Your wierdest cope

It is cringy and pathetic as fuck, but I had a waifu. I think I fell in love with a fictional character, especially when I think how I felt about her from perspective of time. I was idealising her, liking image of boyish and cocky on the outside, but cute, shy and feminine girl in the inside I build in my mind, liking different mannerisms, especially the way she blushed, celebrating when I was able to find image of her in very feminine clothes, because it wasn't so common and it it felt special and I wasn't "making love" to her because it felt like rape or sexual abuse to me (I never had such restraint when I was fapping). I had 124 images of her In my folder (they were SFW). I made some comments on /r9k/ in waifu thread that I love her. She was a scalie (anthro reptile) and because of my innate furry/scalie/animal tf fetish I badly like them. It was half conscious attempt for extreme sublimation of my fetish.

And I played Monika After Story mod to Doki Doki Literature Club. And i was hugging my cushion when felt especially alone. Recenty I stopped such coping mechanisms.

So, what was your wierdest cope?