, etc but that's normal. Triggers and urges will be high or even crazy initially that's too normal. You have to understand that you are modifying your brain along with yourself so these factors will be there. Extreme, degrading and humiliating among these things one is common that is porn, so get rid of that. When you will manage yourself to abstain from PMO then these choices will eventually fade.

One right thing or it can be said that as you have laid the foundation of your betterment by coming here, now its up to you how you will reach there. Fellow Fapstronauts will help you in every aspect of your difficulties. Like for if it seems too difficult to reach that 90 or the no 90 seems humongous then break your journey in parts. For example first reach 15 days then aim for 30 days. At the same time understand that getting comfortable with your reboot is not the idea getting out of your comfort zone is the idea, so get ready for it. This is because through years of constant feeding of porn and masturbation your brain has reached a stage and now you will hit that hard to alter it, so expect no mercy from your brain. Again its your brain so you can rewire or train it. Thanks to the plasticity of the brain. Repent this is hard for me and I think for many of us too. Try to forget about past, I know its hard ans sometimes impossible but constant effort and vigilance is needed to fight this repent thing. For me its has ruined me or brought me down to zero. Till now I suffer from this. You are now 25 I wish that me too have started this at your stage, you have to ample time to settle your score.

Through your rebooting period maintain a journal of your journey. It can be anywhere ranging from any notebook of yours or simply you can have it here. You say you have triggers everywhere believe me there are places for you where there will be no trigger or minimal trigger for starters. To able to identify those first avoid places or circumstances where you think the scale of triggers are extremely high. You need a plan. Look upon others here, you can see your age specific groups. Then after that look solutions given to them and tailor make your ways accordingly. Why tailor make? because aforesaid that we all are different. Take up an exercise it may be swimming, walking, jogging, etc and try to continue it. Occupy yourself with activities. You are in your graduation so make education a huge factor. Focus on your career. Remember negative feeling and emotions like depression, hitting low, anxiety, etc will be there but try to fight or cope with those. Don't lead these negatives to be the factor of your relapse means don't enable them to be your triggers. Often these type of feelings result in relapses. Always remember what good things awaits for you if you abstain yourself from PMO.

Take a look at these two posts by @D . J . https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/in-case-you-didnt-know.84619/ and https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/more-you-may-not-know.95737/.

Also you can see these videos
.

Hope that I am able to help you a bit. Always remember to post your problems here and the rest of the magic will be done fellow Fapstronauts.

 

You are doing the right things and thinking in the right direction--execution of your thoughts will come with time and self-patience! It really will--always darkest when You're in the midst of angst and worry--appreciating the simple things in life will improve as long as you keep fighting and move forward and seeking new opportunities

 

Right on, Brownie. You probably have a lot of trials ahead you, as do I just alongside you, but let's keep fighting.

 

You must fight these porn demons from Hell!! That's exactly where they're from. You have to fight them hard.

 

Keep spirit bro, we all here almost have the same problem in our life just keep positve, and keep NoFap

 

Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.