wish i can stop relapsing (story about me)

i lasted 126 days is my longest streak and was so disappointed in myself when i decided edge (and i usually cant control edging) but it wasn’t really edging as i wasn’t really reaching down inside my pants and stroking, i was waking up on a saturday morning while rubbing myself against the bed and boom! brain couldn’t take it anymore and relapsed. went another go and this time i only lasted 16 days which is funny, you figure with that long streak that my next go would be even longer breaking the habit. but i guess this is really a tough addiction to break. and i dont have any addiction to porn whatsoever, and i dont really see how you can have an addiction to something you “watch” over something like controlling my body, just doesn’t make much sense to me. same thing as saying people having an addiction to video games, how? would you even get withdrawals from something like that if you quit? i just can’t relate to any of that. i admit i play video games everyday but thats mostly out of boredom having no friends and barely going out anywhere due to the fact im still inexperienced at driving and having social anxiety and just being nervous in every single social situation as something as simple as making a phone call. cant approach a single girl and stuck with crippling fear of approaching a stranger which i thought nofap would of helped at 126 days but i guess it just works for everybody else in nofap community besides the 10 percent of people.

but yeah i implemented cold showers which works a little, exercising on and off mainly because i have a sleeping disorder that i cant figure out whats going on waking up a couple of times a night and waking up feeling tired as hell, and i have to wake up at 6 in the morning for my job and even when i have more time to sleep on the weekend, i feel the same - feel like i haven’t slept at all. and it feels like im overall on edge all the time and my social anxiety is worst. got 2 sleep studies done with everything normal but going back to the doctor to see what else could be going on.

 

emotional hurts? like what, as far as people tell here theres no scientific evidence that masturbating is that bad for you.