Why do I keep watching this shit

Had an issue and I'm ashamed to say I started watching ts porn a while a go.

Took me a while to work out what's what. And why I watch it.

It's fucked up. Because I've never been into the actual dick aspect in fact I'm absolutely disgusted by it .

When I watch it In fact i always covered it with my thumb . And if I saw a bit too much mail in it I would feel sick to my stomach .

I don't know what drew me to watching it something new and difficult to clarify to my brain . My brain saw a women but wtf she is jerking . Fucked up. There was always this sickening feel after watching and disgust.

Because at the end of the day it's a god damn dude. I've always been on the impulsive side and if my brain sees a female and I'm already turned on its like eh fuck it . And it's something new on my brain again it's the covering.up of the dick part . I started watching it on cams because you can say whatever the fuck you want it's like some primal shit.

It's really bad for your brain . I know I love women but your brain on porn seems to open boundaries that you would never ever cross because your not gay. I mean a dude who literally looks like a knock out female it's fucked up. When we watch porn you always see a dick. I think generally when we watch regular porn were used to it . But we don't watch it for the dude so you don't really acknowledge it because it's not even on your radar sexually. When you watch ts porn it's the same except there's no visible sign of a dude . But when all's said and done it's even fucking worse because your actually jerking to the dude who's been surgically altered to look like a women .

It always makes me feel sick as fuck .
Ever time I watch it I feel sick.

Generally im trying to give up porn and kife is way better not watching it but when i do I watch girls on cam and my porn use is much more healthy. I don't feel disgust just normal and damn there are some gorgeous girls . Porn at the end of the day is just a tease . So I think at the end of the day you always want to try and take it up a notch because it's not the real thing .

So I end up watching ts cams simply because you can say some fucked up shit and not give a fuck . Funny how the mind works because they say porn is a lot of the time fantasy. So whatever fucked way your use escalated and connects to some need .

Again I always cover the body parts because it makes me sick so this is a real weird one for me .

It's a wrestle with reality to fill some perverse need .

So I think that's why I keep thinking I could watch some shit today . You always forget just how fucking disgusting it is and just go eh . Talk some shit cover up parts and feel sick as a dog after .

It's some developed perversion or something .


I stop watching it and i feel great it doesntveffect my attraction to women but it really distracts your mind because of shame and disgust .


That shit should not be circulating your brain .

This genre is god awful

But because I'm male with a high t level it's easy to forget how gross it is and go for that aspect that turns you on . Chick with a dick who is insanely turned on by want to blow you.

As it's so fucked up.

It's like there layers to this . My brain takes the female aspect with the added sexual behaviour but it can't unsee the male. God it's awful .

Fuck porn of this kind .

Initially I was quitting porn because it's pathetic to a degree. Some gorgeous women on those cams and I never really have a problem watching it . Only reason I wanted to stop watching it was I escalated to this grime. And watching girls eventually leads to watching this crap aswell on occasion.

Life is much better not watching porn. I don't really have an issue watching porn when it girls infact I just watch enjoy and forget about it and if you see a girl who infact is absolutely gorgeous you kind of have recurring thoughts but there's no.mental anguish of any kind.

This shit is a completely different story and it never sits well with me . I feel physically and mentally grossed the fucked out from watching that. But I keep going back because I forget about that and again there's talking shit and the other aspects that can be separated that you remember. Shit you wouldn't really say to a women . It's all porn and escalation and this shit is fucked .

Wish I'd never seen this . Have to keep reminding myself how god awful it is and how god awful it feels to have watched it and live in peace and harmony in my porn free or female only porn mind .

This is degenerate as fuck a trick on your brain and not good for your mental well being . I never want to watch this ever again fuck you