Hello everyone, I have been trying to quit the addiction of PMO for about nine months. So far, the number of the days without PMO is no more than 14 or 15. Always, at some point, I decide to be free from PMO, but I dont go further than five days. I will now list the points where I did wrong and I will give feedbacks to what I have written. 1. Before quiting, usually, I tell myself I need to stop PMO because I have exams, presentations, or big moments to determine my life, so I think stopping PMO will contribute my concentration. Even though I achieved the things like I said above, my brain focuses afterwards... After that much of time, it wants its rewards. Therefore, I need to reconsider these "big moments like exams and presentations" from a newperperctive. It is better not to think them as "big moments". They will pass and be forgotten eventually. 2. I count the days ... My first thing in the morning is how many days I am in this process. It may seem it is a good way for reminding myself about my addiction and recovery process, but also, I inject the idea of obligation not to do PMO. Thus, the clock in the brain about PMO is always ticking throughout the whole day. 3. When my life is full of pressure and stress, I always think there should be more relaxed days to quit PMO in the future. I said to myself that after these "stressful days", I would stop PMO, I would create a new life for me containing new hobbies (like doing sports, writing stories), and the process would be easier, but guess what ... Although those "more relaxed days" came, I never started to stop PMO, and plus, I ruined my recovery (since I always tell these to myself in recovery process at days of five or six). I now see these as tricks performed by brain. I understand that there is never and will ever be perfect days to quit from PMO. 4. Socialization is my problem... I cannot withstand to talk to people (my friends, my family members) since I get bored eventually. I think one of the reasons is PMO because you know how this affects the brain. I pushed myself to get socialized, but I always ended up in the scenario in which I am alone with myself. That is a huge part of this problem. I need to go outside more and more. 5. I dont plan my days beforehand. I am not prepared for the moments when strong urge comes up, and I dont know how to handle them. At some points, I say to myself "Okay, I will do HIIT cardio when urge comes or I can do urge-surfing", but my brain thinks itself there is not enough time to perform these alternatives since I think I dont have much time due to studying, preparation of presentation and etc. For example, I relaized that, NOW, I spent much more time after I relapsed. After PMO, I smoked, thought my health issues (what I would do if I get covid), I juged myself in negative way (you know how it feels), I searched for this forum and finally I am writing this post. As a result, I understand that dealing with urges takes less time What do you think about my list? If you can contribute, I would be happier. In fact, it would be perfect if you can share your times when you made mistake. I really need a support and a hand on my shoulder. All best, love u..
