@StartingOver Thank you for your support .... I gathered some info about my mom and her parents .... because I would like to attain dual citizenship and perhaps one day move to Italy now this is a Big dream! I would love to live in Capri ♡ I will settle for dual citizenship for now .... I have my mother's side of the family that lives there .... It makes me kinda happy to go to a different country to live where my mom lived and loved Oh,I can understand and speak, read and write Italian and of course cook lol Mama Mia ! I will fit right in ! I am trying to be upbeat however, today I'm really just not feeling it .... Thanks for stopping by have a great day!
When someone messes with your emotions try to focus on your breathing for a while. Realise that they can't enter inside your read and make hectic in there. One person, only, is in charge.
Today was definitely the worst day yet ! He wants in fact no he insists I go to inpatient therapy for 5 days :'( he said again he enjoys watching porn ! It's nothing against me ! It's really none of my business what he does in private and if I wasn't around all the time I would of never known and he doesn't have to worry about ED or PIED it all works fine still going forward with my plans with a heavy heart however it's so hurtful being here if he decides to talk to my therapist that i dont know who they are yet and they side with him my life is over ! I'm not strong not tonight I'm not strong .... I am scared of needles and this place needs to take my blood :'( I'm sorry Lucid I'm a failure this hurts so much ! :'(
You don't need to apologize to me. Talk about this with your future self. The fulfilled one. Look, if it was easy, this journey wouldn't require a website. Harsh environments want the best out of us. The universe doesn't care about anything at all, but likes to see if people are worthy of a remarkable living.
A therapist should NOT side with one of the parties...what kind of therapist you are refering to? The dude seems to communicate good. He doesnt want to change. instead of trying to accomodate you and understand you, he asks you to turn a bling eye. Not sure therapy would help. You might use therapy for your self, to feel better, but you might need to date a better man...
I couldn't eat or sleep ..... calling in sick I can barely function .... The sad reality is he needs this more than he needs me .... we're heading in the direction of room mates .... its so hard being here :'(
Sooo... you're waiting for the right moment? To make the real change? Don't wait, every moment waisted is a moment wasted and that degrades your clarity of purpose.
I'm sorry to hear you're not doing well. Don't worry too much... you're just having a difficult time at the moment, it won't last forever. I haven't completely understood what you wrote about the therapist. Will you be going to see one? Will your boyfriend also be going? Have you ever seen a therapist before? Don't worry about the therapist taking sides. That's not how a real therapist works. They should ask questions to help you come to your own decisions about things. And to be honest, I can't imagine any therapist encouraging the way your boyfriend is acting at the moment. I doesn't seem to me like you "need" therapy. But if you do decide to go it could be very helpful since you are obviously going through a very tough time. Having a real person to discuss your problems could make the situation seem more manageable and help you feel confident in your decisions. Also, about revenge porn - I really hope that isn't something he has done or would consider doing. There are actually explicit laws against it in many states and laws in other states that cover it. If it's a real concern for you maybe you can remind him it is illegal and he could be prosecuted for it. Here is some information - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenge_porn#United_States and http://www.endrevengeporn.org/faqs-usvictims/ Let us know how you are doing
I quit smoking ciggs it was 2 years in October I'm back at it again :'( I'm going to therapy he has many issues with me .... please, if someone can give me some insight I'm in this situation I have no family and no close friends, not much if little money how do I leave it's so unbearable when I'm home and I can only stay out not too late because of work in the morning I'm barely functional . Where do I begin ? :'(
Go to therapy and rip his theory to shreads about porn and m is harmless. I'd love to be the one in that office blowing holes through his weak ass excuses. Sounds like fun to me.
I was looking if porn is bad and some researchers think it's fine it depends on the studies some are like it's ok. I don't feel good about this I should of never Googled is porn bad for you :'(
Disregard the studies and go for your gut feeling. Forget about the porn part. It could have been something else. Your BF is acting like a dink with you. He cant just tell you to accept the situation and chill. If you feel bad about his addiction, then he has some work to do.
Research says alcohol and chocolate are ok, yet you have alcoholics who have ruined their lives and people who are morbidly obese from overeating and unhealthy eating. Moderation is key, even with porn, and your boyfriend is not moderating his consumption which he probably doesn't realise.
What about the addiction to not eating.... I have no appetite I just smoke and drink water all fkn day and I can't sleep through the night .... Today I'm off I have a rough road ahead .... I'm so cold I'm shivering I can't cuddle him he refuses me .... I just cry barely getting by ... :'(
This is longest he has not had sex with me .... Does this addiction make them ever miss real sex with a person or is this how it's going to be ? I am very lonely and this isolation is making me severely depressed and he doesn't talk to me he only barks questions at me like what are you doing on your phone was the first thing he said to me this morning :'(
Unfortunately, yes. The PMO becomes more satisfying because it is easier to get off now that they are used to it. Please please don't blame yourself. It is him. Leave him and find someone worthy of you, he is not.
@yoyo1 Well I got my answer it feels colder than winter here :'( I guess I'm just gonna have to stay here and be miserable till I find my way .... He is so happy in good spirits ....That drug sure keeps him happy ....
How would he feel if he had a daughter that married a man like him ? I assume he wouldn't like that very much ....
You help remind me why I'm doing this I remember you said you had only moved in with your boyfriend recently. How long were you living there before it became a problem? You seem very upset today. I hope you're not feeling too bad. Remember to look after yourself. If he's not being nice to you, it doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice to you
By your previous posts, you were giving him a daily dose of real stuff. Now, he will eventually want some... I always PMO'd when I was getting horny for real sex but being turned back... PMO'd is easy and cheap. its lazy but intense. One has to recenter himself, re-learn that real sex is the goal. If he asks for some, then you'll have your conversation about that with him. He doesnt understand that you are serious.
