Wound up like a spring.

I feel myself clear today, yet there is a hint of fatigue still holding me down. I know it shall pass, another coil in the spring. Today I don’t wish to be tired so instead I fight. I’ll be working outside feeling the heat of the sun. Tighter and tighter I do feel pressure build inside. The essence of abstaining.

I would rather feel this way than ground down, spent for lack of a better word. Like an empty bullet casing I become something to deal with. I want to be the shot, the explosion instead of the remains. All metaphor, this energy brings you to action. Restless at home, restless at work, restless in my own mind.

To be restless is the want to move, to go out into the world and make some change. Even if I am the coiled spring in which can come unwound. I would rather be wound up tight than loose and taken by the wind. You fight for life instead of fighting yourself every day, day in and day out, the same thing.

We have something inside us that wants us to live. A sense to both elevate and connect, we need to do something. We are here and wasting away, you have to feel and see the disappointment. Eventually there will be none, just nothing, no word good or bad.

We only miss the battles when we recount them. In the fire it is tough, it hurts, and it leaves a mark. After a while you throw yourself in without a push. Wanting the chance to sharpen your sword, or completely destroy yourself trying. Why live and do nothing when there is always something?