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Women at work

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ukmercenary, Sep 23, 2020.

  1. Sep 23, 2020 #1
    ukmercenary

    ukmercenary Fapstronaut

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    So I have recently left my last job after being their for 4.5 years. It was getting incredibly boring and frustrating. I won't lie I used to look at escorts on my mobile at work as I was so bored. I don't know why I think maybe I have a short attention span.

    Anyway I have got friendly with a lady at work she is American is very chatty and bubbly unlike most English people who are stickup. I don't fancy her at all really she's not my type but I do like the company. I was recently fixing her laptop and noticed one of her internet favourites had a link about loneliness she was their when I saw it and she must have known I saw it too.

    My mum always told me that a women and a man can never just be friends.
    I think she has a point. I almost feel I am waisting my time being around her as she has two kids from a failed realathionshop maybe I just feel sorry for her.

    The biggest problem I have with noFAP is that ( I could be wrong her) is not to look at porn and not to objectify women. What it does not tell us is how to meet young attractive women. If we just make do with women we meet at work who we don't even find attractive how is that good for us?

    I guess I am a bit down as I have lost my job it's hard not to look at porn and escorts as we always want what we can't have?
    I have tried using Brainbuddy but it seems like a stupid app that is taking advantage of people by charging a fee every month for an app that doesn't change.
     
    ukmercenary, Sep 23, 2020
    ukmercenary, Sep 23, 2020
    #1
  2. Sep 23, 2020 #2
    Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    It's common to think men and women can't be friends, but looking around there seem to be plenty of people who maintain friendships with the opposite sex just fine. I'll link you to a video that helped me see a new perspective on it.

    You may need to get that feeling of 'abundance' in your life. NoFap is a great tool to help us get back to our core confidence, and we can use this confidence, or engery, or whatever you may call it, to socialize more.

    Talk to women more, talk to men more, consider joining dating sites, or taking dance lessons. Learn game (the true inner game - not the manipulative 'pickup line IX followed by script 23B' style). And pretty soon you will gain momentum.

    Finally, your job situation may also be an opportunity in one sense... You can have free time to work on these skills, read books you may have put off, achieve some fitness goals.

    Some good advice from the same guy in that video^.

    Work smart, not hard. Focus on what you can control. Reward yourself.
     
    Reborn16, Sep 23, 2020
    Reborn16, Sep 23, 2020
    #2
    ukmercenary and Mo1989 like this.
  3. Sep 23, 2020 #3
    Love2LongBoard

    Love2LongBoard Fapstronaut

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    Learning to not objectify women is not your problem. Your problem is learning how to interact in a healthy way. Not objectifying doesn't mean you cannot approach women, converse with them, become friends, date, enjoy their company, etc.

    Actually understanding that they are real people will help you interact in a healthy way.

    You seem to believe that they only way to find an attractive woman is to objectify them. That simply isn't true.
     
    Love2LongBoard, Sep 23, 2020
    Love2LongBoard, Sep 23, 2020
    #3
  4. Sep 23, 2020 #4
    InappropriateUsername

    InappropriateUsername Fapstronaut

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    I dunno. Considering I’ve either had sex (or tried to) with every female friend I’ve had, I‘m in the can’t-be-friends camp.

    if your objective is a relationship/sex with a woman then you may be wasting your time. But if you find her interesting and her company enjoyable, maybe friendship is okay.
     
    InappropriateUsername, Sep 23, 2020
    InappropriateUsername, Sep 23, 2020
    #4
  5. Sep 25, 2020 #5
    ukmercenary

    ukmercenary Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice guys I think I won't go out my way to meet a girl particularly if she won't make the effort to come and see me it has to be 50/50 or I will come across needy and over invested.
     
    ukmercenary, Sep 25, 2020
    ukmercenary, Sep 25, 2020
    #5
  6. Sep 25, 2020 #6
    Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    This is where dating advice gets confusing and I'm personally still getting my head around it.

    It's hard to explain but you've got to make the effort (but be okay if it doesn't work out - knowing there's other women out there). Just putting yourself out there in a vulnerable way shows her your inner confidence.

    Doing this, your efforts are not needy or over invested, you're just going after what you want.
     
    Reborn16, Sep 25, 2020
    Reborn16, Sep 25, 2020
    #6

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