Willfully and Mindlessly

I have been on Nofap for only six days and I've gone again and masturbated to pornography.
My problem, and I wonder how many of you guys experience the same thing, it does not seem to be so much of a simple, nail-biting urge at times as it is a pure, selfish inclination.
The most disturbing feature of me doing this is to do it in a willful manner to where I have little consideration for women, my own self, others, and God. I do it despite all the good reasons why I should not do it and I do them in a purely selfish manner.
I feel numbed to the heart by these things and I wish to stop.
Again, it's just how I do it willfully. It's like "Why do it? You've been doing good for these past few days, there's no real urge. Why are you doing this?! Why are you doing this to yourself?!"
I am abusing my God-given freedom. I am abusing my freedom for some selfish pleasure I don't understand as to why I'm doing it. I need help!