You teach me and I teach you

I have mad respect for you too bro, for your positive messages sprinkled all across this site
+ I have noticed that you have liked a lot of my posts on this forum too so,
thank you very much

Bro I'm so happy to meet a fellow hamza cult member on the nofap forums and I have much appreciation for your gratitude.
I do have "atomic habits" on my to read list, much appreciated for that.
Currently reading "Deep Work" by Cal Newport because I need to practice to get the strong focus for studying.

 

Day 42
Counters:
No sweets/junk: 4 days
No PMO: 9 days
No youtube/social media: 13 days
No videogames: 1 days
Study(1-1/2hrs minimum): 2 days
Exercise: 11 days
Meditation: 6 days

Today I am proud to announce that I HAVE FINALLY MADE SOME PROGRESS, WOOOO HOOOOO.
My meditation session was really good this morning, yes I wandered off in my head a bunch of times, but I snapped back and came back to focus a lot too.
This morning I genuinely studied and was present for a solid 20 minutes in total.

Today the weather was absolute sh*t, as always .
But this time I didn't give a damn and I went out in the rain...


then I immediately came back home realizing that wearing a wet hoodie is uncomfortable.
When I came back home I played chess with my friends online (only for like 20 minutes), I wouldn't count this as a videogame.

anyways today I wont let my PC have power over my mind and push through this day with productivity in mind.
Today is the day I conquer my PC and be able to push through my day with it infront of me.

Better day than yesterday, that's all that matter. Anyways I'll see you guys in the next entry.

-Momakyet

 

Day 43
Counters:
No sweets/junk: 5 days
No PMO: 10 days
No youtube/social media: 14 days
No videogames: 2 days
Study(1-1/2hrs minimum): 3 days
Exercise: 12 days
Meditation: 7 days

Good day today, no set backs today.

Today I went to the basketball courts and had a really fun time shooting hoops and practicing my layup (I'm not too good but I'm getting better). I can definately notice that I've lost some progress on my aiming ability because I missed many shots today compared to 2 days ago.

I just came back home right now and I'm having the strangest feeling right now, my head is kind of light and I don't feel like using my PC at all. I feel no urges to play games, look at discord or spend time on youtube, I just feel like I want to turn off my PC, shut my eyes and think.

I think my brain is finally starting to adjust to my new lifestyle that even my subconscious wants the PC off.

I really want to get my own basketball (I'm tired of having to "borrow" an unused basketball in the courts and not being able to practice at home), but I'm too scared to ask my dad to order one because I'm scared of the rejection.
I'm gonna try to build up the courage to try to ask him today.

Wish me good luck!. Anyways I'll see you guys in the next entry.


-Momakyet

 

Day 44
Counters:
No sweets/junk: 6 days
No PMO: 11 days
No youtube/social media: 15 days
No videogames: 3 days
Study(1-1/2hrs minimum): 4 days
Exercise: 13 days
Meditation: 8 days

I think I'm gonna take a break from the nofap forums and from PC for the next few days (My subconscious mind and my brain feels light when I'm using my PC). Its also not a good practice to be counting your days everyday, because it only encourages you to one day stop, which no one wants.

Today at the basketball courts, a kid randomly ran up to me and scratched my eye. Then he ran away without saying sorry and said "Its a truth or dare" and then laughs with no remorse. My eye started watering up and was stinging for nearly 20 minutes straight. My right arm is starting to hurt from all the shooting and dribbling I've been doing for the past few days.

I still havn't asked my dad to buy me the basketball, when he comes back home (which will be very soon) I'm gonna straight up ask him. I'm just really fearing if he says no or starts asking questions. I need to conquer this fear!

Next time I update this journal It will be if there is any counter reset or if I have something interesting to teach you guys. Anyways I'll see you guys in the next entry.


-Momakyet

 

HARD RESET 2 - MINDSET SHIFT

Day 46
Counters:
No sweets/junk: 0 days
No PMO: 0 days
No youtube/social media: 0 days
No videogames: 0 days
Study(1-1/2hrs minimum): 0 days
Exercise: 15 days
Meditation: 10 days

Sorry.....


Genuinly I resetted on nearly today. My improvement has been flawless, but now its time to accept the truth.
So I solomely vow that,

"I am finally free from porn, videogame, junk food and social media addictions, and that is a wonderful and amazing thing"



I think I genuinly shouldnt stay seated infront of this PC anymore, I don't even use it for any good purpose.
From now on, I'm only turning this shit on if I have learned something worth telling you guys, cuz that was the initial purpose of this journal
i.e. teaching you guys something.

I think I might definatly be gone for a long time now, I'm gonna learn something so you guys can learn.


-Momakyet

I never thought of it that way, but maybe I'll try see what I can do about that ( the reasons for wanting are a bit personal, Im sorry)

 

Day 95
Counters:
No sweets/junk: 0 days
No PMO: 1 days
No youtube/social media: 0 days
No videogames: 1 days
Study(1-1/2hrs minimum): 1 days
Exercise: 0 days
Meditation: 3 days

NEW REALISATION AND WISDOM

So here I am 49 days later.

And it seems that my progress got rapidly worse and went on a decline.
I will begin by listing what went wrong:
-I started relapsing more and more often
-Waisted more time on the internet or waisting time watching anime or shows
-skipped all my meditation sessions on my schedule
-skipped all my exercise days on my schedule
-no thought for studying
-stopped journaling entirely

Now I am currently doing my end of year exams and they are really stressful. I am trying to get these exam days over with so I can start afresh and focus on my future self with no pressure.

I think one of the most important thing that I stopped doing early on during this downward spiral was stop journaling.
Journaling is so important and now I realize how much it is needed to keep your head in the game. If you journal about your progress, thoughts and ideas everyday consistently, you will never ever forget about your mission.
We spend so much of our time not thinking and letting our brain run on autopilot as we consume brain numbing content on the internet, websites, videogames, shows + movies and social media. When we end up needing to actually try and use our brains, it is so difficult to focus.

Journaling is a daily reminder to:
-to improve yourself
-think and talk to yourself
-not give up,
-not fall off


When we are spending time we are either,
thinking and talking to ourselves or...
we are wasting time on autopilot and staring at a screen.

YOU NEED TO BE ABLE TO THINK AND USE YOUR BRAIN IN ORDER TO DO ANY TASK THAT REQUIRES BRAIN POWER.
no one can study without thinking about what they are reading or memorizing.
no one can write lyrics without thinking about vocabulary and how they link with a topic.
no one can draw a painting without thinking about the visual image that they are creating.
no one can drive a car without thinking about where they are going and what roads to take.
no one can (insert any skill or action) without THINKING

yes... you need to actually DO WORK to get anywhere, but you can't do work if your lost and don't know where to go.
That's why journaling is important, when we journal we THINK about
-what we did during the day,
-how we can do better next time,
-what new things we want to try and do,
-explore our interest,
-get to know ourselves better.

these are all things that you don't do when you spend hours mindlessly consuming content and wasting time.
If you want to start you need to start by knowing yourself,
something that you have restricted yourself from doing by procrastinating. Procrastination is more than simply leaving homework for later or getting work done later,
its about leaving the thought, of being a human being as an afterthought.

Start off with the date and the time of your entry, what you did in the day and what you want to do tomorrow.
Wonders and a new future may lie infront of you if you do so.
I hope we all take part in this journey right now, because there is no later.

-Momakyet

 

Day 1 again

First of all its been so long that I have forgotten what day this would be so Ima just restart and call this day 1.

Honestly I am so sorry to the world and everyone for fcking up today,
but honestly Today will be the last day that this sht ever happens.

One thing that I have learned while I was away was that counting days is not a good idea, because 1st of all it should be a lifestyle not a number that you are trying to grow and second of all its too much effort and mental masturbation to do that.
From today onwards Ima just keep you guys up to date on my progress on my business, music, mental health, fitness and new things that I have learned along the way.
I've also learned that gaining some sort of success or feeling of achievment will not stop you mind from feeling urges and relapsing, the process of relapsing has become so natural and part of my subconsciousness that it has become uncontrollable at times. The real things that help me are deep focus on work and getting my life together.

My goal by the end of the year is to have at least made 100 euros off my business ideas,
My goal by the end of next year is to have made 500,000 euros off my business ideas.

I know its possible and I know that I HAVE to too, because I need to make a business that is viable enough to convince my parents to let me drop out of school.
I hate school life so much, and I simply cant stand listening to teachers and having to do "school work", I hate the concept of having to listen to a higher authority.
That is why I WILL become financially free person because the 9 to 5 work life is a life that I can not and will not live.

Trust the process.

-Momakyet