Why do I keep relapsing so much?

Hey, thanks for sharing that.

Well, hopefully in a few years from now I can tell you what the reason is in my case. Cause if I knew the answer I wouldn't be struggling myself, haha! I've had long "dry" periods myself too, but still I'm here.

You can only answer the question yourself. Could it have underlying causes, as you suggest, like boredom? In that case, perhaps you are not replacing the addiction with something else?

Being non-religious doesn't mean you don't have values. But religious people usually have certain values which they are reminded of repeatedly. What helps me is to do something like that, to remind myself every day of how I want to live my life. Not just on the difficult days but also on the easy days, when the addictions seem to be gone.

By reminding yourself of your values and goals you move towards something better, instead of just moving away from the addiction.

much love

 

I've discover that not only chemicals like dopamine are addictive but also emotions. So in your case maybe you have a hidden taboo desire to sabotage yourself, to feel broken, or maybe feeling like a failure. Of course this is unconscious. My advice would be to practice shadow integration, browse around and if you find it interesting I can recommend a few books that I've been practicing

 

This is your situation summed up. You don't have a clue what it is you want. That's why you jerk off so much.

 

I guess you're bound to be at least halfway right.

 

Have you tried?:
- a good AP with which to share all your struggles
-A2U software with people you trust
-punishment and reward

Do you have?;
-a consistent schedule
-a life purpose and intrinsically motivating goals
-hobbies/ activities that you are passionate about
-friends and family to share your emotions with

Have you discovered the root cause of your pmo habit? Have you done deep psychogical "soul-searching" as to why you are pmo-ing and keep coming back? Whats the initial reason you started abusing pmo? How does this relate to your triggers? Can you see a relationship between your psychological makeup, the triggers, the root cause and the type of porn you watch?

 

@safa61947 You seem bitter or something.

No one is criticizing you. The reality is that when you post something like this, people are going to form and share thoughts and opinions. None of us are perfect; all of us are flawed. But I don't need to be guided by a guru or be a monk or a sage in hopes of establishing a purpose or having a meaningful life. It seems that you think you do. Jumping around from religion to religion is not the answer. If anything, doing something like that is indicative of your desperate and frantic nature. People with faith are usually lifelong followers and believers. You testing out the waters of Christianity or Buddhism or whatever else for days, weeks or months at a time only to dismiss them soon after points to the fact that you truly don't know what you want or how to go about finding out what that even is.

You're here testing others when really you should be focusing on yourself.

I'll answer a question you posed to someone else. I personally found what I consider to be a couple of my purposes in life. While I'm doing what I can to fulfill one, my subpar health is keeping me from doing the same with the others. But I'm working on it. After the damage I've caused myself by engaging in PMO and subjecting myself to years of sleep deprivation, I don't expect to get better over night.

 

Hey man. Im just giving you all the tools that ultimately led me to have a system that works for nofap. Cultivating those things, finding a purpose, making new friends, discoverig passionate hobbies are all part of the nofap journey!

Im not telling you to do all these things at once. But since you answered no on most/ al of them i guess you have a wonderfully challanging to do list and enormous room for improvement. You should be excited!

As a reference; i started getting rid of drug and gaming addiction 7 years ago. I replaced it with excercise and meditation for 3-4 years intensively. Then, about 5 years ago i discovered nofap and had my first streaks, i entered 2 relationships and for all this time i had mostly 1-2 week streaks. Simultaniousl i finished my studies and did a lot of reflection, reading etc. to discover my life purpose. I decided on starting a business and have been doing that for the past 4 years while regularly meditating and excercising (but not as intensively as before). It is only now (the past year) that i started on more serious streaks (+- 2-3 weeks) and discovered the root cause of pmo (discovered it exactly 3 weeks ago).

The current streak feels effortless, due to all the trial and error and effort i have put in over the past 7 years to live a meaningull life. The last step was a good AP, A2U software, no more home laptop and discovering the root cause. Combine that with a very active life filled with work, hobbies and friends and this is your recipe for succes.

If i can do this, you can too, and probably faster than me. I have an addictive personality and it has been one hell of a long road to purify myself. For the reference, im still smoking cigarettes! Been trying to quit that since 7 years aswell!

Jusy saying, this is a gradual process, where you replace bad habits with good, you discover what you enjoy in life and what you actually want to spend time on instead of wasting your life on drugs, fapping, gaming, ...

When you see me all seems well; i got a business, life plans, my body looks and feels healthy, i have friends, my mind is calm and peacefull, i meditate excercise and eat healthy. But this shit took a lot of work and effort over a long time. But still, after all this time, im still addicted to cigs, and this is only the first time im having a 5+ week SR streak. The work is not done.

 

You are keep relapsing bcz you get pleasure from it . I advise you to better leave this disasterous habit before you get addiction related brain changes . These changes happens slow over years and once you ruin the brain it willl be too late to wake up then . So if u are still normal by brain wake up otherwise its a miserable life ahead . I have been goin thru this

 

How did you discover the root cause of your pmo problem? And would you be willing to share what it was? Of course, you might feel that’s too personal.

 

I will make a detailed post about that in the following 2 weeks in my journal and the dopamine detox challange thread

 

Hello man, could you tag me when you make your journal related to discovering your root cause? Also the dopamine detox journal

 

Hi, if you could tag me too for when you make the post it’d be much appreciated.