Online chatrooms / dating sites , not to Actually date girls , but sext (pic swap / talk dirty )..or webcam . It's whole different cyber monster way worse than porn to shake ! Kinda became my drug of choice . More highs than even porn , because there's a chase , and it's personal , and the girl participates .. Tough to shake ! Anyone else struggle with this ?
Absolutely. Same boat. It's what my brain craves most. The hardest part was deleting the pictures from girls sent to me and deleting (and blocking) the numbers of girls who I used to sext. They were real girls who I hung out with before. I knew I didn't want to be with them long term so decided that it was messed up feeding my addiction through them. I advise you do the same. My last relapse (I counted as a relapse but didn't fap. I knew I was feeding my addiction though so reset) was in the middle of the night a couple of weeks back. I was tempted to go online and find girls but resisted. I woke up in the middle of the night and grabbed my phone, perusing dating sites for girls to sext with. It was as if my brain waited for my weakest point and attacked. I was half asleep and by the time I came to, I was already turned on and too far in to stop right away. Eventually I deleted the apps but it was a close call. The online sites for sexting can be catfish many times also. I started talking to one girl who sent a couple pictures but wouldn't send more. She kept using me for dirty talk for herself. Eventually, I started thinking that this could very well be someone not in the picture or even a guy (creepy yes I know but it worked to think that: allowing me to delete their number). Stay strong
Thanks bro. Encouraging to know I'm not alone in this. Don't think most of the guys here have gone into that actual "inter active" level.. I beleive it's the next big challenge for our society. I think there will be whole new forums dedicated to this. It's not like regular porn, where you can just write it off with the usual "you don't know what they go through" mumbo jumbo.... These are willing participants, who are doing it because they too are turned on... not for cash.
Yes, porn was never really enough for me. When I escalated to real world interaction, that's when everything went downhill in a hurry. Porn is a gateway for me, though, so, complete abstinence is critical for my recovery. That's what led me here. Today is day 43 completely free, but it's still an ongoing fight.
The chase is what gets me. I feel like I need the chase. Kinda horrifying to me and makes me feel like I'm not myself
Absolutely same as you. I never had real contact with any person, but sexting and webcam are my drugs. I remember, when I spend whole night (8 hours!!!) masturbating and waiting for another girl on webcam to interact. In the end, it never brought me something meaningful. It is just a big waste of time.
I recently blocked P with covenant eyes and but then became adept at using a few different random video chat platforms on my phone. MO while interacting with real women adds a self esteem boost that is more similar to real sex than PMO, making the whole thing feel "healthier". But time goes completely out the window, sometimes adding up to 6 or 8 hours on a day off, whereas with PMO i could take care of an urge in 20 minutes and move on to productivity after. In addition, I have a girlfriend of 5 years so this is simply cheating and breaking our honesty code. The shame! I'm 36 hours since the last chat and I never ever want to use it again. I'm scared to login to delete my account because being on it will be a trigger, so I came here to talk about it instead. Anyone else want to share their stories about the evils of random chat?
I've been down that rabbit hole. Sexting with random women, as you've stated, is definitely cheating and you're more likely to take it even further if it continues. If there's anyone you can trust to delete your accounts for you, I'd suggest having them do it. Maybe even an accountability partner here.
OK, but isn't that less dangerous than porn? Porn is totally anonymous and one-way. With chat, you are at least two-way, you have a kind of communication.
And that is the danger! The thing that there is somebody on the other side is making from this something very triggering. I started with watching porn when I was around 15. Around 23 I discovered "the magic" of random sex-chatting. And now, 3 years later I can tell you this: 1. Random chat NEVER leads to something meaningful - it is just an endless masturbation in front of your PC, which makes it same as porn. 2. If you think that you can find a girl for real sex, then wake up!! I never met a girl from random chat in real! Just think of it - which girl wants to met a guy, which one she met on that kind of site? That girl lives only in your fantasy. 3. I spent hours and hours there, I remember nights, when I didn't sleep at all... At last it's just a BIG waste of time! 4. If you go there and you are telling yourself: "I just want to fap" - then it is the same evil as porn, no?
People need to settle down, married, and then have kids. This is what society is based on and now because we find it very difficult to find the right one it has become an industry. They would like to make it easier for us yet they want money. Big industry but NOT as evil Pron industry. Why the girls need to look sexy? It because it also has become an industry: beauty industry. Can't really blame them, they are victims, and so are the guys.
I certainly do. I've been there a lot, and yeah, it's even worse than porn because it's interactive, and you can discuss pretty much any fetish you can think of (including some you won't be able to find in porn). Just so you know, often times, the "girl" on the other end of the chat isn't actually a real female. It's very easy to find a few pictures on the Internet and use them to create an "identity" to get people in. Best to simply stay away completely.
You are right about settling down, but I think you are wrong with comaparison to porn. If you are addicted on writing and spend there same amount time as on porn - then it is the same evil. Moreover I often start chatting and after few hours I usually end up on porn-site. So, from my point of view chat is worse then porn. However, it depends on each of us - I think there are people who are able to chat few hours per day and still they are not addicted.
I think for addiction via dopamine release, the human-to-human chatting is worse than porn. There is afterglow, the feeling of having satisfied someone else, and this means the drip-drip-drip of dopamine continues longer, making random chat more addictive. It is harder to use too, which means the time goes absolutely down the drain. It's poison, and it's PMO. stay away!
My update is I haven't had much idle time, but I've gone 8 days without PMO. I've had 3 O's with girlfriend in that time. I feel good enough to keep going, though I still fear what lays ahead. 8 days is nothing.
I'm glad i'm not the only one... this was def my goto of choice as well. Intoxicating and really fogs up your real life
I find it MORE dangerous than porn. The addiction is even stronger. But its just as damaging because its still not REAL..
