The cold passed now I’m warm again. Probably diamond. You can only get that skin if you’re mastery 10 with a god Would be nice to play a goddess too some. Nemesis is a good one for assassin. I dunno about guardian the Roman earth goddess was cool. Wouldn’t mind playing her. hah I had to tell my so to relax with our cat. When he’s like on the floor or in his hammock he just wants to rest near us. Pets are to be minimal
Day 13 I was aroused for like two days for some reason. Maybe cause I had half a glass of wine with dinner. man I feel like junk after drinking mentally and physically even a sip affects me. Well I guess that’s how it is after five plus years of strict sobriety Oh well I got my experiments in time to stay with full sobriety no moderation that’s fine with me. it’s just not worth it anymore. zen needs to mma ommmmmm otherwise I’m used to coffee and breakfast now that’s weird. Today I did my intermittent fast with morning training. it was epic I will share now. I did db bench press ohp 10lb weight vest push ups L sit tuck hold on the floor . Neck strengthening and sit ups and rope tricep pull-down little rowing to warm up. Then lots of shadowboxing rounds. I did five rounds or so. With some practice on my jab cross and kicks I put together a very nice 5 strike comboination. So it’s jab cross lead hook body lead hook head cross as I step out of the pocket. Very happy with that one The one that has a sidekick lead in is nice too, Sidekick cross hook body hook head cross out similar more musings to follow training journals
Day 14 It feels like....... Ow I want it But I know I don't But I do? Should I do it? No right? No...no. Ah but I want it! Urges usually don't last more than two days You can ride that out
Day 15 Well, I'm pretty beat still. However I'm feeling better in all areas. Ommmmmmmm today is the day to call the bank about getting my biz bnk acct and my attorney to text him about where to apply for my biz license. I'm gonna be a licensed business owner by April 15th 2024. I got this. I'm growing my youtube channel now. Maybe when it hits like 10k total views I'll feel comfortable putting a link to it here in my signature. It's a compilation of short videos on strength training, martial arts, expressing my sense of humor and my very sweet cat. Oh yeah and food, don't forget the food. Who knows maybe my girlfriend will wanna be in a video sometime soon too. For now it's all 1 min or less clips because that's how you drum up viewers at first. I suppose when subscribers hits like 100+ I'll make my first like haha 3 minute video. The videos that got the most views were eating pudding with chopsticks and displaying multiple jabs including the Bruce Lee jab. I was loving coffee until it gave me a headache from not drinking it. It was so good for my digesetion though. Now I'm drinking green tea hoping that'll be the middle path here. Help me digest and no issues with caffeine withdrawal headaches. I mean I can try to make coffee work but dang. You gotta do all kindsa stuff to make that work. Green teas so easy just carry a little packet with you and you're fine. Awe I S2 meowy. He's so cute walking around my desk while I type. He likes to nuzzle me in the face. Ommmmmmmmm HUZZAH!!! I WENT TO BED AT 11:11 PM AND GOT UP AT 8AM TODAY!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MAJOR PROGRESS CELEBRATE WITH ME!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYY *DANCES* this green tea's really good too. Hey kickboxing wasn't bad last night. Pretty doable. I felt like I could finish the full 2 classes next time. Kickboxing then jiu jitsu. Awe darn meowy's shedding a lot. Gotta get on that lint roller again. Argh my left elbows hurting. IDK if that's from getting kicked lightly in it, the handstand practice I was doing, or something else. But it aches right now. Darn I shouldn't have screwed around with handstands yesterday and also I'll work on my guard some so I can block kicks without them getting a chance to kick my elbow. Yeah I got this. It's so satisfying when I score a point on someone by landing a clean strike. It hurts when they hit me though. I'm, getting used to that I think. Oh gosh I played SMITE with some hecka like suspect people last night. They were good people of course but like lots of ommmmm not so great habits displayed and I'll probably just unfriend them. They were saying some stuff that was very non-PC. The silver lining was that they called me power. Which was so much easier to say than my name. I was thinking I'd change my youtube name to MeowyPower. He's meowy I'm power. Maybe that'd work better as my current title is ridiculously hard for laypeople. It combines two words that are long vocabulary words which only a niche crowd would know. However everyone down to children who just learned to speak will know the words MEOWY and POWER. Also it's from Chainsaw Man one of my favorite Mangas (^_^) Alright so I did push at the apt gym monday and pull yesterday. Today's legs and that's the whole body for the week. Phew! lol I'm thinking that push days should be done at home for me. It'll keep my home gym set warm and give me time to just chill training at home. Also I have dip bars so I can do weighted dips up to seventy pounds with my current gear. That's an awesome amount lol. I could do my pulling days at home, however I'm only able to access the chin up at home and the dumbells go up to 25 lbs. Where as I can be doing weighted pull ups as heavy as I want with 50 lb db access at the apt gym. Up to 50 lb curls, as well as db rows. It's tough to let go of the chinup and trade it for the pull up. I suppose I could just keep training chinup at the agym. Ah tough call. It's alright. I will have you know that I got to 25 lbs x3x5 chin ups before swapping to pull ups now. I'll probably have some really well developed lats and back once I get to that same weight on pull ups. Starting back at a lower weight is a drag though of course. I'm able to do 10x3x5 pull ups right now. It's alright Zen you got this. Good news is I'm already curling 35 lb dbs and doing 61 lb kettlebell swings with some 40 lb db rows. MMMmmmmm very nice to get to do more weight and mix weights into my calisthenics training. Believe it or not I'm going for the one handed push up still. I can do archers pretty good. But the OHPU is a mission right now. I'm gonna make it work however. I'll do OHPU's by next week Monday. 100%! In hindsight after looking at the lofi picture of some attractive anime girl on YT. I'd say it's best to just avoid triggers like that within reason. I'm still gonna read manga and watch anime etc. However, I'll be avoiding things like Ecchi, movies and shows that center around sex scenes or partial nudity. It's fine if there's a pretty girl in something but if the video or image is centered around her being very sexually attractive highlighting the curves then it's really not for me. I want to be able to live in the world but not be of it. Not the parts that cross the lines of purity for my spirit. For example this is safe: I am not going to post what isn't safe but you could imagine something that's like this but 10x more sexualized would be the unsafe territory. Sparring's safe enough. Entering a cage match, no.....that's not as safe. ommmmmmmmmmm I'm low key procrastinating doing meditation and om affirmations for the day so I'll get on that. Got a work meet in 20m
At the Bottom of Everything Peaceful tranquil and wise. Does it really matter the size? If it's got enough to satisfy. Love is the goal for which to try. I miss her big and little lumps when we're working. Makes her feel better when I sing. The cat lady said just give him lots of love. Do I do that? Kind of. Asking for a small token. Truer words were never spoken.
Alrighty then so it’s time. Time to maintain balance now that I’m at it. Jeez I’m so zonked this weeks been crazy but good. I did push pull legs (no barbells at my gym sadly). And one kickboxing class. It’s Wednesday. Not bad soldier soldier on
Good morning my friends @MEOWYPOWERS2 Is live on YouTube hope it does swell it’s just a VLOG of my life really my cat mma strength training cardio. Food, probably my girlfriend when she is ok with a post I make with her in it yea I sat and drank coffee for a good fifteen minutes while looking out the window at the sky and trees. It was peaceful and recharging. I got this I’m gonna make it all work and happen today. Just take care of today and do the next right thing. I’m living a bit more intuitively and flexibly My plan is to have about three strength workouts, 3 mma sessions and two cardio sessions (rowing and swimming) per week. This week I did everything on schedule with just two mma classes and a swim left to round it out. This leaves me two days to rest thank Buddha. todays a full rest day. Bit of stretching and walking is all I’ll do. Oh my goodness I’m so grateful for rest days. The hard work of push pull legs kickboxing and rowing is done. Just a day with two mma classes and one day with swimming will be a breeze more or less. The bjj sparring will be the most challenging but I’m still confident about it anyways. If I fully rest and don’t do any strength training beforehand I’ll have plenty of energy to stay alive and thrive on the mats come Friday. Same goes for swimming. Then next week I’ll have acclimated better to the cardio and mma. It’ll be time to throw in the fun stuff like a handstand before mma and an L sit hold before swimming (^_^) gonna make a goals video now
Yay winning a long game with nemesis ruled. I’m happy wish snap would logging haven’t seen him Yesssss my smite clan now has two members let’s gooooooo the trick was to win a game together, then invite to party and add friend invite to clan. smooth perfect yes ahhhh idk about chatting on mics it’s just a lot of hassle you know? It really takes focus off the game too. Unless you’re used to it or just pro then it’s all good awe I met people who liked me last nite but sadly they were racist and I have black friends so that’s not cool u know hey my channel hit like 1.5 k views I’m too nervous to check it again tho I’ll check again on the weekends Awe there was a comment and I was scared it’d be a troll but it was a very nice person complimenting the video . Hooray dang this que is 3 mins already come onmmmmmmmmmmmm I’m getting the anxy now I’m in a party with a new player, if it hits four mins I’ll restart the timer otherwise it’s probably busted or something omomomom ommm!!! I want this new player to have a good exp winning with me ) go nemesis grawr
I got up at seven am today. Awesome feeling great. ommmmmmm honestly I find I feel my best and perform my best when I only train four days a week. But I’ll do like 1.5-3 hours those days.
There’s too much paper on the desk. I’ll weigh down the postcard and the floppy thing so they stop blowing away I’m unduly tired today. I rested so much but, even a few minutes of shadowboxing on a rest day set my recovery way back . What a drag . All I’m focused on is actually taking my pills at 10pm tonight. I’m going to put them in a cup next to the tv so I can take them even if I’m in the middle of something That’s done I know where the pills are in the couch pocket and I have my phone on me so I’ll know when it’s ten pm time yo take pills I’m getting my mind back online right now. Om I want another vol of the dharma. Drink water check remove friend from last night Full rest today. Then PPL Maybe some mma after work on the ppl days get great sleep Early down early up. I just need alone time. That’s all. Listen to relaxing music and play games. Watch anime. Read the dharma and manga. Just rest my mind. Meeting people in person is so much more beneficial to me socially than online. At least for friendship anyways. Remember to ask Bulma how work was and what her shows books etc are about. Try to come up with mindful responses. Give her full attention. Do good talking to Jane. Getting things done with your training whatever seems to be important. You’re probably just being over confident thinking you can do it already. She’ll give you useful teachings so take notes and ask about some of the things Chris said to ask about. setup Face ID check Go on computer now and try to fill out biz Lic forms for uploading don’t play smite yet Check Business license bus bank acct and psych today prof all are filled and submitted ckckck
Om playing smite with the mic on has been wild. Everyone I met or almost everyone has been pretty seedy. Most of them play with all their free time outside of work which is so imbalanced to me. Ommmmmmmmmm I guess they’re fine living their lives how they wanna. Maybe holistic healthy gamers are few and far between. or maybe you need to meet them offline as that solidified that they do something other than game. it was kinda scary for me to hear someone was like a drug dealer, like a real one. very shocking they were great at the game tho we won three straight by a landslide Phew time to just play solo with everyone muted. I need a break from the om population lol.
Also my so maybe has a uti. So I’m taking steps. Washing with soap beforehand. Don’t use spit as lube etc. Maybe don’t have sex too often either just do hand and oral. im a good boyfriend. I put my best effort to help her out as much as I can. Even when she doesn’t ask for it. Or she tells me not to cause it’s inconvenient for me.
ommmmmm I'm thankful for windows. They can be opened to let in the fresh air which is very clutch right now after I burned some cheese in the oven
Om just hoping to meet some more om productive and well to do people on smite, who just play a bit after work like me. it’s amazing people have played 10k hours on here. Ranked is another level. It takes more effort but. I think it’ll get easier. Normal mode was impossible when I starte. Then I got better and 175 hours later it’s easy for me. Well pretty easy haha. It’s more challenging but it’s nicer playing with better ppl. awe yes special treat tonight. I’m gonna eat a couple beef pupusas. Love those. So good but can’t have red meat more than once a week. I also ate most of a cheese pizzas that was great. Awe me and Bulma played puzzle fighter for a while. She actually beats me sometimes. I think I’d actually have a bette time if I didn’t try to hard and just played at the energy level I’m at. No need to like push push . If I lose I really won the battle to keep my energy alive and well
I get this gentle ache It hurts in a way that has a voice And it says, “I want to love you more.” I feel a somber acceptance As I wish to be just a little more perfect Just a little better than I am now Even though she’s happy Even though I’m the best The ache still cries out at night Asks for a bit more Cries for the lonesome years The killing spree of heartbreaks When will I feel okay again? It’s the zazen You need more of it And it will get you through The acclimation phase I get cold and dark It’s not the time or the weather It’s when the warmth of others grows Dim When the sunsets on my soul It goes cold so cold I was alone for so long Looking at a screen Clicking the buttons Reading pages forever In another land that didn’t have Neglected and abused children Just a fantasy team with a mission Kill the big bad Save the princess Go home to a happy house Full of love, furry feet and dragons It’ll all work out I know it will Some interactions they Hurt me My energy and emotions reel It stings like a whip Bruises don’t hurt much emotionally It’s a fight It’s more or less Nothing personal I Just hate losing I hate it being imperfect I get so upset when it can’t feel good All the damn time When SMITE is just not working Because it’s a high traffic time I’m so drugged right now From the trazodone I can’t Function Anyways Just wanted one game I wanted to wait To be more tactful Take my time Text tomorrow Couldn’t wait It’s okay I can wait now Seems like forever I’m waiting for smite to log in It is either frozen or just in a big que Woah it’s moving again 10+ minute wait to log in Mind blowing lol Now we see if the que will load It did Amaze Ughhhhh trazodone taken at 9pm. Even staying up till 1045pm is a struggle it’s the right thing to do I am good enough Most people who need to accept this Can’t They just keep striving and… Feeling inadequate ‘Am I fulfilling my potential?’ ‘Am I doing enough?’ They ponder and ponder What thought could heal those ones? How about Yes you are and you’re striving for more It zapped me The whole social gamut The omm talking to people thing But, I GOT IT DONE DAMN IT!!!! I’ll take the pain if it makes the gain Fuck my nerve endings Sear them with gunpowder Seal the wound if it takes my last Iota of sanity to endure it I’ll go crazy in an igloo in Alaska All alone till I calm down Just leave me with the Buddha I’ll survive, then thrive Come back stronger I can handle anything I can do anything I put my mind to I am unbreakable I am invincible I am fearless
Om May it all go well I need a different phone case No worries I got it and the old one and the useless earbuds returning Ow my elbow hurts some gonna Try to front squat Gonna try to lift legs at the gym The real gym It’s a short drive but I think it will be worth it Push day I do at home for now Maybe I’ll even hit the gym for that too Someday Doing pull day. I’m sticking with the weighted chinup as it’s more accessible and easier to load. A 45 lb chinup would be awesome. It’s too bad that I don’t get to do weighted pull ups. I just figure it’s safer on my joints and I’m already able to do around 25 lbs with it. It’s too hard being hardcore all the time. Doing it some of the time is ok though. I’m being a minimalist about the training. PPL only 4 exercises push day 3 pull day 3 legs day yea. I couldn’t shrink it anymore than that. Pull could actually do with a 4th for more row type exercise. It’s okay though. At least till I get access to the apt gym again. then it’ll be 4-4-3. Legs stays at three because it’s really tiring doing a barbell squat then a deadlift. I wonder if I could get good at front squatting? This breakfast burrito will rule. Oh dang…,, I need to eat….what’ve I got. should gone for the chicken cheesesteaks that’s my fave. Om
Zen get scared of books sometimes. Books stir up craziness hmm I guess I’ll just read on that’s not like Om that’s something I am very interested in…??? im not really interested in any books aside from manga and the dharma. Maybe I should buy another dharma I’m honestly kind of stressed about money right now. But I should relax and take it easy I’ll be fine. And I’m not gonna spend anything and just live super frugal for now. when I get more money I’ll buy minor things like the next volume of the dharma, the exercise mats for my floor space and maybe some ten lb plates for my barbell. Till then screw it im hanging onto everything I can. Food and rent are cheap enough I’ll just keep grinding for therapy and have free fun with cheap food. I got this. then I want to go for it seriously with saving hard. I want to have a 35-40 hour schedule weekly. Save super hard and just invest everything into mutual funds. Save save save earn earn earn I want to build up a strong frugal habit then keep it going when I’m making good money. It’ll be awesome. Buddha book: $20 Plates: $20 Mats: $20 I can return some things and that’ll cover it all and I can enjoy soon. But not till I get my refunds!
I need better focus I started gaming at one and only play like an hour by five. I should’ve played three hours out of those four I had. I’ll try to make sure that I get my ranked smite time in
Alright so I got Loki to mastery ten Ymir is at mastery six I’d like to get good with discordia too Though she’s like M0 I could try to climb SMITE ranked with just Ymir and Loki however, that leaves few options. I’ll try to get Discordia to m2 before I bring her over to ranked Yeah that’s the plan. Get disc to m2 then just play ranked fill with Loki Ymir disc crap I’m zonked off the meds I have no squat rack is there a tiny one I can use?
