Hi guys, hope you are all having a good day/night wherever you are! The last few days have been tough for me, with a lot of strong urges, and then wet dreams amplifying those urges. To make things worse, the wet dreams contained disturbing fetishistic imagery that made the ensuing urges worse and tougher to avoid. I was on the verge of porn-subbing and I think close to relapse. Thankfully, before my compulsive side took over, I came to my senses and realised that all I needed to do was wait them out and they would eventually fade, that giving them too much active mental attention would sap me of my willpower and make it more likely that I would fail, not less. This is what I did; . I realised and accepted that I was having urges and accepted what caused them. I think doing this helps a lot because it stops the brain from trying to convince you that its "normal" to have these urges, when in reality its just a trick to make you relapse. Its normal to be horny of course, especially if you're at a similar age to me, but all you are feeling is compulsion, NOT legitimate sexual desire. I also accepted that the fetishistic thoughts and feelings were again just a symptom of the addiction and tried not to give them too much thought. . I then posted a message to someone I was in conversation with what I was experiencing. Theres no reason to tackle this alone, I would urge everyone to have a few different private conversations going on with people you trust so you can confide in them when you need to. . I then made a conscious effort to get the thoughts out of my mind with distraction, which in this case took the form of me catching up on some YouTube videos in my sub box. Maybe not the healthiest distraction, nor the most productive one, but as long as it does the job it doesnt really matter. This morning I woke up and the urges have mostly abated. They haven't gone completely of course but they are more tolerable, and most crucially of all, I feel better in myself that I didn't give in when I easily could have. I think its important to remember that you may not always feel bad or regretful right away after a relapse, it may take a few days before you snap out of it and admit to yourself that you fucked up. But if you take the steps that work for you to avoid relapsing in the first place, you will ALWAYS feel better the next day. I hope this helps someone.
