Writing my first post, restarting my streak, sharing my story and still hopeful

Hello everyone here.

I am 21 male. Just turned 21 today and this will be my first post here and I am not quite sure what should I title my post. Also, not sure if anyone is going to read this but still wanting to write and share this post with you all. Though honestly I have been on nofap for years but never got the strength to write a post but now being struggling with PMO for 7 years I have decided that I want to open this up to you all here because I want to authentic (honest) and open about my journey/struggle because I don't want to keep this as a secret anymore and live a double sided life as well as I want to really kick this thing out of my life. I know this post will be a little lengthy but I will be sharing my story on how I really got into all of this and also it will be mix of other things too. Also, I am not a good writer. So it might not be perfect. Moreover, my story may seem odd, weird and ridiculous but I am trying to be as honest as possible. So please bear with me till the end.

My story starts when I was probably 8-10-ish years old and I came across this book filled with all this P photographs well I don't know what my feelings were that time because I was too young. So I don't quite remember. But I remember when I was 12 years old that's when I really started watching P but I used to see vanilla stuff I don't quite know how I got introduced to it but still it was not a problem back then. But it really became a serious problem when I was 14 years old and I got introduced to this P streaming sites which I got into bacause of my classmates and my curiousity as a 14 year old kid like I can still recall that I had changed my school and there were these people who would just talk about P all the time like did you saw this, etc, etc. So one day I really got curious like what is this thing and I just searched for it and I clicked on one of the websites that appeared in the search results and that's when I got introduced to it. Initially, I was horrified and shocked of what I saw but later it became my go to thing (not quite sure how it ended becoming my habit). Also, because of this I don't know for sure but I also got into MO-ing alot and I have escalated to weird more hard genres which I found horrifying and disguisting initially (this may sound like a joke that you are talking from the scientific research but I am serious about it and I am actually a living example of it.) and now it has got to the point where I have become really lonely like I don't have any friends now, I don't have interest in anything like I feel everything the same and boring, my grades have started going down like when I was in the high school I used to bring A grades but now I bring B and C grades (btw I am in university now), I always feel depressed, sad and regretful like it has got to the point where it has literally tanked/wrecked my whole life and the pain has become unbearable like I just don't want to live this life anymore and I want to live a better, joyful life and I want to become the person I also always wanted to be.

During my struggle with P, when I realized at one point that this has become a problem, I started taking steps to get of this thing but I have not been successful so far in escaping it (like for 1 year and forever) but my longest streak has been 29 days which I failed because I saw someone's reddit profile because it looked interesting and it contained P stuff on it and I gave it in and my second longest has been 10 days which been quite recent and I am already starting a new one because I am hopeful one day I will be free and I am not going to give up anytime soon. I am already reading following a few resources like `fightthenewdrug`, `nofap`, `gary wilson's YBOP`, `Noah B E Church` and a youtube video playlist on `How to quit porn - in depth course by ***`

Good luck to all of us here. Let's kick this stuff out of our life and have a better life ahead.