Worst at Night...

Learning a lot about myself and the way other people, and the world, works on this journey. I no longer desire porn, and am doing SR, so P and O are starting to become less of an issue.

However, I've got an issue, and I don't know how to feel about it. I probably need to stop this habit too, I just have a hard time doing it.

Spoiler: Embarrassing Habit

Humping my pillow at night due to fantasies of a real relationship. My urges get so bad at night that I've tried to look up p*rn on my smart TV in my bedroom, so I hide my remote so I can't access it.

It seems this has become a coping mechanism because I work very hard during the day, and I don't interact with many people (In a nutshell, I can't relate to most people, I'm living for the future so I see life as work and endurance. It will pay off). However, I feel I need to kick this habit somehow. During the day, I feel I have full control and no desire, but it's at night when it gets tough. I sleep with my phone in another room, and without the TV on. I've tried everything from reading, getting up and praying in the middle of the night (Probably need to do this more), and taking meltonin to sleep longer.

Part of this is probably hormones I'm sure, but I'm not trying to make excuses. It's like a whole new switch goes off once I get in bed.

Anyone struggle with the same, or have any advice?

Thank you

 

I have, I'm probably going to do it more often though. It is very helpful, and when I did in the past, a "layer" of this addiction was shed off. Really puts things in perspective when you deny your needs and desires.

I've just read your posts, thank you! I take melatonin and that helps sometimes but I still get up in the middle of the night.

I've heard of this, thank you for the info! I'll keep this in mind for sure. I really hate that my libido has been so high, it feels out of control honestly. I try not to think on it and try to focus on other things, but it always comes up.
I tried applying this knowledge last night but I still gave into 'proning'. I'll have to do better.

Thank you all for your responses so far

 

I agree, I sleep so much better without the TV and phone. I've hidden my remote so I don't watch TV anymore, and that has been better, but I'm still fighting thoughts when I wake up breifly in the middle of the night.

I can understand, I've felt this way. I'm struggling to see what would be "rewarding" for me at this point. I need to change my mindset because I just feel like life is work and self-denial, gotten used to the routine. I'll just have to do some introspection, interesting point you brought out here.

Thank you