Why does porn feel like it has such a powerful hold over you after you relapse?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, May 23, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Why does porn feel like it has such a powerful hold over you after you relapse? If I ever relapse for about a day later I think no way I will ever be able to escape porn. But then after a day without it I go back in to the mindset I can do this, I can quit it. Like one day can make such a difference. I can go from not being able to stop thinking about porn, thinking I will never be able to get away from porn, to a day later not caring about porn and thinking I can quit it.

    Why does this happen?
     
  2. wwtl

    wwtl Fapstronaut

    Like me in 2014 you still MO, so your brain cannot rewire.
     
  3. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    I'll explain the feeling..basically it's your brains need for another dopamine HIT.
    Kinda like heroin addiction when your body needs it it has an incredibly powerful hold on the person. But it's all in your mind your brains need the hit, that's what its use too. You have to fight back and understand it's not gonna be easy at all. Do some research on" escalation " and dopamine and the effect it has on your brain.
     
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  4. Fixmybrain

    Fixmybrain Fapstronaut

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    I know the feeling (going through it right now), it's a battle between temporary comfort and logic--you must use the willpower to rise above. That's why it's crucial you don't relapse
     
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  5. Targaryenn

    Targaryenn Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for this post! Thanks, man!
     
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  6. Targaryenn

    Targaryenn Fapstronaut

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    Yes man, but sometimes is not easy, is very, very hard. Sometimes we don't have willpower.
    Some advices, please?
     
  7. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    No problem friend
     
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  8. diep

    diep Fapstronaut

    Willpower alone is insufficient. You can't just wing it to get out the grip of porn. Especially when you are tired, stress or depressed. Brain will tell you to figure out the quick fix is just one Enter away. What you should do is abandoning all technology until the urge is over. The urge does not stay there forever. There are time you need to take time off the screen. Plan for time off screen in advanced so you have an emergency plan in case that the urge is strong.

    P/S: Don't test yourself before porn to see how strong your mind and willpower is. This is just a stupid thing to do for porn addicts like us. No matter how many times you test that, you will fall. Believe me, I have been through that.
     
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  9. nitsuj0786

    nitsuj0786 Fapstronaut

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    Willpower is good but it is like a muscle. If you haven't used it very much it won't be that strong. You can work on getting it stronger but I wouldn't just sit on the computer and tell myself no. @Blackjedireturns is correct, your brain craves that dopamine hit. I suggest you research work of Gary Wilson, I'll drop a link below. You should also get on Your Brain on Porn .com it will be helpful too. Knowledge about the addiction and why it happens from a biological standpoint is will be a valuable component to quitting. It is over an hour, but worth it for the knowledge. If you don't feel like watching the full video, ask yourself if you really want to quit then. That may seem like a harsh answer but I wouldn't baby myself when trying to quit.
     
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  10. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    Radical lifestyle change is the answer. Cut off the source of P 100%, no matter what it takes. Sell you smartphone, quit your job, move to a new city, whatever it takes. This is a serious problem, and the cure will be costly, especially if you have been an addict for a long time.

    Willpower will fail. When it does, you need to have no way to access P. Supportive community really helps with this, too.

    You're in the right place. Keep moving forward.
     
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  11. kropo82

    kropo82 Fapstronaut

    This is not going to be a popular answer. I think it is because for a long time porn does have a powerful hold over us. When we relapse, or come close to a relapse, we are reminded of that. Then if we settle back, especially if we settle back into bluster and posturing, we forget or kid ourselves into thinking that this will be easy.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2019
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  12. Tao Jones

    Tao Jones Fapstronaut

    I was going to say the same thing. You have said it well.
     
    kropo82 likes this.

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