Would you be comfortable if people saw you masturbating?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Apr 4, 2019.

Would you be comfortable if people saw you masturbating?

  1. Yes

    11 vote(s)
    20.4%
  2. No

    43 vote(s)
    79.6%
  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    It's interesting to think how when it comes to masturbating we are so ashamed but we still keep doing it. It's also interesting (but also logical) how it's generally accepted that a behavior is still bad if done even if nobody knows you're doing it. For example, you know doing tax evasion is wrong even if nobody catches you. Or you know fucking your cat is wrong even if nobody knows and obviously the cat isn't going to tell anyone either.

    Yet when it comes down to masturbation all people HIDE yet they desperately cling to calling "normal". They instinctively hide in shame. Before you go "BuT ITs ChRIstIANiTy ShAmInG" on me, all Abrahamic religions go against masturbation and so do most cultures/religions - Hinduism, which is huge, forbids masturbation, chinese culture is against it, the Aztecs had punishments against masturbation (and Aztecs where completely separated from "modern world") some cultures don't even have a word for it cause they just don't know how to do it at all. And so on.

    I was deeply ashamed when i first started masturbating at a young age (7 or so). Nobody ever told me anything about masturbation and especially nobody told me that "God doesn't want me to masturbate" or something. I just hid from everyone. I masturbated like a fiend and hid all throughout my teenage years without having a clue it's against my religion. Nobody told me "Don't masturbate" or "Don't masturbate cause it's bad".

    It is an instinctive thing to hide because it IS shameful and we know it, no matter how much woke "sexual education" we get. We are literally fucking our own hand while imagining things, it's absurd.

    Just think what situation would make you more uncomfortable. A clip of you having sex being out on the internet for anyone to see or a clip of you masturbating (to ejaculation) being out on the internet for anyone to see?

    Would you be comfortable if a woman from Instagram/porn/facebook was near you and actually saw you masturbating to her?
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2019
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  2. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    Fantastic post. You point out the great lie about masturbation. So much propaganda that serves to undermine society tries to normalize things that are truly detrimental to a stable society.

    If it's normal and healthy, why do we hide it? Brilliant!
     
  3. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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  4. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

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    What kind of argumentation is this again?
    The Aztecs also flayed human sacrifices and removed their hearts, in Hinduism tradition young people get married by the arrangement of their parents and already in their teens, meaning they do not have to masturbate at all, because they´ve got married anyway as soon as sexuality wakes up.

    And if you are quoting other cultures and religions, you may also mention the antique Greeks/Romans, where masturbation was nothing special (mythological invented and taught by the god Hermes/Mercurius to the shepardgod Pan for example), it was also well known in old Egypt, I could quote you ancient texts, where gods created whole worlds by their masturbation. (don´t worry, I won´t)

    That´s sad, because you have been raised up in a sexual repressing environment like nearly everyone, who feels guilty about this. I knew everything about it quite early and couldn´t wait until I was finally able doing it, which was not before 12, that I discovered the working technique finally by myself. (I had not Hermes or big brother who showed me the trick) And there was no porn available at all to trigger or inspirate me and still I did it up to three or four times a day that time. It was just natural healthy teenage horniness.
     
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  5. Lenard Fosterman

    Lenard Fosterman Fapstronaut

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    It might just be normal and healthy to hide it? Why don't you have sex on the streets? Isn't heterosexual, reproductive sex normal and healthy in your opinion? It should be practiced everywhere. Without shame. Brilliant!
     
  6. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

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    I would not feel comfortable having people watching me masturbate. Too be fair though, I wouldn't want people watching me poop either and there is nothing evil about pooping.
     
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  7. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    I must admit Lenard, your point is correct and shows my logic is incomplete at best. As well, you did it in a humorous way.

    However, I still maintain that there is a certain disingenuine approach to masturbation vs regular sex. Most men I know happily brag about having sex.....because it's normal. Yet these same men vigorously deny masturbation and display a certain amount of shame over the topic.

    So, you are right, but I think the original poster makes a good point. There are a lot of lies associated with masturbation.
     
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  8. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

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    Nor is there something evil about sex. As long, you don´t kill or torture anyone during it, against their will.
    But I totally agree with the argument of privacy. Also I do not want to see other people picking their nose and eating their boogers in front of me.
     
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  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    The point was having to chose between a leaked video of you masturbating or one with you having sex.

    I'm saying masturbation is inherently shameful, and in a different way than just wanting to keep things private - you are comfortable when you get up in a meeting to go to the bathroom even if pretty much everyone knows you'll be pooping or at the very least taking a leak. When it comes to masturbation, if the opportunity of sex arises, you'd be much more comfortable with people assuming you were going to have sex than them assuming you would go masturbate.
     
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  10. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I just read the title. No.
     
  11. Randy

    Randy Fapstronaut

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    Actually, being watched while masturbating turns me on. Was this meant to be a trigger.
     
  12. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

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    That's where you are wrong (at least in my case)

    I'm very religious and want to wait until marriage before having sex. Masturbation is shameful yes but I would be much more ashamed in myself if I broke that commitment I made to my religion and had sex before marriage. If I was caught by someone that would just make things worse.

    If I was married I would assume the reverse is true. That being said I'm not 100% sure about that. I wouldn't like the idea of someone walking in on my naked wife. And I'd especial would not want to know that a video of it was leaked online.
     
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  13. Theamos

    Theamos Fapstronaut

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    When i first started I hid it but during a sleep over with bunch of guys we admitted we all did it so why hid it
    I kept that not shame even when i was in the service and military
    I do not hid it from my wife either
    No shame everyone does it
     
  14. Lenard Fosterman

    Lenard Fosterman Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your fair-mindedness David, and sorry for satirizing your comment.

    However I maintain that we are talking about culturally defined concepts of masturbation and that there is no inherent morality to it. Your observation can easily be interpreted this way, too. As you said: Because it's normal. Norms are cultural constructions depending on values and vary widely over time and different societies. In this/our case the normative concept of masculinity expects men to perform sexually with women, so bragging about having sex is crucial to prove manliness to one's peers. Masturbation in this concept is seen as an unmanly (at best teenboyish) act of compensation for not being able to find a girl for sexual release. No wonder nobody likes to admit it.
    We may antithetically conceive of it as an act of self-love (not PMO ofc) that even enhances a man's lover qualities when it comes to partnered sex, being more aware and expert of his own sexuality and more attentive to what the other person needs and feels. However we tend to view male sexuality in terms of technical functionality and demonstration of dominance - not to be the intimate expression of an emotionally sensitive being. There is a lot of insecurity at stake - doubts of being really proficient. Better not to expose yourself by talking anything else than pretending to be the perfect womanizer when it comes to sexuality.
    Or as Theamos reported: Once everybody admits it, you suddenly feel much more comfortable to admit it as well...

    The original argument wrongly equates privacy and shame. I like to masturbate privately, but I don't necessarily feel ashamed when doing it (I don't). And maybe not even when observed - I may not like to be observed out of different reasons. Intimacy is not necessarily shame-driven. There are notions of protection, exclusiveness, maybe even sacredness to it - which evenly apply to intimate partnered sex and masturbation. It is legitimate not to do everything publicly - this alone doesn't make an act morally good or bad (as the pooing example showed, too).

    As TimeToQuitKnow's post indicates as well: this is a highly subjective matter. The thread opener generalizes his own experience and suggestively tries to derive a universal morality from it. If you personally feel that masturbation is not appropriate for you, why isn't it enough to hold that opinion? Why do you intend to prove that it is intrinsically bad for everyone?

    There is not 'the truth' about masturbation - that's why there are no 'lies' about it. As with everything else in life you're requested to evaluate it and make up your mind about it yourself.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2019
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  15. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    It's nice to see a very reasoned and thoughtful commentary on such a challenging topic for we men with masturbation addiction. Thank you Lenard. This is what a good forum is all about: The original poster making a genuine attempt at a good theory, and skillful examination of that theory. Both are valuable to me.
     
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  16. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    Nobody needs to see me masturbate or have sex.
     
  17. WayneKest

    WayneKest Fapstronaut

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    I almost relasped thinking about it
     
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  18. ChangeSince95

    ChangeSince95 Fapstronaut

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    @Davidphd1866
    Would you be comfortable if people saw you shitting yourself or taking a shower naked?
    Would you be comfortable to throw up infront of a crowd of people?
    Would you be comfortable to have sex with your girlfriend while the whole world is watching?

    end of the story, have a great day.
     
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  19. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    You are a little late to the party. That objection has already been raised and commented upon.

    End of story. Have a great day. (and become a better reader)
     

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