yo

Nice initiative this forum !

I'm 24, french and my screename is obviously a joke I don't fap to scato porn.
I'm going for 90 days without PMO. Giving up P is much easier for me than MO. I don't need visual support to masturbate. I tried to create the PMO tracker but not sure it worked. I hope it will help me because it's one thing to fail and live with it but it's another to fail and everybody knows.
Why quitting ?
When talking about it most people say "there's nothing wrong with pleasuring yourself" The thing is I don't get pleasure from masturbation anymore. It feels a lot more like a need. A need to empty my balls. Maybe a physiological need. I have trouble falling asleep when I want to masturbate but forbid myself... I pride myself on living an addiction free life (no drugs, alcohol...) but this masturbation issue feels like an addiction since no matter how strong my will power I relapse way too much. After a relapse I feel depressed and have thoughts like "that was terrible" "what a waste of time" I feel deep frustration as well since for me masturbation is about fantasising about girls which means I'd much prefer to have sex instead. Ejaculation feels like a come back to reality "no girls here" and I feel sorry for myself. The positive effect is that I don't think about sex for the next 2/3 days. But after those 2/3 days it's like I forget masturbating doesn't give me pleasure.