Yet another day 1

Hi! I've been tracking this movement online, off and on, for about a year but never made the effort to participate. But I'm back to yet another day #1 today, so I figure I need some support.

I'm 39, M, and a moderately harmless, lifelong use of porn took a turn for the worse a couple years ago when I started visiting cam sites. I now understand that, for whatever reason, having a real live person on the other end triggers all sorts of dopamine for me. I began spending more and more time and developing a taste for seeing more severe, more graphic things. Classic signs of a downward spiral. The impact on my personal/professional life hasn't been catastrophic, but it sure as hell hasn't been positive.

I installed K9 several months ago (keeping the password at work), but I've proven to be endlessly creative in finding ways to get around it. All these false starts have resulted in a reduction in my porn use, but not nearly to the point that I need to get to. I've probably had 15-20 day #1s in the past year, never making it more than 30 days, but I really want to get through a full reboot. I need to do better, and for that, I may need some help.

 

Thanks for your support. I guess part of the challenge in this stuff is that this struggle is so personal - most of us don't tell anyone at all about it. Getting a sense of accountability from strangers on the internet may not be ideal, but it beats no accountability at all.