Why NoFap should be a lifestyle choice...

Amazing !! Thank you ((

 

Interesting point. I have given up PMO and drinking alcohol at the same time. I went through a period of majorly PMO-ing and also drinking too much.

I think I see day counting as helpful, but I can also see how it might become a fetish.

1. The day counting helps me to see where I am in my recovery. For example, it has been two months since I have had alcohol, but I am still in a 'vulnerable' place for another month or so, and that helps me to be a bit more vigilant that I normally would be. Same with the PMO.

2. It is a reminder that in the great scheme of things, two months is not very long, and that I still need to have things like porn-blocking software on my computer.

3. Realizing I am a bit vulnerable, I focus on visiting this site daily, having accountability partners, etc.

4. It helps me to be mindful of the benefits I get from no-fapping, rather than assuming that my life is just naturally awesome.

5. I doubt that I will ever get to the point where PMO is not something to be conscious of. After all, there is a lot of sexual prompts online as well as real life, and we know form history that the most celibate of people can slide into sexual behaviors.

On the other hand, this site is really set up for the 90-day re-boot. There are some people here (including me) who see the no PMO option as a much longer term thing. But perhaps we are in a minority.

Perhaps, even, there should be another site or page who want to see this as a permanent option?

 

The importance of 'WHY'..

 

Counting days or having 30, 60, 90 days target should be a mean, not a goal per se. Being PMO free is the main one.

 

Generally speaking I agree with you man. Comparing it to smoking works for me too, though in a different way.

This evening I socialised with a few people. It's really damn hot here in London at the moment and I sat out on the balcony with a friend after dinner enjoying a glass of wine, catching up, while she smoked cigarette after cigarette. A month ago I would have matched her, but I declined.
Then on the way home I caught up with another friend, and got a half at the pub, where we bumped into more people and hung out for a while. Again, everyone smoking and I declined. Later on, after some consideration I decided to indulge in a cigarette. But on my own terms, and I enjoyed it!

Equally with PMO, my main goal here is to ditch the dependency on P. The secondary goal is to get rid of my dependency on MO. The thing is, if I am successful (by my standards), then every so often I will break the streak and MO, but it will be on my own terms and I will enjoy it, reset the counter, but not feel guilty.

For me, breaking the 'addiction' isn't about cold turkey, it's about regaining control.

 

Does that mean you shouldn't set targets on your PMO routines because I just started yesterday a 3-day goal in order to prevent myself from doing Nofap. I failed today, but am still going to keep on going, however, would it be easier to not track your progress?

 

Let me give you an accurate explanation as to why people count days in regards to PMO addiction:

Smoking for instance, is not something that your body should naturally crave unless you make it so.
Anything sexual is usually a need since it's a function that leads to reproduction, it's embedded into us since a very early age and thus, it's a hard habit to get rid of, since you're trying to control somewhat "natural" urges.

Counting days as far as PMO goes, is usually about getting to a point where you're fully healed from overusage of P alone, many people will still M (and obviously O) post reboot. It is said that it takes around 90 days for every negative side effect to go away, but a lot of people don't want to quit M and so counting days makes sense so you know how much you've progressed.

Personally, I do not wish to engage in PM post reboot however I've been severely affected by overusage of P growing up and so I'm keeping track of my days anyway so I know exactly how long it has been and how much longer will it take for me to be fully healed.

And yeah watching P isn't natural, but it's directly related to sexual urges and that's why it's a hard habit to break.

 

Goals are a great way for some people to motivate themselves. The, only issue I find is that a goal implies an end point. You get there, and then what? Either a bigger goal needs to be set, or tell yourself you can relax.

My personal preference is to take it a day at a time and not get too caught up in the days. If I notice urges to PMO I don't find it helpful to tell myself "but you're only 3 days in and you need to do 30!" as it makes the task seem like resisting PMO for 27 more days or whatever your goal is - but really the task is overcoming that moment of impulse.